American Idol - Finale (Part 2)

Well, this is it. The last American Idol blog for 2009. It's been a good run and I can't believe I stayed with it throughout. That last part was more in regards to the whole finale than the season. Even fast forwarding the commercials, it lasted a good six days. I missed four BBQs. It was a great season and a crazy ending. Sometimes life smacks you across the face with a hand made of money. It wakes you up and is upsetting until you realize you get to keep the hand. Move on? Sure.

The Idols - So What? - The white clothes are brutal. They look like they are starring in a Hip Hop video in the Arctic but they sound like Kidz Bop. Can I get this with a happy meal at McDonald's? The following is not from last night's finale:

David Cook - "Permanent" - He's singing a song without actual words. It's just warbling. It's nice.

Lil Rounds & Queen Latifah - "Cue The Rain" - Lil's wig is the best one yet and Queen Latifah forgot the other half of her jacket. The performance is awkward but that's just because the song is awful and they are struggling to remember their choreography. Twirl your finger by your temple when you get to the word "insane!" Both of you! What is this, Amateur Hour???

Anoop Desai, Alexis Grace, & Jason Mraz - "I'm Yours" - Anoop starts it off nice. He can really sing (Thanks, Randy). Too bad the judges wanted nothing to do with him. Alexis, dressed like her favorite pirate lass, should not be paired with this song. Her voice doesn't fit it. Jason Mraz is wonderful, like Kris Allen. Anoop, Alexis, and Jason sound fine together and then...the rest of the gang joins to ruin everything. Nice job, ruiners. 

Kris Allen & Keith Urban - "Kiss A Girl" - It's interesting that Kris gets Keith Urban and one song and Adam gets a giant KISS medley but I'm getting ahead of myself. Kris seems to be having a good time and that's all that matters. Just go out there and have fun. It doesn't matter who wins. Though, at times, it feels like a hockey game where the ice is tilted 75 degrees towards Kris' goal. Kris has to swing with all his little arms have to make it to Adam's goal.

The Girls & Fergie - "Glamorous" & "Big Girls Don't Cry" - I used to like Spiggles, right? Do you think they tell Spiggles not to sing directly into the mic unless it's her solo? Fergie sounds pretty terrible too and I love her. Why are they ruining "Big Girls Don't Cry?" It's my anthem.

Black Eyed Peas - "Boom Boom Boom" -  There are weird faceless zebra people in the background dancing. Their combined movements make you feel like you're in an Escher drawing. I'm bothered so much. I bet Simon's enjoying this. This is his jam. He probably throws in an extra boom when he's "managing" his sexy violin quartet, Escala. Hot violinists: They're real and they're spectacular!

Kara & Bikini Girl - "Vision of Love" - Bikini Girl, in bikini, begins the song with all the passion of Kristin Wiig as the Girl A-Hole (see below). Kara joins her on stage and outsings her easily. Kara has a good voice amongst all the crazy and idiocy. At the end, she throws open her dress to reveal her own bikini. She looked good.

Allison Iraheta & Cindy Lauper - "Time After Time" - Is this fair to Anoop? He sang such a beautiful version of "True Colors." I guess Anoop got all he deserved (2 lines at the beginning of "I'm Yours"). Lauper rocked the slide guitar while sitting like a man. Nice. Why was this song picked for Allison? I bet Michael Slezak is disappointed at EW. It was actually pretty good but I wanted Rocker Allison, not Tender Allison.

Danny Gokey & Lionel Richie - "Hello" & "Just Go" & "All Night Long" - A good pick for Danny with "Hello." Did anyone else notice that he sang the Lionel Richie part on "Just Go" because he was so excited to be up there? It's a nice moment for Danny. Lionel Richie looks great, too. Sometimes older people come on Idol and look terrible (See Disco Week). 

