Tor's News Nuggets: 9/16/09

A Florida woman is carrying around a cardboard cutout of her boyfriend who is serving in Iraq, taking pictures with the cutout wherever she goes to try to cheer him up. I think a better way to cheer him up would be to have the real boyfriend in front of a cardboard cutout of Iraq.

After hearing about the Kanye West-Taylor Swift incident, Barack Obama called Kanye a "jackass." He then followed Kanye West around ruining his golf outing with Bob Barker.

An elementary school boy found a rare pink grasshopper at a wildlife event he attended for fun with his great-grandfather. When asked to comment, the bully at the boy's school struggled to say, "Pink grasshopper...wildlife event for fun...too...much" and then exploded.

Snuggie presented new styles of their comfort loungewear at NY Fashion Week. New styles included leopard print, zebra print, and a wooden casket with sleeves for Tim Gunn.

Kate Gosselin changed her image by getting a new hairstyle which she debuted on "The View." Most people are disappointed. They hoped her new image would be something along the lines of "gone from our lives forever."

A 68-year-old man was honored at McDonald's for 50 years of service. The man said he's one summer away from saving up for that new Ford Fairlane. A coworker then responded, "Like the movie with Andrew Dice Clay?" before getting his award for 20 years of service.

Michael Moore says he may quit making documentaries. As a response, corruption tentatively rose.