Monday, January 12, 2009

Live Blogging My Mom's Gall Bladder Surgery

Is this wrong? Maybe. But I need something to do while I'm waiting for it to be over. I plan on heading over so I'm there when she wakes up as a surprise. Don't tell her, though. Who's a good son? This guy, most times.

The live blogging will take place over at my twitter. Feel free to follow it. If you are on Facebook, I've set up Twitter using magic and elbow grease to update the Facebook status automatically. The updates could be very interesting if they let me in the operating room. I plan on removing the offending gall bladder myself after the surgeons get her open. The gall bladder is somewhere in the butterfly/ice cream cone/slice of bread area which is low on the tweezer removal difficulty scale so I think they won't mind.

However, if they don't let me in the O.R., I will be in the waiting room with my dad eating a hospital grilled cheese and talking about the Giants losing.

7:45 - I spoke to her on the phone and she's in good spirits. I told her to try to remember what number she gets to when they tell her to count down. The furthest I've ever gotten is 95.

8:24 - Just watched some Nip/Tuck in preperation. I'm ready to say "15 blade" and "suction" a lot.

10:05 - Side note: Weighed myself today and I've lost 5 pounds in the last month. Go go rebellious metabolism! You're not acting 30!

10:36 - I've seen enough House to not want to deal with an hour of terminal misdiagnoses before she just needs beta blockers and an altoid.

11:30 - Just got to hospital. I hope they take out the left gall bladder. I think you use the right one more.

11:40 - Part of me hopes she shares a room with Jack Nicholson because she would have a blast making lists and seeing the world.

12:00 - Reading the Nov 08 issue of O. Dr. Oz has a quiz for me. I hope to leave this hospital with my inside beauty on the outside.

12:15 - The surgery begins. A break from joking around to think a good thought.

12:25 - If this were the red carpet at the golden globes, my mom would land on the worst dressed list for her gown. Too soon?

1:00 - Having my hospital grilled cheese. Nice. Saw mom before she went in. She seems to have made peace with her gall bladder. It's time.

2:05 - I can't stop thinking about the SNL doogie digital short. That was so good. It needs to be on hulu stat.

2:40 - Surgical waiting rooms are real bummers. I am not having an enjoyable time. This is nothing like the brochures.

3:18 - She is done. The gall bladder is out but it escaped. They are putting my mom in protective custody until the organ is captured.

3:45 - The gall bladder took down two hospital security guards before it was run over by an old patient walking with an I.V. cart.

4:09 - Hospitals should have a happy hour. The patients aren't the only ones that need to get loopy.

7:52 - Home from the hospital. Dogs are fed. Mom is well and potentially going home. It was a good day. Thanks for reading.


Francesco Marciuliano said...

Hope everything goes perfectly!

JPB said...

Hope your Mom is passing gas and keeping clear liquids down. Hey, I'm an RN, it's all I knows.

She may not feel like it, but getting up and moving around is the best thing she can do. Not like, moving a piano or juggling bowling balls...but you know, walking and "coughing and deep-breathing"(as we like to say in post-op land).

Wishing y'all well.

Kevin Tor said...

Thanks, JPB! She is doing fine. She had to do the usual (don't feel like writing it) before she can go home. She should be getting out soon if all goes well.