Adam Lambert & KISS - "Beth" & "Get Up Everybody" & "Rock and Roll All Night" - It's very good. This fits him like a glove. Is he going to make an album of Queen, Kiss, and Led Zeppelin-like music? Can he make an album with Jack White? Adam ruled this finale.

Matt Giraud & Carlos Santana - "Black Magic Woman" & "Smooth" - My wife asked me why Matt was wearing a Michael Jackson jacket. Because they didn't want to make him always look like Justin Timberlake. I thought the answer should make as much sense as the jacket. All the singers join in for "Smooth" and...mess everything up. Do you notice a trend? Is this what the Idol tour is like? Oof.

Megan Joy, Michael Sarver, & Steve Martin - "Pretty Flowers" - Let's do this like Simon for old time's sake. Megan won this round by a clear mile. A million percent better. Michael, it was ok, but Megan was better. I think you're in trouble. Sorry.

The Guys - "If You Think I'm Sexy" - Please stop.

Rod Stewart - "Maggie May" - The opposite of what I was saying about Lionel Richie. The older he gets, the more he looks like Hillary Clinton. Almost trumped Lil Rounds and Smokey Robinson for creepiest performance of the season. Almost.

Adam Lambert & Kris Allen & Queen - "We Are The Champions" - Adam sounded great the whole way. Kris sounded good when there was no heavy music behind him. When there was, I think they turned his mic off because I only heard Adam. They were joined by what I was hoping was the cast of Glee but I was wrong. It ended with some nice hugs between the two finalists. 

AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 8 WINNER - Kris Allen

Final Thoughts - I hope Kris gets to make the album he wants. David Cook seemed to so there could be hope. Adam has a ridiculous voice and he'll do fine. I don't know if I'll buy his album but I'll go see him on Broadway. My favorite has won 2 years in a row now. My brain is getting too mainstream. Congratulations to all the Idol contestants (except Jorge). I'm looking forward to albums from Anoop Desai, Allison Iraheta, Matt Giraud, Alexis Grace, and Jesse Langseth. Maybe Ricky Braddy. Farewell to Idol until 2010. Thanks for reading.

American Idol - Top 7 (Part 4)

Disco week is over and we're down to the Final Five. Hopefully with this Final Five, the last one standing won't be a ridiculous letdown (Thanks Battlestar Galactica). Anyway, my wife made me fast forward through the washed-up disco superstars of the past. After going back, I can't blame her. They moved so carefully, it felt like the Hall of Presidents in Disney World. I had bad dreams of an animatronic KC attacking me because I refused to get down on the specific night he asked me to. Also, I can't take David Archuleta. He's always out of breath and smiling. How does he do a whole concert if he can't perform one song without being winded? Is he still using his baby lungs? When do those fall out so he can breathe like a grownup?

BOTTOM 3:

Allison Iraheta - I'm praying this position is merely a result of Matt getting saved by the judges and everyone rallying behind him. She should not leave until the Top 3. It's time for America to start thinking about albums. Are you going to buy a Danny or a Matt album? Now answer the question imagining the physical album is in front of you. (That was my "A Time To Kill" moment.)

Lil Rounds - Everyone knew she was going home so they didn't waste any time. She was gone before any guest performances. If she didn't come back out at the end to hug Anoop, I would have sworn Idol had security escort her out. I've never seen an early favorite flounder this badly in 8 seasons of Idol.

Anoop Desai - He's a better singer than Matt. This is a singing competition. Anoop had almost as many chances as Matt throughout the season. (I forgot that they made it a Top 13 for Anoop.) He wasn't going to win but I was pulling for a Top 5 for him. On a side note, he's the second Idol to be booted for singing a song about making the room darker ("Dim All The Lights"). Megan "Spiggles" Joy sang "Turn Your Lights Down Low" on her last week. Is there something to that? The remaining five should stay away from Nelly Furtado's "Turn Off The Light" just to be safe.

