Thursday, August 13, 2009

Renaissance Awesome!

When I was little, my parents would take me to the Renaissance Fair. Knights would walk around amongst the people and turkey legs bigger than my head were the snack of choice. From what I remember, it was fun but now, it seems antiquated. With Comic-Con and a whole series of other cons, the Renaissance Fair needs to keep up.
  1. Vampires - They are so hot right now. You can add vampires to anything and people will come running. Heck, that's why I'm planning to open a vampire-themed oil change place named Dracu-Lube. "We want to give you and your car eternal life." So, you put vampires at the Renaissance Fair. The princess drops her handkerchief to the winning jouster, a vampire comes in and bites her neck. The jouster vows revenge to the king. It's glorious.
  2. "Green" It Up - Make the suits of armor out of solar panels. Hook the horses up to a power generator like they do with bicycles. Have the jousters "horse-pool." Put two jousters on one horse and get two jousts done at a time. Go paperless. Scrolls have to be the largest contributer to a Renaissance Fair's carbon footprint. They love them. Have the decreers memorize what would have been on the scrolls. Simples as that. A green Renaissance Fair is far more marketable than the alternative one.
  3. Reality Series - Get a cable network to televise Renaissance Fairs around the country. People will come just to get the chance to be on television. You can even do period-based segments like Cash Carriage or Mace Men. This should be good for at least a season.
  4. Technological Renaissance - There are different ways to interpret a renaissance. Some say we are in the midst of a technological renaissance. Why not go with that? Robo-Knights sound much cooler than regular knights. Instead of plain swords, you get laser swords. When people question the stupidity of a laser sword, tell them their archaic minds could not comprehend the science and to just try and follow along. Finish the Fair off with a Robo-Knight malfunction where the robot sparks and frightens the people back to the cars.
I don't know if you can do all of these things at once. We all know that vampires hate laser swords so you'd have to keep those separate. Regardless, I give any of these the Tor's Take Guarantee of Success.* Good luck to you, Renaissance Fair or should I say, Renaissance Awesome!

*Excludes Vermont, Montana, and Southeast Wyoming.

1 comment:

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