American Idol - Finale (Part 2)

Well, this is it. The last American Idol blog for 2009. It's been a good run and I can't believe I stayed with it throughout. That last part was more in regards to the whole finale than the season. Even fast forwarding the commercials, it lasted a good six days. I missed four BBQs. It was a great season and a crazy ending. Sometimes life smacks you across the face with a hand made of money. It wakes you up and is upsetting until you realize you get to keep the hand. Move on? Sure.

The Idols - So What? - The white clothes are brutal. They look like they are starring in a Hip Hop video in the Arctic but they sound like Kidz Bop. Can I get this with a happy meal at McDonald's? The following is not from last night's finale:

David Cook - "Permanent" - He's singing a song without actual words. It's just warbling. It's nice.

Lil Rounds & Queen Latifah - "Cue The Rain" - Lil's wig is the best one yet and Queen Latifah forgot the other half of her jacket. The performance is awkward but that's just because the song is awful and they are struggling to remember their choreography. Twirl your finger by your temple when you get to the word "insane!" Both of you! What is this, Amateur Hour???

Anoop Desai, Alexis Grace, & Jason Mraz - "I'm Yours" - Anoop starts it off nice. He can really sing (Thanks, Randy). Too bad the judges wanted nothing to do with him. Alexis, dressed like her favorite pirate lass, should not be paired with this song. Her voice doesn't fit it. Jason Mraz is wonderful, like Kris Allen. Anoop, Alexis, and Jason sound fine together and then...the rest of the gang joins to ruin everything. Nice job, ruiners. 

Kris Allen & Keith Urban - "Kiss A Girl" - It's interesting that Kris gets Keith Urban and one song and Adam gets a giant KISS medley but I'm getting ahead of myself. Kris seems to be having a good time and that's all that matters. Just go out there and have fun. It doesn't matter who wins. Though, at times, it feels like a hockey game where the ice is tilted 75 degrees towards Kris' goal. Kris has to swing with all his little arms have to make it to Adam's goal.

The Girls & Fergie - "Glamorous" & "Big Girls Don't Cry" - I used to like Spiggles, right? Do you think they tell Spiggles not to sing directly into the mic unless it's her solo? Fergie sounds pretty terrible too and I love her. Why are they ruining "Big Girls Don't Cry?" It's my anthem.

Black Eyed Peas - "Boom Boom Boom" -  There are weird faceless zebra people in the background dancing. Their combined movements make you feel like you're in an Escher drawing. I'm bothered so much. I bet Simon's enjoying this. This is his jam. He probably throws in an extra boom when he's "managing" his sexy violin quartet, Escala. Hot violinists: They're real and they're spectacular!

Kara & Bikini Girl - "Vision of Love" - Bikini Girl, in bikini, begins the song with all the passion of Kristin Wiig as the Girl A-Hole (see below). Kara joins her on stage and outsings her easily. Kara has a good voice amongst all the crazy and idiocy. At the end, she throws open her dress to reveal her own bikini. She looked good.

Allison Iraheta & Cindy Lauper - "Time After Time" - Is this fair to Anoop? He sang such a beautiful version of "True Colors." I guess Anoop got all he deserved (2 lines at the beginning of "I'm Yours"). Lauper rocked the slide guitar while sitting like a man. Nice. Why was this song picked for Allison? I bet Michael Slezak is disappointed at EW. It was actually pretty good but I wanted Rocker Allison, not Tender Allison.

Danny Gokey & Lionel Richie - "Hello" & "Just Go" & "All Night Long" - A good pick for Danny with "Hello." Did anyone else notice that he sang the Lionel Richie part on "Just Go" because he was so excited to be up there? It's a nice moment for Danny. Lionel Richie looks great, too. Sometimes older people come on Idol and look terrible (See Disco Week). 

Adam Lambert & KISS - "Beth" & "Get Up Everybody" & "Rock and Roll All Night" - It's very good. This fits him like a glove. Is he going to make an album of Queen, Kiss, and Led Zeppelin-like music? Can he make an album with Jack White? Adam ruled this finale.

Matt Giraud & Carlos Santana - "Black Magic Woman" & "Smooth" - My wife asked me why Matt was wearing a Michael Jackson jacket. Because they didn't want to make him always look like Justin Timberlake. I thought the answer should make as much sense as the jacket. All the singers join in for "Smooth" and...mess everything up. Do you notice a trend? Is this what the Idol tour is like? Oof.

Megan Joy, Michael Sarver, & Steve Martin - "Pretty Flowers" - Let's do this like Simon for old time's sake. Megan won this round by a clear mile. A million percent better. Michael, it was ok, but Megan was better. I think you're in trouble. Sorry.

The Guys - "If You Think I'm Sexy" - Please stop.

Rod Stewart - "Maggie May" - The opposite of what I was saying about Lionel Richie. The older he gets, the more he looks like Hillary Clinton. Almost trumped Lil Rounds and Smokey Robinson for creepiest performance of the season. Almost.

Adam Lambert & Kris Allen & Queen - "We Are The Champions" - Adam sounded great the whole way. Kris sounded good when there was no heavy music behind him. When there was, I think they turned his mic off because I only heard Adam. They were joined by what I was hoping was the cast of Glee but I was wrong. It ended with some nice hugs between the two finalists. 

AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 8 WINNER - Kris Allen

Final Thoughts - I hope Kris gets to make the album he wants. David Cook seemed to so there could be hope. Adam has a ridiculous voice and he'll do fine. I don't know if I'll buy his album but I'll go see him on Broadway. My favorite has won 2 years in a row now. My brain is getting too mainstream. Congratulations to all the Idol contestants (except Jorge). I'm looking forward to albums from Anoop Desai, Allison Iraheta, Matt Giraud, Alexis Grace, and Jesse Langseth. Maybe Ricky Braddy. Farewell to Idol until 2010. Thanks for reading.

American Idol - Top 4 (Part 2)

Dear Allison,

You will be missed. You won me over with your "Alone" performance in Top 36 Week. I remember thinking it was going to be a disaster and then you rocked it. Your red hair was reminiscent of the head wrap on the Mumm-Ra action figure from my youth but probably more plastic.

