Friday, April 23, 2010

Tor Baby Countdown: 39 Days

I find myself wondering what the baby is going to be like. What will she get from her mother? What will she get from me? This isn't Gattaca. We can't pick and choose these traits and features. However, that doesn't mean I can't hope for the following to become true.

My Eyes - If there is one thing I like about myself, it's my eyes. They change color. They work perfectly. My wife's contacts are so thick, I'm surprised she can close her lids around them.

Her Nose - My nose doesn't work correctly. Sometimes I stop breathing at night and my wife lays there concerned until I gasp back to normal respiration. My septum had all of the promise in the world but strayed from its intended path and can now only serve as a warning to other septa. My wife could Krazy Glue corks into her nostrils and win this category.

In case you needed a visual.

My Equilibrium - My wife needs to take breaks along the way from sitting on the couch to standing. It's like she's on the last fifth of an Everest ascent.

Her Brain (Mostly) - I've always said that my wife is 8 times smarter than me. She is so accomplished. Our daughter will be so bored in school if she has my wife's brain. And that's what any parent wants.

My Sense of Direction - My wife gets lost in our town. She gets confused as to which way we came from upon leaving a store at the mall. I don't want our daughter to get scared if she finds herself in a different corner of her crib.

My Jumble Skills - I have an uncanny knack for rearranging a random set of letters into words. It pays huge dividends in Scrabble and various online games. I'm hoping this for my daughter so we can have epic Scrabble games and not ones where I just beat her into embarrassment.

Great job on "go," Sweetheart. Now I will put "requiems."

Her Genuine Laugh - I don't mean to imply that she has a fake laugh but there is something about genuinely getting to her that is infectious. I love when I do and hope that I can find it in our daughter. Though I hope it's not exactly the same because that would be weird.

Her Sensitivity - I cry too much.

My Ability to Throw and Catch - She wouldn't have been drafted last night. I would have.


Her Confrontational Skills - I run screaming from the slightest amount of unrest.

Her Body - Mine would look wrong on a daughter.

Our Love - Our daughter's already got that.