Oscar Bits They Didn't Have Time For

Neil Patrick Harris came out and sang but Bruce Vilanch and company came up with so much more...well, gold. I got my hands on some of the ideas they rehearsed and didn't have time for in the 9 hour telecast. I posted a few on my Twitter feed last night but here is the whole list:

1. Martin and Baldwin sumo wrestle in the bomb-diffusing suits from "The Hurt Locker"
2. Baldwin and 4 other avatars bring us back to the 70s with the parody, "In the Na'vi"
3. Martin and Baldwin, dressed as Hitler and Goebbels, hit the town looking for women as two "Heil-ed and Crazy Guys"
4. Baldwin comes on stage. Martin appears via remote satellite on the large screen and fires Baldwin from the rest of the telecast.
5. Scenes featuring Mo'Nique from "Precious" are recut with Martin as Navin R. Johnson in the Precious role. Navin will learn what being "born a poor black child" is really like.*
6. Something to do with "An Education"
7. Martin and Baldwin hang out in "District 10" because they are on the waiting list for "District 9"
8. Baldwin enters wearing a football uniform complete with pads. When Sandra Bullock is announced as the winner, he barrels down Meryl Streep, picks her up, and carries her out of the theater.
9. A five minute montage showing Martin and Baldwin meeting, striking up a friendship, making a pact to finish the Oscar telecast, Martin getting sick during the Best Actor announcement, Martin dying, Baldwin setting off to complete the mission, and ultimately finding out that the mission wasn't completing the telecast but outliving Steve Martin.
10. An older boy scout (Martin) who still lives at home and gets picked on by all those around him finds solace in an overly affectionate next door neighbor (Baldwin) in "A Canteen Boy-ous Man"

*Just read that they did hit upon "The Jerk" parallel last night. I have Cablevision and did not have the Oscars until after the first couple of awards went out. Nice to know Vilanch and I are on the same page.