Saturday, March 27, 2010

Tor Baby Countdown: 66 Days

We went to a friend's son's first birthday party today. At this point in our lives, there are lots of babies everywhere we go. This party was no exception which is weird since one year olds don't usually have many friends. They have mandatory friends in the form of relatives and the parents' friends' kids.

Mandatory friends aren't so bad. They help with early socialization and other supposedly important developmental stages. What bothers me is that the birthday boy's mom and my wife have conspired to betroth the boy to our unborn daughter. I've known of this intended union for some time now so I took the party to observe and determine if he's worthy.

We got to the party late and he was already passed out on the couch. I'll let it slide as I found out that yesterday was his actual birthday so he was probably exhausted from the previous night's partying.

When it was cake time, he smashed what was in front of him with his hands and then proceeded to smear the chocolate frosting all over himself, his clothes, and the high chair he was sitting in. This is actually pretty funny. Spontaneity like this is so rare these days and it is a sign of someone willing to go to any limits to entertain. My daughter may have a down day and need a pick me up. Cake smearing might be just what she needs to smile. That's one point for him.

Finally, during the opening of the presents, he had no interest in the cards which is a sign of bad manners. He was a big fan of a Mickey Mouse plane that he could ride. Though, I fear he has pilot aspirations which is bad as pilots are never home. That's a lot of nights home alone for my daughter. That wears on a marriage. That's one point against.

That leaves us at a draw. However, this would be the perfect time to have a wedding. As the bride's parents, we are responsible for paying for it and a baby union would be very cheap. The wedding dress needs less fabric. They barely eat. They don't know a lot of people so it would be a small reception. Plus they would have to still live at home so no down payment help on a new home. We may even be able to split a place with the groom's parents since they would have to live there too. It makes total financial sense to marry our babies right now.

If only I can get past the pilot thing. Oh yeah and the ridiculousness.

Weird, right?

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