Final Thought: Danny needs to do something other than just sing a song next week. I think he can pull off an acapella version of something beautifully. If he keeps his vocals tender, he can put himself back in the Finals discussion. As for Allison, there isn't much she can do. Even a "brilliant" from Simon got her nowhere. She's in trouble. Next week's Bottom 3 is going to be crazy. Adam, Danny, and Kris have never been and one of them has to go according to my superior mathematics skills (each remaining Idol is a finger on my hand). Who will join Matt and Allison in the Bottom 3? I guess we'll have to wait for the performances.

American Idol - Top 7 (Part 3)

It should be the Top 6 but they saved Matt Giraud last week so we have 7 again. However, two will go home this week and all will be well again. Was it me or did Ryan mail in the "THIS is A-MER-ican Idol?" There should be a good ten second pause between "THIS" and "is." Disappointing. It's disco week and I expected awful. Did I get it?

Lil Rounds - "I'm Every Woman" - She finally gave the judges what they wanted in song choice and it still didn't work for her. I hate when I agree with Randy because it means I may have had a stroke or regressed back to the age of 15 months. Regardless, I did feel this was all over the place and simply not good. She tried to put too much Lil into it without having a plan. If there was an upside, this was her best wig. Hands down.

Kris Allen - "She Works Hard For The Money" - It was so good. He's back (as he should be) in the "Who's going to be in the finals with Adam?" talk. The judges tried to ruin Kris' chances again by babbling like children but at least they ended on praise. I can't wait for his album.

Danny Gokey - "September" - He has not been that great for a couple of weeks now. This was a little boring for an upbeat song. I agree with Simon that he doesn't seem to have a special moment in him. He comes out and sings a song well and that's it. I'm running out of love for the Gokes.

Allison Iraheta - "Hot Stuff" - She rocked out Hot Stuff. I agree that it was a weird arrangement but she stayed true to herself. Oh no. Did I just say that? It wasn't karaoke or pitchy. What's happening? For her, for me, that wouldn't have happened on a cruise ship or in a hotel lobby. Make it stop. It was authentic Allison. She knows who she is as an artist. Mommy. Give that girl a phonebook. I have to go.

Adam Lambert - "If I Can't Have You" - His hair was in "Kevin's going to enjoy this one" mode. It's like Robin Williams' beard and an Oscar nomination. It just happens. It was really good. True to his hair. Kara said he looks like a cross between the guy from Saturday Night Live and Clark Kent. Some people are going to get on her because they think she meant Saturday Night Fever but I see it. There's some Chris Kattan in there. I'm with you Kara.

Matt Giraud - "Stayin' Alive" - I'll take a cue and do this Simon-style. "No, he's not." He tried really hard again. When he goes into a falsetto, it hurts my head. It has been good to see him go from cocky in the auditions to giving it his all each week. I still think he's going home with Lil but he deserves to go home second.

Anoop Desai - "Dim All The Lights" - The stylists really got him ready to try out for a Wham tribute band. That or he needs to catch that time machine if he wants to make his audition for Miami Vice. Hurry, Anoop! He can sing and Top 5 is nothing to be ashamed of.

Bottom Three: I'm feeling Lil, Matt, and Anoop. Anoop has been in the bottom three the last few weeks and with there not being many weeks left, that should change. To be fair, Anoop is not far behind Danny but I still think Danny is better. Though, if Anoop does well next week and Danny continues his decline, anything can happen. Remember Chris Daughtry? There's not much left to say about Lil and Matt. I said it all last week. Time to go home.

Going Home: Lil Rounds and Matt Giraud

American Idol - Top 7 (Part 2)

I feel empty after last night's results show. On the one hand, I got the Bottom 3 correct (though it was easy). On the other hand, we still have seven contestants. The show started off with the Idol medley of "Maniac" from "Flashdance." I did not enjoy it at all. For me, "Maniac" is one of those untouchable songs because no one will ever do it as well as Chris Farley. Anyway, on to the results:

BOTTOM 3: 

Anoop Desai - Like he said on the show, it's not up to the judges or him to say whether his performance was good enough to be safe. America is not a big fan of Anoop. He has put in two great performances in a row and gotten Bottom 3 status each time. He will be lucky to crack the Top 5. Still nothing to sneeze at. I mean, I'd sneeze at it but I hold myself to higher standards. 