See?

You gave amazing performance after amazing performance and you deserved better than 4th place. Then again, some great people finished 4th in the past (Chris Daughtry, Tamyra Gray, Jason Castro). Like you, they were all beloved and a shocking exit. 

Now, it's time you learn something from this. Never stick up for yourself. You held back every week amidst the ridiculously unfounded judges' comments and you advanced. Then you had enough of Simon, Kara, and Randy's nitpicking and you spoke up. Dumb. As Ryan reminds us every week, "THIS...is A-MER-ican Idol." You don't talk back to the judges. You don't try to take away a spot from the pre-chosen finalists (Adam and Danny). And you don't get credit for being original because you are a woman. But you're 17. Much too young to know this. 

So good luck to you. Hopefully, you'll put out an album. I'll buy it.

Sincerely,

Someone you don't know

Final Thoughts: This was an awful week on American Idol. Allison was called a soundalike for her Janis Joplin performance while Adam was called an original rock god for his copy of a Led Zeppelin song. Adam sounded great but he got too much credit this week. Still, he has grown on me and I'm fine with him in the Top 3. Danny was awful. The worst performance by a Top 4 Idol ever. It's wrong that he's still around. Unfortunately, this is what the judges wanted at this point. Allison should have pulled a Tom Hanks in "Saving Private Ryan" and pulled Danny's plaid shirt yelling "Earn this!" It's wrong that so many Idols had to die for Danny to be in the Top 3. See you next week when Kris is voted off. I'd say not to bother with the performances but I want to see him do 2 more songs.

American Idol - Top 4 (Part 1)

Rock Week brought Slash as the Idol Mentor. Slash was very cool. He cooled his way through the whole mentoring process. I think he really brought a level of cool out of the performers tonight. I know the editors cut it up so we don't see everything but I think I could have done that job. The only thing he did was intimidate some of them. I could have held a gun and told them to sing next to me and gotten the same effect. I may be wrong but look at the performances. Last week's mentor was great and the show was one of the best ever. This week's was unhelpful and it was my least favorite of the season.

Adam Lambert - "Whole Lotta Love" - This is the music I'm thinking he should be making. It was shouty but so was Zeppelin. Overall, it was good but what was with the outfit? It was like the outfit Michael Jackson would wear if he was asked to be in one of the Blade movies. 

Allison Iraheta - "Cry Baby" - She went to Adam's hair girl? This wouldn't be disturbing if she didn't say that Adam's been going to her for 2 years. Am I going about show biz all wrong? Should I have assistants even when I'm nobody? It's like dressing for the job you want. I should be entouraging for the fame status I want. Anyway, I actually thought Allison was ok. She sounded great. Simon gave her some trouble and she snapped back at him which I think is what he was going for, the little puppet master.

Kris Allen & Danny Gokey - "Renegade" - I don't even know what happened here. I guess the producers came up with the idea to do a couple of duets this week. This one was uncomfortable. Kris and Danny don't have powerful rock voices. They tried but it just made them sound bad and provided no momentum with the judges (or me) for the solos. 

Kris Allen - "Come Together" - I'm going to do a Randy on this. When I heard Kris was doing "Come Together," I was like, "Oh, man. I don't know." But you know what? He worked it out. Not really. It was fine but I think that was because I'm a huge Kris fan. I have a feeling it wasn't very good at all. I was hoping he would reverse David Cook it. Take a heavy song and lighten it up. Any rock song would have sounded so cool slowed down like he can do. I was disappointed in Kris and I hope it's not the end of him.

Danny Gokey - "Dream On" - Oof. That last note might be the thing that saves Kris from elimination. That was putrid. It was like somebody asked him to do his best cicada impression. Oof. Danny seems full of himself. I fought it off because I liked him so much in the beginning of the show but he was awful tonight. Steven Tyler? He thinks he can sing like Steven Tyler?!? It would be one thing to sing the song and make it your own. He tried. To sing it. Like Steven Tyler?!? He will be in the Bottom 3.

Allison Iraheta & Adam Lambert - "Slow Ride" -   It was really good. I'm thankful the producers put these two together and didn't split them to embarrass Kris and Danny. Adam was in control. He didn't overdo it and Allison brought the power vocals. (I notice the more I watch American Idol, the more I use terms like "power vocals" and "pipes" when I have no business using them. American Idol brings out my inner record promoter.)

Bottom Three: I think Adam will be the safe one this week. He was the best of the four by an unfortunately large amount. That leaves Allison, Kris, and Danny as the Bottom 3. Allison should be fine because she was not beat up by the judges as much. So that leaves Kris or Danny going home. Kris is more talented but Danny has never been in the Bottom 3. Can you go from season-long safe straight to home? I hope so but I doubt it. Cicada Man stays and my favorite leaves.

Going Home: Kris Allen

American Idol - Top 5 (Part 2)

The results came in and WOW. Talk about being wrong. I wasn't even close tonight and I'm glad about it but we'll get to that in a second. First, I'm glad to see the Idols singing the medley instead of lip synching. When they all have careers on Broadway, they are going to have to sing and move around as a group. It's just good practice. 

Natalie Cole looks more and more like her father every day. Not the way he used to look. The way he looks now. (EDIT: I'm leaving this in to show what a jerk I am but Natalie Cole is in need of a kidney transplant and is on dialysis 3 times a week. I'm awful.) Taylor Hicks played something really quickly and muted based on how I watched it. And Jamie Foxx auto-tuned away his genuinely good singing voice. It was a poor night for superstar guests. 

One more thing: Did Simon make me like him again with his praise for Danny and Allison and his other comments at the end? I think he did. I can never stay mad at you, Cowell.

BOTTOM 3:

Kris Allen - Kris does not belong here. I was definitely surprised but he was the first one sent back to the safety couch. Guess that iTunes leak wasn't a good gauge for the public's voting. If you can't trust that, what can you trust? Now, I know how Jack Bauer feels. I'm still going to download Kris' performance off Tony Almeida - I mean, iTunes.

