Friday, February 19, 2010

Tiger Woods Pickup Lines


Excuse me, Miss, are you looking for the fairway? Because you coming back to my hotel is the only fair way for this evening to go.

Hey, were you just promoted from Army captain because I'm always up for getting another major?

Is that my golf bag in your pants because I just finished a long drive and I'd like to put my wood in it?

Is your body a shot that comes up short on the 17th hole of the Old Course at St. Andrews because I can see it rolling around in the sand?

Are you a Nike One Platinum ball because I'd like to (indicates self) see you on a T?

Would you mind being treated like a green that I'm 140 yards away from, holding my pitching wedge with very little wind in any direction? Because I'm going to come after you aggressively and probably leave a ball mark.

Are you sure you aren't all four majors because you would be a grand slam?

Are you into kinky stuff? How would you like to do something I won't do for anyone on the PGA tour? I'll let you beat me.

Hey would you like what you're hiding in your tight jeans to be the 34th ranked golfer in the world because I can make that V-jay sing?

Obviously I'm a man that loves Gatorade and I'd definitely like to raid your gato. That's mispronounced Spanish for cat which is another word for...you get the idea. I'm Tiger Woods.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love the golf bag in the pants!

jim said...

Ya put my wood in it !!

General Viagra said...

It remind me about the episode of South Park of the previous year game of Tiger Wood, that you can play with him or with his ex-wife and fight between them.