Lil Rounds - I thought she was going home but she was not the lowest vote getter. This means Simon will actually set her on fire next week after she's done singing. Part of me thinks she's ready for it though. She seems to be carrying a lot of supplies in the back of her pants. Hopefully amidst all of that junk, there's a fire extinguisher.

Matt Giraud - He was the lowest vote getter and sang worse than the previous night. How could he not? He was away from his comfort instrument and had his Idol fate on the line. Simon said to him that he doesn't think he can win the competition and then proceeded to use the Judges' Save on him. What? You don't have to use it, judges. Do they know that? Why would you waste it on someone that you don't think can win it all? That's like landing on $5000 and giving Pat Sajak your Free Spin. It doesn't make any sense. Sure Matt was happy and crying. He should be. Now he has to go through the process of getting voted off again next week.

Final Thought: So there will be two contestants voted off next week. I predict Lil and Matt will be those two. I don't see how another week saves them. Truthfully, that would leave the best five. Disco week should be fun. I can't wait to hear Adam do "Don't Leave Me This Way" or even better, "Disco Duck."

Goodbye, Blindy McNoSee (AI Top 8 Part 2)

I promised a good friend of mine that I would make that the title of my blog after Scott was sent home packing. However, I promise that is it for the Scott bashing. He doesn't deserve any more.

BOTTOM THREE:

Lil Rounds - The early favorite beside Danny finally found her way into the bottom three. There's only so many weeks you can spell the judges' hatred with popularity. Eventually, it catches up to you. Lil looks like she is going to snap any second. After she gets voted off, she's going to show up at Randy Jackson's house wearing Mary J. Blige's skin on her face yelling, "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?!?! IS IT?!?! I'M MARY J! REAL LOVE IS ABOUT TO TURN INTO REAL PAIN!!!" 

Anoop Desai - Anoop did not belong in the Bottom 3 after his last performance but we are getting down to the wire here so being good one night doesn't necessarily mean you will stay. When Anoop does get voted off, I would love for him to put each of the judges in their places. He seems like he's holding back some things. "Frat boy on a dare, Kara? Really? Let me ask you this: Did you really write all those songs or did you get help from four people? [holding up 3 fingers] I have your package artist right here! [a cruder gesture]"

Scott MacIntyre - I have been an awful person to Scott in these blogs. I took out my frustration with America and the judges on him which was misplaced. He seems like a genuinely nice guy with a great sense of humor. I feel like he has a long career ahead of him as an adult contemporary singer and what he accomplished was inspirational. I wish him all the best. (See? I told you I'd do it right.)

Final Thought: I was wrong about Allison! That made me so happy. She is the better female and one of the three best singers left in the competition. If this is going to shape up properly, Lil, Matt, and Anoop will be the next ones to go leaving an incredible Top 4. Finally, Ryan needs to give it up on the suspense dialogue. It's getting a little retarded. "Last week you were in the Bottom 3. This week you....will...also...be given a placement in the competition...[contestant's name] come over here...stop...turn around and sit...on those seats way over there...but not...I'm sorry, [contestant's name], you are...the opposite of not not safe. Here's a tissue. Your ears are bleeding....from joy!"

American Idol - Top 8 (Part 1)

It's Songs From The Year You Were Born" Week. I remember when I first started watching Idol, some of the songs were from before I was born. Now, I think some were from last week. I'm so glad they got rid of the judges' entrance. That was like when the bridal party enters the reception but with even more forced applause and no promise of good food at the end. This week, I'm going to review the performance and then put what song that person should have done (if they picked the wrong song) or could have done (if they picked the right song but I wanted to hear another one).