Adam Lambert - This was the biggest shock since the flash forward episode of "Lost." My jaw dropped as much as Kara's. Should I wait for Randy and Simon's immature gigglefest or continue with my blog? I'll continue. I cannot believe he was in the Bottom 2. This brought me joy. I know there are huge Adam Lambert fans and he can truly sing but I'm so glad. An American Idol should be a genuine performer not an actor that can sing. Good job, America. This is pure payback for picking sides in the "Which group do you think you belong in?" crap they do every season.

Matt Giraud - He was the one that should have gone home this week. He was so elusive though. He was turning American Idol in "Final Destination 5." (I can't believe there are four of them, either.) He made it really far and he gave a great performance but the other Idols were simply better than him.

Final Thought: Danny and Allison? I'm so happy for Allison but I am definitely confused by what happened. In all fairness, when my mom asked me who the best ones were this week, I said Danny and Allison. It's just surprising that this happened. Does this mean that supposed frontrunner Adam will be making a Chris Daughtry-like fourth place exit? Can Kris overcome Danny for the Finals? Did I just put Allison in the driver's seat? Well she is 17 now. See you next week.

American Idol - Top 5 (Part 1)

It's Rat Pack Week. The host for Rat Pack Week...Jamie Foxx. I was confused by this but I will never doubt Jamie Foxx again. How can you? Look at all he's accomplished. After watching him with the Idols, I felt like I could do anything with Jamie Foxx at my side. Is he rentable?

Kris Allen - "The Way You Look Tonight" - It was so beautiful. Like him. I said it. He's a beautiful person. You wanna fight? A recent leak on iTunes showed he's the second-most downloaded Idol (after Adam). How can he not be in the finals? Except Simon, the judges loved him tonight. Why does Simon hate him so much? He doesn't think he can win the competition? He's the only guy who's album I would buy. Jamie Foxx agrees.

Allison Iraheta - "Someone To Watch Over Me" - Ever since I read that she adds an 'H' in front of some words in her phrasing, it's glaring. "Someone to hwatch over meeeee." It's like when Stewie does the Kool HWhip thing on Family Guy. 

But she still sings amazingly. I just wish I had never had that pointed out. The judges liked it but that doesn't seem to matter. While Paula has been tremendously better this year, she is still awkward. I figured out what it was. Paula has an multi-syllable-adjective-a-day calendar. Alluring? Stellar? I'm on to you, Abdul.

Matt Giraud - "My Funny Valentine" - Jaime Foxx fixed him! Wow. He snuck in a falsetto at the end but it was fine. This was probably my favorite Matt performance since "Georgia." I didn't know he could sing that well. It makes me question what else I don't know about the world. Should I be eating beets? Is it time to start reading the Twilight books? Do my dogs need more attention? Jamie Foxx, thank you. Because of this, I will see "The Soloist"...on DVD.

Danny Gokey - "Come Rain Or Come Shine" - This week is ridiculously good. I said that Danny needed a magical performance in last week's blog and he went for it. The end was arranged differently and I really liked it. Though Danny usually tends to leave you thinking a performance was better than it was by blowing out the ending with huge singing. However, this time I believe it was a good performance. Also, I think that hand gesture during the phone numbers was supposed to be a heart but it looked like a bean. Do a better heart, Danny.

Adam Lambert - "Feelin' Good" - Hair down. Didn't like it. The trend continues. It was over the top. The arrangement was rough. It was so theatrical like always. And then for Simon to say that theatrical is fine because that's who he is. How do all the awesome theatrical singers of Idol past feel about that statement? I'm done with Simon. He's wet. He's indulgent. He needs to leave the show or start critiquing the actual performance on stage and not giving a prepared response leading to a predetermined Finals of Adam and Danny! Where am I? 

Bottom Three: This is tough because you have to put people that you like in the Bottom 3. I predict Allison, Matt, and Danny. I really think Kris is more popular than Danny even though he has one of those living wives. Matt isn't one of the top two popular people and neither is Allison (she wasn't even top four last week). As much as I hate to do it, I think it is time for Allison to take her red hair and go. We get one more week of the Mole Man. I hope I'm wrong. I hope I'm so wrong.

Going Home: Allison Iraheta 

American Idol - Top 7 (Part 4)

Disco week is over and we're down to the Final Five. Hopefully with this Final Five, the last one standing won't be a ridiculous letdown (Thanks Battlestar Galactica). Anyway, my wife made me fast forward through the washed-up disco superstars of the past. After going back, I can't blame her. They moved so carefully, it felt like the Hall of Presidents in Disney World. I had bad dreams of an animatronic KC attacking me because I refused to get down on the specific night he asked me to. Also, I can't take David Archuleta. He's always out of breath and smiling. How does he do a whole concert if he can't perform one song without being winded? Is he still using his baby lungs? When do those fall out so he can breathe like a grownup?

BOTTOM 3:

Allison Iraheta - I'm praying this position is merely a result of Matt getting saved by the judges and everyone rallying behind him. She should not leave until the Top 3. It's time for America to start thinking about albums. Are you going to buy a Danny or a Matt album? Now answer the question imagining the physical album is in front of you. (That was my "A Time To Kill" moment.)

Lil Rounds - Everyone knew she was going home so they didn't waste any time. She was gone before any guest performances. If she didn't come back out at the end to hug Anoop, I would have sworn Idol had security escort her out. I've never seen an early favorite flounder this badly in 8 seasons of Idol.

Anoop Desai - He's a better singer than Matt. This is a singing competition. Anoop had almost as many chances as Matt throughout the season. (I forgot that they made it a Top 13 for Anoop.) He wasn't going to win but I was pulling for a Top 5 for him. On a side note, he's the second Idol to be booted for singing a song about making the room darker ("Dim All The Lights"). Megan "Spiggles" Joy sang "Turn Your Lights Down Low" on her last week. Is there something to that? The remaining five should stay away from Nelly Furtado's "Turn Off The Light" just to be safe.

Final Thought: Danny needs to do something other than just sing a song next week. I think he can pull off an acapella version of something beautifully. If he keeps his vocals tender, he can put himself back in the Finals discussion. As for Allison, there isn't much she can do. Even a "brilliant" from Simon got her nowhere. She's in trouble. Next week's Bottom 3 is going to be crazy. Adam, Danny, and Kris have never been and one of them has to go according to my superior mathematics skills (each remaining Idol is a finger on my hand). Who will join Matt and Allison in the Bottom 3? I guess we'll have to wait for the performances.

