Going To The Movies: Sookie Stackhouse

While it would have been fun to head down the Bon Temps, Louisiana, to take in a movie, I wanted to see something that was made after 1987 and was not on VHS. I sent a letter (no email) to Sookie asking if she wanted to come out to New Jersey and see something new. She jumped at the chance, wanting to get away from all that vampire drama.

We went to see G.I. Joe because I thought some mindless cinema would be just the distraction she needed. After the movie was over, we went to dinner and discussed the film.

Kevin

Thanks for coming on the show, Sookie.

Sookie

My pleasure. 

Kevin

So what did you think of the movie?

Sookie

I thought it was too busy. I liked the main guy, though.

Kevin

Channing Tatum.

Sookie

What was that? You think he's attractive? I would have to agree.

Kevin

I didn't say that.

Sookie

You thought it. It's ok. He is very cute.

(beat, listening)

I guess he could be a good dancer, too. I didn't really see that.

Kevin

Please stop listening to my thoughts. My mind is thinking things I would be embarrassed for you to hear me thinking and they are coming out as my actual thoughts.

Sookie

(shocked)

You have a wife!

Sookie slaps Kevin across the face.

Kevin

See? I didn't mean that.

Sookie

You're disgusting.

Kevin

A man's private thoughts should be just those. This isn't right.

Sookie

Neither is picturing me and the waitress in a two-person horse costume but you're doing that.

Kevin

This interview is over.

Sookie

Are you sure? I think a lot of people would like to know which member of En Vogue you'd like to switch places with.

Kevin

I didn't think anything like that.

Sookie

I know. I'm just messing with you. You need to lighten up. Your thoughts are not that bad. You should hear the things my brother, Jason, thinks.

Kevin

Really?

Sookie

Yup. Now let's finish the interview correctly. I don't want to be like all your other interviews that don't bother talking about the movie.

Kevin

(excited)

How did you - 

(dejected)

Right, I thought it. Would you tell others to see the movie?

Sookie

Absolutely not. I like simple stories. Maybe this sort of thing works for y'all in New Jersey but not in Bon Temps.

Kevin

It doesn't work in New Jersey, either. There was no story to make up for the horrible dialogue. The special effects were overpowering and confusing. I was really disappointed.

Sookie

You secretly liked it.

Kevin

Damn it. Well, that's it for our show. Thanks to Sookie Stackhouse for coming and making my thoughts known to the world. Hope to see you next time on Going To The Movies.