Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Tor's News Nuggets: 3/4/09

Bill Gates doesn't allow his wife or kids to own iPods or iPhones because they are made by competitors. This is pretty selfish but not as bad as when Sam Breakstone refused to let his family eat anything but sour cream and cream cheese. The Breakstones lasted seventeen days.

A man in the Netherlands has set up an answering machine for God. When you call, the machine picks up and says, "Hi, this is God. I'm not in right now. Yes, I understand that spits in the face of the whole omnipresent thing. Can't you just give a deity a break? I get so tired of having to (BEEP)"

At Liverpool Hope University, you can now earn a degree in The Beatles. This is a huge first step towards making my PhD in Veruca Salt a reality. My dissertation will be on the lasting effects of those who fought the seether.

A CNN article pondered the idea of using "green" bullets while hunting because they don't contain lead and are more environmentally friendly. Though I think if you ask any member of the wild game community, they would prefer "no" bullets. Too bad they can't speak.


Evanjm02 said...

You may be the first non-angsty-15-year-old girl to post about Veruca Salt.

Jen said...

No shit. "Bullets" and "environmentally friendly" don't belong in the same sentence.

Kind of like "Kevin Tor" and "Veruca Salt."

kayce. said...

i wonder if the whole bill gates thing has more to do w/ his stockholders than his bright, burning ember of jealousy? thoughts?

Mo Diggs said...

Volcano Girls And Late Capitalism