Tor's News Nuggets: 10/26/09

These are last week's rejections from iLarious (a fantastic iPhone app you should own).

A Cleveland museum has found out that a lock of hair long thought to belong to Amelia Earhart is really just a piece of thread. No worries. The resilient museum has relabeled it "Authentic Lilliputian Rope Used To Restrain Gulliver."

A Cleveland museum has found out that a lock of hair long thought to belong to Amelia Earhart is really just a piece of thread. The museum is now concerned about the validity of the main hall's Electra plane with Earhart's skeleton in it.

Megan Fox said that, even though she is bisexual, the kissing scenes for "Jennifer's Body" gave her trouble. She also said that she loves getting her T-shirt wet but she's having trouble with this nearby hose and then pouted invitingly.

The Octomom, Nadya Suleman, told Radar Online that she thinks Jon Gosselin is "hot." Tune in next week for a special episode of "Awful and Way Too Fertile Wife Swap."

Halloween stores everywhere are reporting that Kate Gosselin wigs are selling out. Halloween 2009 - "The Worst Night of Jon's Life."

A recent report says that Bernie Madoff is eating prison pizza that was made by a child molester. Madoff likes the pizza but he doesn't like that he has to receive it while wearing a sailor suit and holding a lolly.

A high school in Chicago has 115 students that are pregnant or already have kids. Interestingly enough, the school has 115 less male students than it did before.

MSNBC's Contessa Brewer accidentally introduced Jesse Jackson as Al Sharpton. She apologized and said that some of her best friends are reverends.

The Sesame Street theme song was played during the interrogation and torture of Gitmo detainees. It always preceded the lesson of "One of these testicles will not be like the other."

A 19-year-old became the youngest ever winner of the Monopoly World Championships. Unfortunately, he was 12 when the match started.

Ashlee Simpson has been axed from the show, Melrose Place. "That's a decent start," said everyone on the planet.

On his radio show, Howard Stern furiously called out Jay Leno for allegedly stealing sketch ideas and using them on his talk shows. "I would never steal from him," said Leno who took a break from filming a new bit about a superhero that passes gas.