Monday, March 9, 2009

Tor's Product Review: Frickin' Scary M&M Babies

Wouldn't it be cute if they sold onesies for babies with the m&m characters on them? No? Well, what if that onesie had a matching knit hat with a hilarious m&m-related phrase on it? Still no, huh? Ok, what if it wasn't an outfit an actual kid could wear but a 6 inch doll? You want me to stop? Last try. What if that 6 inch doll had the face of a baby that upon seeing it delivered, the doctor pushed it back into the mother, then cut out his own eyes, and repeatedly yelled, "There is no god!" before diving out the fourth floor window? I'll take that hesitation as a solid maybe and introduce you to this wonderful collection from Heavenly Handfuls.

For $29.99 plus shipping and handling, you can own one of these hideous keepsakes. That's right! Only ONE! It will cost you over 30 bucks to get this thing that looks like a cross between an old man and a glowworm, especially if that geezer larva had soulless eyes. Don't like having your friends over all the time and then cleaning up after them? Half a foot of pure vinyl evil can be displayed prominently on a mantle to keep them from ever returning to your home again. Guaranteed! You can't put a price on that and, if you did, it would be more than this. Probably.

Why are you still looking at my blog? Buy them now!

19 comments:

jim said...

Ok !! I'll take two !! One red and one yellow. LOL !

Russell Pirkle said...

are those M&M sayings or Wicked Witch sayings?

Franke said...

There *is* a god. A wrathful god.

Jennifer said...

These things give me the night terrors.

Jennifer said...

Yeah, you know that scene in "The Fly?" Where Gena Davis births a squirming larvae thing and you can hear the gushing, birthing, squirming SOUNDS and the doctor is holding this writhing pupae-larvae THING, and everyone starts screaming and recoiling in horror??

Yeah, these things are worse.

lisa said...

my grandma bought my 18 month old twins girls one each for xmas. everyone that has seen them (including me) thinks they are creepy as all get out (and i always feel the need to explain that I did not buy them!). the box says they are not for play--for display only. who would want these sitting on a shelf somewhere?! a masochist who is also afraid of clowns? i handed them over to my girls--who love them (go figure) and told them to go ahead and beat them the hell up until i have a good reason to rid of them properly without guilt. (sorry, Nana)

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Anonymous said...

I don't think it's creepy I have one and it's smaller then my hand how can something so small be creepy