Awful Ways To Improve GI Joe

GI Joe was a terrible movie. I cannot fathom how it could have been worse. In fact, I think if they did any of the following things, it would still have improved my enjoyment of the film:

1. Show little kid hands moving the vehicles.
2. Add a 45 minute clip of my parents having sex.
3. Replace the actors with people dying of cancer.
4. Work the GI angle and make the soldiers constantly use the bathroom.
5. Dressing room montage set to Heidi Montag music.
6. Make Cobra Commander an actual CGI talking cobra that holds on to it's S's too long.
7. Incorporate enough racial slurs to embarrass a KKK Grandmaster.
8. Remove all the parts of the writers' brains and not just the front.*
9. Make it a musical with song titles like "Half The Battle, I Should Have Known."
10. Instead of a fancy ninja costume, dress Snake Eyes like a pair of fuzzy dice.

* Not confirmed that they did, just an assumption on my part.