Wednesday, April 14, 2010

American Idol Season 9 - Top 9 (Again)

I knew a night with Adam Lambert would be crazy but it had nothing to do with him. He gave great advice and led us to the best Idol night so far. Sorry Usher. It was Elvis week and the judges didn't care much about making things current. Everything sounded old and that's fine if the judges don't care. Ryan took a dig at Brian Dunkleman 9 years later. I hope it didn't take him that long to come up with it. My favorite part was how Ryan's mom didn't disagree with Ryan when he said she was probably disappointed to have him as her son. Well played, Mrs. Seacrest. Oh yeah and Ellen liked everything. She didn't dislike one single performance. That's old-school Paula judging right there.

Crystal Bowersox - "Saved" - I didn't know the song and that was probably fine. Crystal does well each week but I'd like to see her do a slow song and belt it out next week. Simon loved it, of course. Simon is like a helicopter parent for Crystal. It's ok to point out mistakes. Crystal will love you more for it.

Andrew Garcia - "Hound Dog" - This was the kind of singing that makes him go home. He's not a big voice singer and that arrangement needs a bigger voice. Andrew needs to take every song he wants to sing, treat it like it's going to have a physical at the doctor, and strip it down.

Tim Urban - "Can't Help Falling in Love" - This performance felt like it should have been in one of the Shrek movies. Tim could provide the voice for an ostrich (fits the look on his face) that used to be a prince and needs Fiona to kiss him. He grew out his nails like an 80s secretary to do some pick work. It was very good.

"That ogre takes you for granted. I run 30 mph."

Lee DeWyze - "A Little Less Conversation" - I feel the need to be more critical of Lee because he's my favorite and I never say anything bad about him. I liked it, sure, but I'd like him to shout less. It's better when he goes from regular rasp to big rasp. That's what works for Harvey Fierstein.

Aaron Kelly - "Blue Suede Shoes" - What's Japanese for "Empty Orchestra?" The song isn't believable coming out of him. I don't think there's a single human being that Aaron would be able to keep off his blue suede shoes - fat guy moving in slow motion, toddler with no arms, paraplegic in front of a gust of wind. It didn't work.

Siobhan Magnus - "Suspicious Minds" - Her hair looks like her version of the hair bike helmet from Flight of the Conchords. She sings like she's asking people if she has food in her teeth. It was better than she's been. I won't say she's back in the competition but she was worth watching which is important.

Just needs the Siobhan streak on the side.

Big Mike - "In the Ghetto" - It was very good. I reluctantly will give it to him. He occupied his arms and legs. Always key. It got a little dreary by the end so, thankfully, I don't have to overpraise it. Man, it sucks. It's like giving props to Dick Cheney...for singing well. I'm glad he didn't do "Love Me Tender." That would have been a cheesefest worthy of Wisconsin.

Katie Stevens - "Baby, What Do You Want Me To Do?" - She has to learn that attitude is not just sliding your head from side to side. I counted 65 head to the lefts and 64 head to the rights. That's good pseudo-attitude balance. I don't know what she has to do to make me like her. Going home might be a good start.

Casey James - "Lawdy, Miss Clawdy" - No one has ever gotten a good set of remarks from the judges from that performing position. Kris Allen's worst week was right there with "All She Wants To Do Is Dance." This was one of those Casey middle-of-the-road ones. It was fine but there was nothing spectacular. He had momentum like the bus in Speed heading towards the gap in the bridge only he stopped pushing the gas pedal and he didn't make it across.

Bottom Three: I went crazy with my guesses last week and only got one right (Aaron Kelly). That one is going to stay right here with his terrible performance this week. I believe Andrew Garcia will join him. I want the last spot to go to Big Mike but he'll be safe this week. Damn it. That leaves Katie Stevens or Casey James but I'll stick with Katie.

Going Home: Aaron Kelly and Andrew Garcia