American Idol - Top 7 (Part 3)

It should be the Top 6 but they saved Matt Giraud last week so we have 7 again. However, two will go home this week and all will be well again. Was it me or did Ryan mail in the "THIS is A-MER-ican Idol?" There should be a good ten second pause between "THIS" and "is." Disappointing. It's disco week and I expected awful. Did I get it?

Lil Rounds - "I'm Every Woman" - She finally gave the judges what they wanted in song choice and it still didn't work for her. I hate when I agree with Randy because it means I may have had a stroke or regressed back to the age of 15 months. Regardless, I did feel this was all over the place and simply not good. She tried to put too much Lil into it without having a plan. If there was an upside, this was her best wig. Hands down.

Kris Allen - "She Works Hard For The Money" - It was so good. He's back (as he should be) in the "Who's going to be in the finals with Adam?" talk. The judges tried to ruin Kris' chances again by babbling like children but at least they ended on praise. I can't wait for his album.

Danny Gokey - "September" - He has not been that great for a couple of weeks now. This was a little boring for an upbeat song. I agree with Simon that he doesn't seem to have a special moment in him. He comes out and sings a song well and that's it. I'm running out of love for the Gokes.

Allison Iraheta - "Hot Stuff" - She rocked out Hot Stuff. I agree that it was a weird arrangement but she stayed true to herself. Oh no. Did I just say that? It wasn't karaoke or pitchy. What's happening? For her, for me, that wouldn't have happened on a cruise ship or in a hotel lobby. Make it stop. It was authentic Allison. She knows who she is as an artist. Mommy. Give that girl a phonebook. I have to go.

Adam Lambert - "If I Can't Have You" - His hair was in "Kevin's going to enjoy this one" mode. It's like Robin Williams' beard and an Oscar nomination. It just happens. It was really good. True to his hair. Kara said he looks like a cross between the guy from Saturday Night Live and Clark Kent. Some people are going to get on her because they think she meant Saturday Night Fever but I see it. There's some Chris Kattan in there. I'm with you Kara.

Matt Giraud - "Stayin' Alive" - I'll take a cue and do this Simon-style. "No, he's not." He tried really hard again. When he goes into a falsetto, it hurts my head. It has been good to see him go from cocky in the auditions to giving it his all each week. I still think he's going home with Lil but he deserves to go home second.

Anoop Desai - "Dim All The Lights" - The stylists really got him ready to try out for a Wham tribute band. That or he needs to catch that time machine if he wants to make his audition for Miami Vice. Hurry, Anoop! He can sing and Top 5 is nothing to be ashamed of.

Bottom Three: I'm feeling Lil, Matt, and Anoop. Anoop has been in the bottom three the last few weeks and with there not being many weeks left, that should change. To be fair, Anoop is not far behind Danny but I still think Danny is better. Though, if Anoop does well next week and Danny continues his decline, anything can happen. Remember Chris Daughtry? There's not much left to say about Lil and Matt. I said it all last week. Time to go home.

Going Home: Lil Rounds and Matt Giraud

American Idol - Top 7 (Part 1)

It's Songs From The Movies Week with mentor Quentin Tarentino. The guy can direct anything. His suggestions for the singers were so perfect each time tonight. I know he's a little off in terms of public comportment but he does know how to make something better. This night was a large improvement over last week and it was not as easy to pick an actual Bottom 3 (I can pick a voted Bottom 3 but for bad singing, not easy). Only 2 judges get to talk this week because of last week's gigantic overrun (and they still went over).

Allison Iraheta - "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" - Odd arrangement of it. Not the music but the words she got to sing. It seemed to skip around. Kind of like she took all of the lyrics and threw them at the wall and sang the 30 closest to her. Anyway, it was really good as usual and Simon finally liked it without saying an unnecessary vote-draining insult (awful clothes/not likable).

Anoop Desai - "Everything I Do, I Do It For You" - I hate this song so much. It was so overplayed when it came out and then it became a love song cliche like anything off the Bodyguard soundtrack. But I liked it tonight which is a testament to Anoop. He sang it really well. Too bad there isn't room left in the competition for him. The judges (Kara and Randy) liked it and Simon was angry he didn't get to say anything.

Adam Lambert - "Born To Be Wild" - I did not enjoy his prance out onto the stage to start the song. It was awful. I hate when they say he is the real deal. Everything is so calculated. It's a performance from the moment the song starts. Here's how I picture Adam's preparation: "When I was in Tommy, I got a lot of good reviews for this fist pump I did so I thought I would give it a shot here." I may be old fashioned but a fist pump should come from the soul and not some predetermined plan. Rocking should not be choreographed.

Matt Giraud - "Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman" - Big night for Bryan Adams. Is this Canadian Idol? I kid. I feel like a broken record but it started out good (just like "Let's Get It On" and "Part Time Lover"). Then it got not so good and then ugly. I would have preferred it to just be him at the piano instead of the whole band and the background singers. Anyway, I still think he's back next week. 

Danny Gokey - "Endless Love" - No glasses. Is that allowed? Quentin took away his hands too. Danny does tend to use his hand to "knit" through the lyrics. It's a knitting motion. Anyway, this was Stripped-Down Danny. Paula thought the beginning was not so good. Simon thought it was boring. I have to agree. I like Danny and he can sing but he is not the frontrunner I thought him to be. He's just an awesome singer and this makes me sad.

Kris Allen - "Falling Slowly" - Brilliant. I love this song. So good. I'm so angry that my wife told me that Randy didn't like it before I watched it this morning. Randy said he knew the song but I don't think he did. He likes to name drop and that would have been the perfect time to drop Glen Hansard. Kara loved it and so did Paula but because of time restraints, Ryan cut Kara off leaving Kris with minimal praise. Not right. I'm sure he's thrilled. Still, my favorite of the night.

