Ok, it was rough for all of us last week. Time to hunker down and make the right choices, both in song and comedy. The guys are up first this week because Crystal Bowersox had to go to the hospital. She got violently ill thinking about my suggestion for this week's group sing.
Michael Lynche - "This Is A Man's World" - The judges loved it. I don't really get it. I thought it was too understated. With his muscles, he could lift anything. Maybe next week he should try our spirits.
John Park - "Gravity" - "I'm hungry, is there any food?" was his Korean example? That's how he proves he knows Korean? By saying the phrase you learn after "Where is the bathroom?" He's failing us as a pre-performance video subject. And that's all he's got going for him. Do you think Shania Twain can deal with how wrong she was? Because this guy....wait for it....don't impress-a me much. Thank you! Seriously, it's just a lyric used playfully. It's nothing.
Casey James - "I Don't Wanna Be" - Never had a TV? How is he going to watch back how average he was this week? He should have done this acoustic. I appreciate that he can play electric guitar but his voice doesn't go over it. Just because I can operate a blender like nobody's business doesn't mean I make smoothies while doing stand-up. (Nailed it.)
Alex Lambert - "Everybody Knows" - The last note was rough but holding a guitar was a vast improvement, stage presence-wise. What if he held 2 or 3 guitars? He'd be like Bette Midler out there (if she held 3 guitars and had a mullet). Good job and he got a Simon pep talk that should carry him through.
Todrick Hall - "What's Love Got To Do With It?" - His jacket made him look like a pewter figurine that came alive and sang Tina Turner but he didn't come completely alive so the pewter figurine couldn't keep up with the music. His days are numbered. Plus, Simon called him Tondrick. When are these contestants going to have names he can't mess up? This is why Simon is leaving.
Jermaine Sellers - "What's Going On?" - He uses steam baths to open his voice. They should take it away. That voice needs to be closed permanently. Put an eviction notice on it and then hire a demolition team. He's all presentation and no substance. Also, the presentation is poor and now we lost the account! Damn it, Jermaine! This company's going under!
Andrew Garcia - "You Give Me Something" - He is missing out again. He should have done this song more fun and acoustic. I was worried when there was no guitar in his hands. I knew it. This boy needs to hold a guitar. Did Alex steal it from him? Simon was disappointed again. Andrew will be in his bathtub later crying, scrubbing Simon's disappointment off himself until he bleeds. Chin up, Andrew.
Aaron Kelly - "My Girl" - A country version of a motown song. That was weird. Is he too wholesome? Is that a thing? I'll make it one. I don't like him because he is too wholesome. He's the Anti-Adam Lambert. Skittles should come out of his mouth while he sings and mice should make him dresses.
Tim Urban - "Come On Get Higher" - I wish Andrew Garcia had done this song. Would have been so nice. Still, he did a good job with it but he stayed away from the falsetto notes like they were unwholesome things and he was Aaron Kelly. Is it catching on yet?
Lee Dewyze - "Lips of an Angel" - This was my favorite of the night. He's still not perfect but I love him. He's the frontrunner in my opinion (and Simon's). There's nothing else to say. I hope he can keep pushing himself since none of the other guys are competing.
Going Home: Jermaine Sellers and John Park