Tor's News Nuggets: 3/2/10

Information has come in stating that OSHA issued a report to Sea World warning that a captive whale would kill a trainer. Before that report, the only warning we had was the adjective describing the type of whale.

(NERD JOKE) In this week's issue of "Spider-Man," Peter Parker will be affected by the economy when he loses his job as a photographer. Parker will learn that photographers, like Green Goblins, are a dime a dozen.

At an event in London, Lady Gaga told reporters that she is single and celibate. Lady Gaga is looking for a man who is evolved, not as in socially mature but as in having a next-generation sex organ that can mate with her.

According to People magazine, Bill Clinton offered his support to Tiger Woods via telephone. I just have one question: Why does the universe continue to throw softballs to Jay Leno?

Chad Ochocinco has been announced as one of the dancers on this season's Dancing with the Stars. Producers think this is a step in the right direction for the show as Ochocinco is actually a star.