Lil Rounds - "The Rose" - I thought she did fine and she added the gospel part to it which was actually really good. Simon ripped her apart again and was extra cruel. She fought back which was good and she did it respectfully which was smart. Though, I know how Lil could have done better tonight. She should have written the Mary J. Blige story, made it into a movie, and done a song from that. She's just not trying anymore if you ask me.

Bottom Three: I'm looking at Matt, Anoop, and Lil. Matt was not that great this week and he could have been. I think he's been hanging on to that last safe spot and this week it's not there. Anoop was in the Bottom 3 with his "True Colors" last week so there's no reason to think another great performance like tonight will land him anywhere but. Poor Anoop. Lil has been beat up too many weeks now. She is not going to win and I truly feel everyone else is better. I'm also feeling a slight chance of a Danny shocker but I hope not.

Going Home: Lil Rounds

American Idol - Top 8 (Part 1)

It's Songs From The Year You Were Born" Week. I remember when I first started watching Idol, some of the songs were from before I was born. Now, I think some were from last week. I'm so glad they got rid of the judges' entrance. That was like when the bridal party enters the reception but with even more forced applause and no promise of good food at the end. This week, I'm going to review the performance and then put what song that person should have done (if they picked the wrong song) or could have done (if they picked the right song but I wanted to hear another one).

Danny Gokey - "Stand By Me" - This was a terrible arrangement of the song. It started off good but the middle was totally mailed in and then the end was better. This was not that great of a performance for Gokes. The judges liked it, as usual, but he has been hit or miss lately. Also, isn't it cheating to find a cover for a song you like? If he wanted to do "Stand By Me," he should have done the right thing and been born in 1961. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Bette Midler's "The Rose"

Kris Allen - "All She Wants To Do Is Dance" - He's in the middle of the crowd like Matt last week. Not a cool spot. Why did he pick this song? I enjoyed it but the judges did not and why should they? They won't praise Kris because he wasn't one of the three they picked on Leno (Danny, Adam, Lil). After last week's amazing performance, he was screwed this week no matter what. Also, Simon needs to give up on the word indulgent. Simon has not been great this year. Too busy flirting with Paula to give his usual correct assessment. SHOULD HAVE DONE: John Waite's "Missing You"

Lil Rounds - "What's Love Got To Do With It?" - This is the best Lil has been in my opinion. Her look was better though leather vests belong on someone leaning against a hog outside the Broken Spoke Saloon. Oddly, the judges were not impressed. They ripped her to shreds again. Can she take it anymore? This was the first time she said "If there's a next time..." as opposed to "Next week, I'll do better." Not looking good for Lil. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Lionel Richie's "Hello" or Phil Collins' "Against All Odds"

Anoop Desai - "True Colors" - Wow, Anoop! I thought you were on your way out. It was beautiful. So good. I loved Anoop's reaction after Randy said, "Dude, you can really sing." It was like, "Gee thanks, jerkoff. Yeah, and I had sex with your wife and you're still fat." Anoop is the first contestant to wear on his face the realization that all the judges (even Simon sometimes) are idiots. COULD HAVE DONE: Eddie Murphy's "Party All The Time" 

Scott MacIntyre - "The Search Is Over" - This was awful. I wanted it to stop. That near the end note was something special (in that it came from a special person?). He needs to go home before I get meaner and crueler. I can't take hearing Kara and Paula stumble to find complements for an awful performance. Send him home. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Chaka Khan's "I Feel For You" (See? I need him to go home.)

Allison Iraheta - "I Can't Make You Love Me" - They can't stop Kelly Clarkson-ing her red hair. It's distracting. The performance was really good. After last week's ok No Doubt, she came back strong. She is one of the Top 3 in this competition right now but the judges won't give her praise (see Kris above). Simon said she's not likable? Really? That's not going to help keep her out of the Bottom 3 this week. COULD HAVE DONE: En Vogue's "My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It) or Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Under The Bridge"

Matt Giraud - "Part Time Lover" - In my wife's mind, Nikko Smith made this song untouchable. I actually thought Matt did a good job with it. They put the hat on him to cover the forehead mole. He got to move around and show his rhythm. It was no Nikko but it was still good. Not standing o good, Kara, but regular good. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Wham!'s "Careless Whisper" or Prince's "Raspberry Beret"

Adam Lambert - "Mad World" - Simon gave him a standing ovation. Simon. It was good. He didn't do the screaming thing. Adam is funny to me. I understand his talent. I find him tremendously likable when they interview him. He's just hit or miss for me when he sings in terms of my own personal taste. Regardless, tonight was very good. The last note was a little tough but he did nail it in the practice performance that they use for the night's recap so the lasting memory is of him hitting it. COULD HAVE DONE: Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" or "Open Arms" or Tommy Tutone's "867-5309"

Bottom Three: I'm looking at Scott, Allison, and Lil. It kills me to put Allison here but I have to be realistic. America is not voting for her like they should and the judges aren't helping. She should be safe for another week, though. For me, it was a toss up between Lil and Anoop for the third spot. I went with Lil because Anoop was better and gave a genuine apology for the Kara thing which makes two great performances this week to Lil's one.

Going Home: Scott MacIntyre

American Idol - Top 9 (Part 2)

Top Downloads week was a disaster (minus Kris and Danny) so I'm going to work quickly and put it behind us. We need as much time as possible to recuperate before next week. I want start by saying that David Cook and Lady GaGa made the night. David Cook is still awesome even if I'm not so sure about his new album. And Lady GaGa rocked Poker Face. I know I'm apparently anti-Lady GaGa (I'm not) but her piano and violin opening to Poker Face was incredible. Once she got into the regular version, it was ok but that opening...Wow! Anyway, onto the results:

BOTTOM THREE:

Allison Iraheta - This is not good. If you make it into the Bottom Three once, it could be an accident but if it happens twice, it means America is not digging you for realsies. I don't get it. She's one of the four best singers in the competition no matter how you rank them. Even if the judges use the save on her in the next two weeks, what stops her from going home the following week? She's in trouble.

