Monday, January 5, 2009

I Miss My 20s

I really enjoyed the casual nature of my blog on my birthday so I think I'm going to incorporate that into my blogging repertoire. Being 30 has not been fun. For those of you following along, I went to the doctor for multiple hours on my birthday. I went because I was having trouble walking. The diagnosis was to stay off of the foot for a bit and definitely no snowboarding in Vermont (the location my wife and I were off to for New Year's).

Vermont was going to be interesting because the family we were staying with allowed us to bring our two dogs, let's call them Jerkface and Girl Jerkface. Upon arrival, Girl Jerkface was attacked by another dog that was staying there and Jerkface pooped in the house on the top floor and the bottom floor. Then, Jerkface decided to do it again the next morning. I'm not sure how I feel about this advanced form of territory marking. Peeing now seems adorable. Girl Jerkface was too traumatized after the initial attack that she stayed by my feet the entire time. Finally, since the dogs wouldn't sleep at night in the foreign house and kept my wife and I up, we came home early. Thanks, dogs. I didn't want to sit on a couch by a fire and play board games with people I enjoy spending time with.

Saturday morning, I woke up feeling a little off. I walked The Siblings Jerkface and fed them. What followed had to be food poisoning because I lost a good amount of weight all day Saturday and we'll leave the description at that. Yesterday, I gave food a try and seem to be back on track. I might eat twice today. 

I've read about people in their 30s that go whole days without being angry or sick. I'm trying to stay positive that I will experience such a thing.


Joe said...

you're 30? Ohh shit, your life is over

JPB said...

"Jerkface" and "Girl Jerkface??" LOL! Most of the time I call my dog "My Big Furry Boyfriend." Yes, I say it in that annoying baby-talk voice. Because he is not only my "Big Furry Boyfriend," but also my "Baby Dogger Fluffer Nugget."

If, however, he eats an entire bathroom trashcan full of used tampons and has to spend the weekend at Emergency Vet Hospital, for a grand total of ALMOST A THOUSAND DOLLARS, I then refer to him as, "Big Dummy."

note: The award for vet-tech dude with the most heinous job in the history of history goes to the guy who answered the phone at 5am:

ME: Hi, I'm calling to check on my dog, Potter? He's the one who um...ate tampons?

VTD: Right. At 3:30am this morning, he defecated and there were two tampons in it. We're waiting to see if he passes the rest."

ME: Oh, good! I mean, I'm so sorry! Boy, it sucks to be you, huh? Ha-ha. was a heavy flow day...I'm so sorry. Ha-ha.

JPB said...

PS Happy Belated Birthday!