Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Tor's New Portmanteaus

No, they aren't tortmanteaus or portmantors. Though those would be fantastic examples. These are words that are the combination of two other words a la "smoke" and "fog" make "smog."

Jesustenance - A way of living in which a human survives solely by consuming Communion wafers and church wine.

ProfessioNell - Someone who spends his/her life devoted to the impersonation of "Gimme a Break" star, Nell Carter. Also known as "The roulette dealer you can't identify at the Imperial Palace in Las Vegas."

Afrog - The main character in a famous 1970s Toadsploitation movie. Afrog was a framed amphibian put in jail after cops found drugs and stolen merchandise at his lily pad. Afrog spends the rest of the movie clearing his name while maintaining his pond cred.

Spermanent - A hairstyle from the 90s made popular by Cameron Diaz in the movie, "There's Something About Mary." Does not last as long as a regular permanent.

Portreat - The ultimate in narcissistic edibles, a cracker in the likeness of the consumer.

Parliamentos - Known as "The Lawmaker," they are a brand of mints exclusively used by England's government.

Cromance - An overly-friendly relationship between two early modern humans. Though the persons labeled will deny it and just say they are being cros.

Spluge - A variant on the popular sledding sport. After a long slide down the track, the sledder hits a bump and takes a dive into a water pool. Points are awarded for dive tricks.

Whoremality - The point in an illicit evening of passion when the relations are over and the prostitute wants to leave but needs to get the payment. If you are the John, get this out of the way as you don't want to meet her boss.

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