Anoop Desai - Uptempo song = Bottom Three. Slow ballad = Safe. It really comes down to whether Anoop wants to have fun or stay in the competition. I don't think Anoop can win so I hope he has fun next week and enjoys touring. Top 8 is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm kinda down on Anoop for back-talking to Kara. It was pointless and made him look like a bully. Kara has four phrases ("package artist," "not the right song," "I have words," " i.e. Everyone wants to get it on with you") and you don't debate someone like that. It's like telling off a duck.

Megan Joy - It was time and she knew it. She put on a brave face because she achieved what she wanted, she didn't want to get ripped to shreds anymore, and she needed to be back with her son. I also liked that the judges didn't even care about the Judges' Save and told her to enjoy the moment. Spiggles will be missed but she was a cool, uninhibited, klutzy, hot girl.

Final Thought: This was my worst week of predicting the Bottom Three thus far (1 out of 3). Unfortunately, unless the judges really praise Allison next week, it looks like she'll be back. I think it's time for Anoop or Scott to go next but we'll see. Lil should be in more trouble than she is but she can thank Ryan for playing the adorable-kids-hugging-the-judges card.

American Idol - Top 10 (Part 1)

This week is Motown week and that means Lil Rounds should be the best because she's black or at least that's what the judges implied but I'll get to that later.  Smokey Robinson was the celebrity Motown rep for the week. Interestingly, he was dressed like a skater during the mentoring sessions. Was he performing at the Spring X Games later in the day? Nothing gets Ryan Sheckler tearing up the half pipe like some Miracles. Anyway, on to the performances.

Matt Giraud - "Let's Get It On" - It started off really good and really cool. Even original. Then he left the piano and it went back to how it always sounds. Still good but I thought it was going to be awesome when it started. Does anyone else get stuck staring at that flesh mole in the middle of his forehead? It works for Russell Crowe but I think that's because Russell's is about an inch and a half south of Matt's. Maybe the Idol stylists can move it down.

CKrissss Allen - "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)" - It was very good. He sounds so much like Jason Mraz and I love Jason Mraz. He moves up on my favorites list each week. Don't you just want to squeeze him until he gets one of those blood vessel pops in his eye? Then you'd look at him and think, "Man, he'd be perfect if he didn't have that red thing in his eye. I still like him, though." I'm just saying, you need a flaw, Qwrisse.

Scott MacIntyre - "You Can't Hurry Love" - Or this song for that matter. Wait, did that make sense? I tried to do what Simon does where he takes the lyric and uses it against the singer. Anyway, it was boring and the judges finally threw away the "we can't say he was bad because he's blind" attitude. In fact, Simon was extra cruel and at one point, it looked like Scott might tear up a bit. Fortunately, those parts of his eyes don't work either and he should find himself in the Bottom 3.

Megan Joy - "For Once In My Life" - Spiggles did not bring it this week. I don't know if there were any notes that she hit. She's officially occupied the "The camera loves you" distinction for Season 8. I love her but I think it's time for her to go.

Anoop Desai - "Ooo Baby Baby" - I like that they raided Kevin Arnold's closet for Anoop. That brings it to retro real easy. He just needed to ride out on the stage with Paul Pfeiffer on matching Schwinns. The performance was pretty good. At least good enough to move on.

Michael Sarver - "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" - He had some fun out there. He's like an offensive lineman who had a great game protecting the quarterback and then jumped up on the bench in the locker room and starting belting out a tune in his towel. Was that Varsity Blues? Necessary Roughness? It was something. Anyway, he needs to go. Can we send off 3 this week? I don't even need to see the rest of the show to pick my Bottom 3.

Lil Rounds - "Heat Wave" - It seemed like Motown week was made for her. They showed her genuinely breaking down upon seeing Motown Records. They dressed her up like a Dreamgirls extra. It was all for Lil Rounds and then the song started. Not good. Good thing three other people already sucked. Apparently, this is the same song that landed Kimberley Locke and Jennifer Hudson in the Bottom 3 during their time on Idol. "Heat Wave" is Idol poison. Anyway, Simon saved her by saying she's one of the best singers in the competition so she should be fine as long as people stop pitying Scott.

Adam Lambert - "Tracks Of Our Tears" - The Elvis look for this week is a little gross but I guess he's rolling with his lip curl. It was really good. Even I am pro-Adam tonight. At some points, I wished it wasn't sung as high but he still nailed it. I'm giving him a pass this week from excessive ridicule. Well done, Adam.

Danny Gokey - "Get Ready" - Danny needs to stop having fun and get back into the competition. He should skate to the Top 5 but there are two guys (Kkckristte and Adam) that have moved ahead of him in my opinion. Time to step it up, Gokes.

Allison Iraheta - "Papa Was A Rollin' Stone" - This may not have been the best performance but it was my favorite. She's so good. She better not be in the Bottom 3 again. That was a travesty. Also, shame on Simon for taking attention away from Allison with the juvenile Paula mustache. He couldn't do that during Scott or Michael's? Poor. Simon's getting me more agitated this year than usual.

Bottom 3 - Scott, Michael, and Megan. I have a bad feeling that Lil might be in it but I'm going to stay strong and hope that America does not vote for Scott. The criticism from the judges is just going to get worse for him if he stays. If you care about him, you'll let him go, America.

Going Home - Michael Sarver

American Idol - Top 11 (Part 2)

I don't understand the public. Let's get right to it. I don't want to think about this more than I have to.

BOTTOM THREE:

Allison Iraheta - Let me begin by saying, "WHAT??" She wasn't her usual stellar but she doesn't deserve to go home. She shouldn't even be scared of going home until the Top 5. Fortunately, she was safe and sent back immediately. America, send home people that can't sing the alphabet or a phone book.

Michael Sarver - Is becoming a down home country boy or girl the way to go if you want to stay in this competition? Does no one remember that he got this far by impressing the judges with his soulful R&B skills? Now, he's the newest contestant on (Screw Motown I Want To Be A) Nashville Star? Apparently, nice guy's finish second to last. He's the weakest singer in this competition (it's close with him and Scott). He should go home. Alas, he did not.