Danny Gokey - "Stand By Me" - This was a terrible arrangement of the song. It started off good but the middle was totally mailed in and then the end was better. This was not that great of a performance for Gokes. The judges liked it, as usual, but he has been hit or miss lately. Also, isn't it cheating to find a cover for a song you like? If he wanted to do "Stand By Me," he should have done the right thing and been born in 1961. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Bette Midler's "The Rose"

Kris Allen - "All She Wants To Do Is Dance" - He's in the middle of the crowd like Matt last week. Not a cool spot. Why did he pick this song? I enjoyed it but the judges did not and why should they? They won't praise Kris because he wasn't one of the three they picked on Leno (Danny, Adam, Lil). After last week's amazing performance, he was screwed this week no matter what. Also, Simon needs to give up on the word indulgent. Simon has not been great this year. Too busy flirting with Paula to give his usual correct assessment. SHOULD HAVE DONE: John Waite's "Missing You"

Lil Rounds - "What's Love Got To Do With It?" - This is the best Lil has been in my opinion. Her look was better though leather vests belong on someone leaning against a hog outside the Broken Spoke Saloon. Oddly, the judges were not impressed. They ripped her to shreds again. Can she take it anymore? This was the first time she said "If there's a next time..." as opposed to "Next week, I'll do better." Not looking good for Lil. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Lionel Richie's "Hello" or Phil Collins' "Against All Odds"

Anoop Desai - "True Colors" - Wow, Anoop! I thought you were on your way out. It was beautiful. So good. I loved Anoop's reaction after Randy said, "Dude, you can really sing." It was like, "Gee thanks, jerkoff. Yeah, and I had sex with your wife and you're still fat." Anoop is the first contestant to wear on his face the realization that all the judges (even Simon sometimes) are idiots. COULD HAVE DONE: Eddie Murphy's "Party All The Time" 

Scott MacIntyre - "The Search Is Over" - This was awful. I wanted it to stop. That near the end note was something special (in that it came from a special person?). He needs to go home before I get meaner and crueler. I can't take hearing Kara and Paula stumble to find complements for an awful performance. Send him home. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Chaka Khan's "I Feel For You" (See? I need him to go home.)

Allison Iraheta - "I Can't Make You Love Me" - They can't stop Kelly Clarkson-ing her red hair. It's distracting. The performance was really good. After last week's ok No Doubt, she came back strong. She is one of the Top 3 in this competition right now but the judges won't give her praise (see Kris above). Simon said she's not likable? Really? That's not going to help keep her out of the Bottom 3 this week. COULD HAVE DONE: En Vogue's "My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It) or Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Under The Bridge"

Matt Giraud - "Part Time Lover" - In my wife's mind, Nikko Smith made this song untouchable. I actually thought Matt did a good job with it. They put the hat on him to cover the forehead mole. He got to move around and show his rhythm. It was no Nikko but it was still good. Not standing o good, Kara, but regular good. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Wham!'s "Careless Whisper" or Prince's "Raspberry Beret"

Adam Lambert - "Mad World" - Simon gave him a standing ovation. Simon. It was good. He didn't do the screaming thing. Adam is funny to me. I understand his talent. I find him tremendously likable when they interview him. He's just hit or miss for me when he sings in terms of my own personal taste. Regardless, tonight was very good. The last note was a little tough but he did nail it in the practice performance that they use for the night's recap so the lasting memory is of him hitting it. COULD HAVE DONE: Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" or "Open Arms" or Tommy Tutone's "867-5309"

Bottom Three: I'm looking at Scott, Allison, and Lil. It kills me to put Allison here but I have to be realistic. America is not voting for her like they should and the judges aren't helping. She should be safe for another week, though. For me, it was a toss up between Lil and Anoop for the third spot. I went with Lil because Anoop was better and gave a genuine apology for the Kara thing which makes two great performances this week to Lil's one.

