It's what can only be described as the scariest game of Cowboys and Indians ever.Seriously, though. China is training lions to ride horses. We're over here floundering under a vengeful economy and China is making the following happen:
What does China gain by making a faster animal ride a slower animal? If anything, the horse should be riding the lion but I guess that would be ridiculous, wouldn't it? What's your angle, China? This can't be for war purposes because we don't fight many horse-based battles anymore. Is this a natural progression? You have to learn how to ride a horse before you can drive a tank? How many tank-driving lions do you have, China? How many? Six? Seven?
Unless, they have a time machine and are planning to take these horse-riding lions back in time. They can rewrite history and become the most powerful nation in the world. We've all thought it, haven't we? What if Custer had a lion at Little Bighorn? What if a lion crossed the Delaware? What if a lion replaced Paul Walker in the movie "Timeline?" Where would we be? I'll tell you where. We'd be living on Easy Street wondering why we waited through two "Fast and the Furious" movies to replace Paul Walker with a lion. But no. China's going to get there first and we're going to be forced to watch Chris Tucker and a lion fight their way through three Rush Hours. Hey, lion, do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? You just might. You just might.