Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Cure For The Common Cold

As I sit at my computer not feeling well, I came up with a potential cure for the common cold. I've got nothing better to do and I'd really like to get rid of it. I have to murder Common.

Yup, it's time to take down the Grammy-winning musician and respected actor. I think it's like vampirism. If you kill the original vampire, it returns you back to your non-vampire state. If I'm wrong, I'm no worse off than I was before. I'll still be sick. So how do you kill Common? Silver bullets? I think that's what they hit 50 Cent with and he didn't go down. And Common has been around longer than 50. Wooden stake to the heart? I'm not strong enough to carve a wooden stake right now. Can you buy one?

I'm going to come up with something because this cold may go away but that doesn't mean it can't happen again. And what of my future children? How can I look them in the eyes when they're sick knowing I had the chance to save them from those sniffles? I'm coming for you Common! I'm coming because of little Kevin Junior and adorable little Kevina. I'm coming for all of us.

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