Current Music Thoughts - Summer 2009

Imagine for a moment that you are an angel. You are sent down to Earth to watch over people and guide them out of harm’s way. Now, you are assigned to a person and when you get down to Earth, the person spots you and starts screaming, “I CAN SEE YOUR HALO! HALO! HALO! HALO! HALO!” Wouldn’t you ask to be assigned to someone else? Someone less defective. C'mon Beyonce, your song's got you looking so crazy right now.

Sometimes people come up to me and say, "you should do the Helen Keller." And I say, "What? Be an inspiration for all and have the girl from Little House on the Prairie play me in a movie?" And they say, "No, silly. Shake your hips." And then I punch that person in the face out of respect to everyone who's ever met Helen Keller or seen the movie.

A lot of people don't know this but Andy Gibb was the first person to coin the phrase, "Disco Stick." He was known to precede it with "Suck my" when his brothers would flaunt their much greater success at family reunions.

The Ting Tings song, "That's Not My Name," has such a fantastic beat that I wish they would make a fifth Bring It On movie ASAP. That or take it off the radio.

I know you want me. You know I want cha. Trust me, repeating this 400 times with a Spanish accent doesn't get you a lady. It gets you a headache.