Going To The Movies: Dwight Schrute

Last night, I had the (let's go with) pleasure of going to the movies with Dwight Schrute of The Office fame. Actually, we didn't go to the movies. We attempted to see a sneak preview of Changeling.

Kevin

Dwight, thanks for being on the show.

Dwight Schrute

Thank you for having me.

Kevin

I guess we should talk about why you dragged me out of the theater halfway through the movie, brought me to the barn at your beet farm, and made me watch your cousin Mose perform your interpretation of what the movie should have been.

Dwight Schrute

I don't know what Clint Eastwood was thinking but his movie was not realistic.

Kevin

It's based on true events.

Dwight Schrute

I doubt it. That replacement boy was not the child of an elf, a fairy, or a troll.

Kevin

What?

Dwight Schrute

A changeling is the offspring of a fairy, troll, elf, or other legendary creature that has been secretly left in the place of a human child.

Kevin

Did you get that off Wikipedia?

Dwight Schrute

I made the entry.

Kevin

So Mose was playing one of those changelings.

Dwight Schrute

No. Were you even paying attention?

Kevin

Apparently not.

Dwight Schrute

Mose was a shapeshifter from the planet Ogdorp Six. He vaporized each person that got in his way with his Guante del Muerte and then assumed their form until everyone on Earth was eliminated.

Kevin

I did not get that at all. All I saw was Mose running around in a large dress for most of the four and half hours.

Dwight Schrute

He likes to incorporate mother's dress into most of his performances. It's a Mose signature.

 

Kevin

I'll keep an eye out for that.

Dwight Schrute

You should see his Mystic River. Pedophiles don't stand a chance against an omnipotent and vengeful body of water.

Kevin

I'm sure they don't.

(beat)

Well, that's our time. As usual, the movie discussion was light. From what I saw, Angelina Jolie was really good but I'll have to go back to the movies to see how it ended. Thanks to Dwight Schrute and Mose for an enlightening experience. Would you like to add anything, Dwight?

Dwight Schrute

Come out to Schrute Farms. Bring your family for a day of beet-related agrotourism fun. If you've never been to a beet farm in the fall, you are missing out. You can eat them right out of the ground. Mention this show and get four percent off your stay.

Kevin

Sounds great. Tune in next time. We don't have a guest booked yet and I can sort of understand why.