Alexis Grace - The judges said she was one of the ones they talked about using the "Judge's Save" on. Unfortunately for Alexis, even I agree that it's too early to use it. I give her so much credit though. She sang for her life. Even the notes she missed were full of passion. This was a huge mistake. She will go down with Sabrina Sloan, Nadia Turner, and Kimberly Caldwell in the Idols who left too soon category. (I left off people who made it to the Top 5. We all know Chris Daughtry and Tamyra Gray left too soon.)

Final thought: Scott MacIntyre does not belong in the competition anymore. I'm sure it's a thrill for him but some of the notes he hits sound like he is hearing impaired and not vision impaired. If he could see, he would have been voted off last week. This is not Disabled Pianist Idol. Tonight was garbage and Alexis deserved better.

American Idol - Top 11 (Part 1)

It's country music week on American Idol. Yee to the haw! Randy Travis helped out the Idols by smiling, looking around awkwardly, and drawling.

Michael Sarver - "Ain't Goin Down Til The Sun Comes Up" - It was fun. There were a lot of words. He's a nice guy.

Allison Iraheta - "Blame It On Your Heart" - I didn't care for it. The judges liked it and she'll be fine. Randy thought it was dope. I don't think 16 year olds should be associated with drugs.

CQriss Allen - "To Make You Feel My Love" - First off, that video image of him on the floor as they panned up to him on the stool was fun house weird. I thought it started off real strong but got a little boring. The judges loved it and I assume he'll be safe.

Lil Rounds - "Independence Day" - She can sing but why did the stylist make her look like a WNBA player showing up at the red carpet? Sittmone didn't like it and embarrassed himself by mispronouncing Lil's name repeatedly. Being British doesn't require you to add letters to a name, Simon. Sound it out. Now, take a lift to the booth and put on a jumper, ya wanker.

Adam Lambert - "Ring Of Fire" - Randy Travis was speechless and I can see why. That was creepy. I thought it was awful. I just want to punch him in the face but I don't think my wife has enough makeup remover for my fist when I get home. Randy Jackson thought it was current and fresh. He said it was like Nine Inch Nails doing country. That's current? Why not Devo?

Scott MacIntyre - "Wild Angels" - Boring. Boring. Boring. I'm tired of the judges not treating him like the other contestants and it's not fair that I rip him apart because of it. I'm actually sure he wants to be treated like anyone else. That got real.

Alexis Grace - "Jolene" - This seems like a stumble. There was a falsetto that made me cringe. Regardless, she's too good to get voted off yet. Maybe the judge save?

Danny Gokey - "Jesus Take The Wheel" - This was awesome. I don't know why Entertainment Weekly hates Danny Gokey. Put the go in Gokey? How can you be so mean? He killed this song and he has gone two weeks without mentioning his wife.

Anoop Desai - "You Were Always On My Mind" - I like that Anoop likes to have fun and did Bobby Brown and Beat It but he can sing. It's about time he sang in this competition. I think this will get him out of the Anoop Dawghouse(?). Does that exist? Am I using that right?

Megan Joy - "I Go Walking After Midnight" - Spiggles dropped her last name. I'll allow it because she's awesome. I think the coolest thing about this is that she had the flu and I didn't know. She sounded great.

Matt Giraud - "So Small" - He did a fine job. There was a piano.

I don't know if they are doing a bottom three but, if so, I think it will be Michael, Scott, and a surprise Alexis. I think Michael will go home. He's the weakest one. This really is the best year of Idol. I have people I want to go home (Adam, Scott) but none that outright stink.

American Idol - Top 13 (Part 1)

Oh man. We've made it to the competition! I don't know why everyone hates Randy. Who else is going to reach that elusive demographic of people who only understand 2 words and 4 random noises/grunts? 

It's Michael Jackson night and that could mean only one thing: I predict over 50 percent suckage. (Actual suckage percentage after the performances)

Lil Rounds - "The Way You Make Me Feel" - Lil Rounds likes to change the words of songs to sound adorable. So does Weird Al. Her pants are making her rounds the opposite of lil, though. I thought it was good overall. She's more than safe.

Scott MacIntyre - "Keep The Faith" - I fell asleep before the first note was over. He's not a pop star. He's got a future on Lite FM. His voice is fine and he tickles ivories like a polite elephant poacher. (That was a bigger reach than Manute Bol going for a rebound. [That was also a stretch in the vain of Mr. Armstrong.] ) Is it me or does he look like a Mike Myers character that's constantly mugging for the camera? He'll be fine because he's blind and he wasn't terrible. There will be terrible.

Danny Gokey - "P.Y.T." - He is going for it. This is awesome. He enjoys the moment and will be safe. Also, his wife is not living anymore.

Michael Sarver - "You Are Not Alone" - I have a feeling this is the first bad across-the-board judgment. Lots of "You're a nice guy" coming. I was wrong. What did the judges see? It was boring. He's safe and this will postpone his History Channel reality show, Warbling Roughnecks. (Followed by the Season Premiere of Ax Men)

Jasmine Murray - "I'll Be There" - Skinny Mo'Nique has won the high school talent show for the second week in a row. I don't think it was that great. She might be in trouble.

Qrisse Allen - "Remember The Time" - He has the same leg movements as Dave Matthews. That's the second time I've mentioned Dave Matthews' legs in these Idol blogs. I thought he was good and sounded a little Jason Mraz-like at times. Damn it! Randy said the same thing as I typed that. I have to get a CAT scan to make sure my frontal lobe is missing. That would be the only way to justify this accord.

Allison Iraheta - "Give In To Me" - She's so good. It's scary. They really gave her a Kelly Clarkson makeover. Really ramming that comparison home, eh stylists? Eh? Plus I thought her line about not being too dark and cutting herself was hilarious. She does have a personality. She's coasting.

Anoop Desai - "Beat It" - They made Anoop look so tough. I don't know who would win in a fight, Michael Jackson in his red studded jacket or Anoop with his turned up collar. Either way, he had fun and that's code for should be going home.

Jorge Nunez - "Never Can Say Goodbye" - Oh, Jorge. Your last name is so exciting with the tilde AND the accent mark (Who has that?) but this was so boring. I, with Simon, could not wait for it to end. He went from one of the most likable to the worst. Might be going home.

