Tuesday, February 24, 2009

CDC You Real Soon, Beer Pong

Doctors have determined that playing beer pong can lead to the transfer of the flu, mono, or even herpes. This doesn't make any sense. How can drinking a cup of beer that's had a ball that's been on a dorm room floor countless times the least bit dangerous? I mean you rinse it off in that rarely-changed cup of tepid water each time it hits the ground. A tepid water rinse is to disease what the morning-after pill is to babies. And I don't even need that one year in the Pre-Med program at Seton Hall to tell you that. That's why every guy dips his junk in warm water after a night with a particularly dirty hooker. It's the responsible thing to do.

These doctors are a bunch of nerds who were not allowed to play this great game and are now using their "science" to ruin things for the rest of us fun people. These doctors may ask, "How do you explain all of the sickness and disease among people who play beer pong?" To them, I say, "Coincidence. Mere coincidence." I'm sure the stomach flu I get every time I go to the city and then eat is because I forget to wash my hands after holding the pole in the subway car. Sure, doctors. Sure. Why don't you go play your Warcrafts or build your telescopes and leave the cool people alone?

5 comments:

Jen said...

"Holding the pole" in the subway car?? T.M.I., Dude. T.M.I.

Kevin Tor said...

Oh, Jen. You need to get you mind out of the gutter. I'm not that kind of person. Soooo dirty, you are.

Jen said...

I sowwy.
No I'm not. lol

The day before this story broke, my improv teacher told us about her recent Mexico vacation...they played "tequila pong." Are you thinking what I'm thinking?? Stronger alkeehol, better germ-killing ability. I'm back in, baby! lol

Anonymous said...

Kev don't believe Jen she is sooooo
dirty and horny !!! lol

Mo Diggs said...

One time I did this gig and these jocks would not stop playing beer pong and talking.

So it is definitely spreading Asshole's Disease