Mail It In Section
I'm the best comedy blogger out there. I don't need this blog. I could blow your mind right now with humorous thoughts. Believe that.
How much longer until this is over?
The fish used in McDonald's Filet-O-Fish sandwich is at risk due to overfishing. You know what's not at risk? Me attempting to come up with a good joke for that because I'm not going to overfish for a punchline. Hey-o!
Who wants my top 10 list of other things Joe Wilson contemplated yelling before settling on "You Lie?" Well, too bad. It's a shame, too, because three of them involve dinosaurs. What Who?
Are we done? Can I go home now? More? Fine.
Whitney Houston had her first number one album in 16 years. Does that mean we should throw a Super Sweet birthday party for her drug addiction? Ack! Ack! Ack!
Katherine Heigl is adopting a Korean baby. Expect her to call adoption degrading to women in about 6 months. Did that joke's knees just slide across the rug cause that's a burn!!!
Ellen Degeneres is going to be the 4th judge on American Idol next season. Fox is already installing a mama chair in the Nokia Theater and the Top 24 will get Ellen underwear. Pa-dow!
Done now? Good.
It's on you, Hollywood!
Thanks, Brandon Marshall. You're an inspiration.