Megan Corkrey - "Rockin' Robin" - Spiggles' mom is hot like her. Holy crap. I think I have beer hearing aids because she can do no wrong with this blogger. She deserves to be around for awhile. And she cawed. She cawed at the end. The judges were not pleased but she's safe. Look at her.

Adam Lambert - "Black and White" - Crikey. I can't figure him out. He's good at Adam Lambert but I don't know if I like Adam Lambert. The judges thought he was the best of the week. I'm still not on his bandwagon but he's more than safe. As an aside, can you hit notes that don't exist? My one dog does bark when Adam sings so maybe he can.

Matt Giraud - "Human Nature" - I thought it was a little boring. He sang it well but the arrangement was rough. The judges liked it and thought it was good enough to move on.

Alexis Grace - "Dirty Diana" - She sang strong and tried a little too hard but she's so good and she belongs on the show. My fear for her is the strange phone number they had to give her because they couldn't get "IDOLS 13." She might be in trouble because of that.

Since 2 are going home, I think it will be Jorge and Jasmine with a spoiler of Alexis because of the phone number thing.

Suckage Percentage: 5/13 (Way to prove me wrong, Idols)

American Idol - Top 36 (Week 2) Part 2

There isn't much to say. The group came out and sang "Closer" by Ne-Yo. Seeing the two-eyed Cyclops hip hop bounce was worth not fast forwarding. Advancing into the Top 12:

Allison "Two-Face" Iraheta - She was easily the best of the night for me with the exception of her interview but she'll get more comfortable. Did anyone else notice that her legs got cold from the opening of the show to when she was in the stool? She went from normal-colored legs to grey legs during commercial break. Should I have noticed that? Let's move on.

Kris "Chick Magnet" Allen - He got the Simon bump and probably knocked out Megan Corkrey. "Man in the Mirror" is such a weird song. I haven't heard it since we sang it as a class for 3rd Grade Parent Night and I still knew all of the words. How is that possible? Anyway, this wasn't a bad choice. He can sing but I'm not a fan of his name beginning with a K. For the rest of his time on this blog, he will be known as Qrisse. That'll teach his parents not to make mistakes like this anymore.

Adam "Siren Harpie" Lambert - I was somewhat pleased that his second version of "Satisfaction" was not an exact copy of the first version. Maybe he's not a musical robot. He's got a tremendous voice but I'm still not sure if I like him. Since I judge books by their covers, I'm going to let the Idol stylists make him more palatable in my eyes over the coming weeks.

Who should get the Wild Card? I think Megan Corkrey. She's fun. She has an odd stage dance that's the most fun, awkward thing to watch since Dave Matthews started that leg thing he does in the 90s. I know I was pushing for Matt Giraud yesterday but I don't think he's in. There are only so many spots left.

American Idol - Top 36 (Week 2) Part 1

My title needs more numbers, I think. Anyway. I am going to blog this while I watch the show on my DVR. It makes it easier to remember everything I want to say about each person and avoids me forgetting all that comedy gold I come up with during playback.

Jasmine Murray - "Love Song" - She picked a cool song. I'm a huge Sara Bareilles fan. Her problem is she didn't sing the song fast enough. The thing with uptempo songs is that there is really no room for interpretation unless you change the arrangement. She tried for interpretation without rearrangement and that's why she failed.

Matt Giraud - "Viva La Vida" - He sang an awesome "Georgia On My Mind" during Hollywood Week. He made a large mistake trying to bring a soulful feel to a Coldplay song. The problem is that Chris Martin has no soul so it can't be done. If he would have succeeded, it would have been like Cindy Loo Who getting the Grinch's heart the grow three sizes. Sorry, Matt. Maybe you'll get one of the wild cards.

Jeanine Vailes - "This Love" - I was distracted by her changing all the female pronouns to male pronouns. Just lesbian it up for normalcy. Unfortunately, she made Adam Levine seem like he should be in the pantheon with Mariah and Whitney. So that's good for Adam Levine.

Nick Mitchell - "And I'm Telling I'm You" - Something might be wrong with me because I enjoyed this. Since he will be singing this every week (he sang it at Hollywood Week), I'm sure it will bother me by Week Six but tonight, it was fun. Please don't vote for him.

Allison Iraheta - "Alone" - Heart is usually a terrible pick. Not this time. She was awesome. Finally! Because this show was awful until now. However, I agree with Simon that she has a rough personality. She put off a Joaquin-Phoenix-on-Letterman vibe with Ryan before singing.

Kris Allen - "Man In The Mirror" - It started out not so great but it ended really strong. I was sitting here when he started singing thinking ugh but then he hit a note and it made me look up from my laptop. I even deleted the first sentence I wrote. Not bad. Will it get a spot? I don't think so.

Megan Corkrey - "Put Your Records On" - This girl knows how to enunciate. Wow. She must have gone to a Catholic school and gotten smacked if she ignored one letter in any word. She also wiggles nicely.

Matt Breitzke - "If You Could Only See" - This was boring. He seems like a nice guy but there are better guys than him, singing-wise. At least when this is over, he can remove one of his eyes and have a life feasting on Odysseus' crew.

Jesse Langseth - "Bette Davis Eyes" - It's pretty good. It was safe but what do you expect? She just died in Daniel Faraday's arms from temporal displacement a couple of weeks ago. It's good to have her back.

Kai Kalama - "What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted" - It was nice to listen to. He's got the hair of Sideshow Bob's brother, Cecil, so that's cool. He won't be back.

Mishavonna Henson - "Drops of Jupiter" - It sounded really good but the judges thought she looked too serious. I went back to watch it because I was too busy searching for the spelling of Cecil to look up the first time. She did look serious. Like angry that no one was answering her questions. Yes, Mishavonna, the wind swept me off my feet. Oh God, just don't hurt me.

Adam Lambert - "Satisfaction" - The dude can sing, in most cases not like a dude but he can sing. I think he overdid it but he's working the theater out of himself so that he can then put the theater back in himself after the competition. (Cause he'll be on Broadway with most of the other American Idol finalists from times past.) He'll be fine.

I think the Top 3 will be Adam Lambert, Allison Iraheta, and Megan Corkrey. Matt Giraud will hopefully get a Wild Card.