I'm guessing we will learn the basic breathing techniques. Your traditional hoo hoo hees. One problem: My wife gets dizzy very easily so I'm concerned. I'm going to have to sit next to her with smelling salts throughout the birth. Nothing but the doctor saying "And pus- Is she out again?!?" and me bringing her back.
I hope they teach the non-birthing attendees how to avoid getting their hands crushed. Scientists have found that a pregnant woman's grip has the same force of an adult African elephant's step in a stampede. Adding in the heat that a pregnant woman generates, she could turn coal into a diamond. (This is still in the trial phase. Pregnant women don't like to hold dirty things while giving birth.)
Maybe the hospital provides a fake hand made out of the same material they make sex toys out of. They make them very realistic these days. My wife can squeeze one of those instead and I won't need X-rays. The birth is going to cost enough.
Never would have thought this would be in my baby blog.
We actually aren't interested in learning about the delivery. My wife and I agree that the baby will come out and the doctor will tell us what to do to make that happen. It's like landing a plane. It works out no matter what.
We signed up for these classes for two things - to see the maternity ward and kind of get our bearings and to get some quick tips on handling a newborn. It's important to not bring the baby into the world in a place the parents have never seen. Babies can sense discomfort. As for the tips, I don't really remember everything from home ec class when we carried an egg around for a week.
The new home ec eggs are crazy.
It's an all-day affair so I might live tweet it if they let me have my phone. If you want to tune in, follow me.