Days Of Our Vacation (Day Eight)

Previously on Days Of Our Vacation, Loly and Kevin robbed a series of banks and were gunned down unmercifully by law enforcement at the point when they thought they were most invincible. Ain't that the way?

And now...Days Of Our Vacation:

We woke up early and headed to Phoenix which the concierge told us not to bother doing. She was right. Phoenix is dull. It's mostly office buildings and future office buildings. We were told by that same concierge that if we come back in a year, though, man...Phoenix will be hopping. I'm almost willing to call her bluff.

This was a sign we drove past that prompted many questions regarding procurement of tickets from Loly and I:

After the lackluster city tour, we returned to the hotel and gave a "you were right" head nod to the concierge and made an appointment at the hotel spa for manicures. A manicure is a special time in a boy's life and I was glad that my wife was there to share it with me. The beautician, or spa-stress as she liked to be called, spent the entire time taking my lack of small talk for insecurity about my maleness with regard to the procedure. This could not be further from the truth. I was the one who suggested the manicures because I didn't feel like cutting my nails. I assured her it was not a male ego thing at all and proceeded to sign up for an ass wax to hammer the point home. Ten shiny fingertips and one complimentary butt donut (I have a sensitive bum) later, I was ready for a night on the town.

For dinner, we went a restaurant called Mastro's. It is the greatest restaurant ever (if you like eating steak and seafood). We had been to the one in Beverly Hills when we went to California a couple of years ago and it was amazing. In fact, we pretty much added Scottsdale to our vacation just to go to this restaurant. I enjoy a good steak and these must come from cows that are treated like queens. These queen cows must walk on cushioned earth and eat the finest grasses, grasses that are equally enjoyable for each of their four magnificent stomachs. As for a side, they provide lobster mashed potatoes. I love lobster and I love mashed potatoes. If you would have told me that I could one day get both of those in one spoonful, I would have kicked you in your blasphemous face only to have to apologize later for realizing this ridonculous dish is not a dream. You need to go to this restaurant. Find a way.

We went to bed that night still in a food coma wondering if we should go there again for tomorrow's dinner.

Did we? Tune in tomorrow for Days of our Vacation (Day Nine)...