Going Home: Scott MacIntyre

American Idol - Top 9 (Part 2)

Top Downloads week was a disaster (minus Kris and Danny) so I'm going to work quickly and put it behind us. We need as much time as possible to recuperate before next week. I want start by saying that David Cook and Lady GaGa made the night. David Cook is still awesome even if I'm not so sure about his new album. And Lady GaGa rocked Poker Face. I know I'm apparently anti-Lady GaGa (I'm not) but her piano and violin opening to Poker Face was incredible. Once she got into the regular version, it was ok but that opening...Wow! Anyway, onto the results:

BOTTOM THREE:

Allison Iraheta - This is not good. If you make it into the Bottom Three once, it could be an accident but if it happens twice, it means America is not digging you for realsies. I don't get it. She's one of the four best singers in the competition no matter how you rank them. Even if the judges use the save on her in the next two weeks, what stops her from going home the following week? She's in trouble.

Anoop Desai - Uptempo song = Bottom Three. Slow ballad = Safe. It really comes down to whether Anoop wants to have fun or stay in the competition. I don't think Anoop can win so I hope he has fun next week and enjoys touring. Top 8 is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm kinda down on Anoop for back-talking to Kara. It was pointless and made him look like a bully. Kara has four phrases ("package artist," "not the right song," "I have words," " i.e. Everyone wants to get it on with you") and you don't debate someone like that. It's like telling off a duck.

Megan Joy - It was time and she knew it. She put on a brave face because she achieved what she wanted, she didn't want to get ripped to shreds anymore, and she needed to be back with her son. I also liked that the judges didn't even care about the Judges' Save and told her to enjoy the moment. Spiggles will be missed but she was a cool, uninhibited, klutzy, hot girl.

Final Thought: This was my worst week of predicting the Bottom Three thus far (1 out of 3). Unfortunately, unless the judges really praise Allison next week, it looks like she'll be back. I think it's time for Anoop or Scott to go next but we'll see. Lil should be in more trouble than she is but she can thank Ryan for playing the adorable-kids-hugging-the-judges card.

American Idol - Top 11 (Part 1)

It's country music week on American Idol. Yee to the haw! Randy Travis helped out the Idols by smiling, looking around awkwardly, and drawling.

Michael Sarver - "Ain't Goin Down Til The Sun Comes Up" - It was fun. There were a lot of words. He's a nice guy.

Allison Iraheta - "Blame It On Your Heart" - I didn't care for it. The judges liked it and she'll be fine. Randy thought it was dope. I don't think 16 year olds should be associated with drugs.

CQriss Allen - "To Make You Feel My Love" - First off, that video image of him on the floor as they panned up to him on the stool was fun house weird. I thought it started off real strong but got a little boring. The judges loved it and I assume he'll be safe.

Lil Rounds - "Independence Day" - She can sing but why did the stylist make her look like a WNBA player showing up at the red carpet? Sittmone didn't like it and embarrassed himself by mispronouncing Lil's name repeatedly. Being British doesn't require you to add letters to a name, Simon. Sound it out. Now, take a lift to the booth and put on a jumper, ya wanker.

Adam Lambert - "Ring Of Fire" - Randy Travis was speechless and I can see why. That was creepy. I thought it was awful. I just want to punch him in the face but I don't think my wife has enough makeup remover for my fist when I get home. Randy Jackson thought it was current and fresh. He said it was like Nine Inch Nails doing country. That's current? Why not Devo?

Scott MacIntyre - "Wild Angels" - Boring. Boring. Boring. I'm tired of the judges not treating him like the other contestants and it's not fair that I rip him apart because of it. I'm actually sure he wants to be treated like anyone else. That got real.

Alexis Grace - "Jolene" - This seems like a stumble. There was a falsetto that made me cringe. Regardless, she's too good to get voted off yet. Maybe the judge save?

Danny Gokey - "Jesus Take The Wheel" - This was awesome. I don't know why Entertainment Weekly hates Danny Gokey. Put the go in Gokey? How can you be so mean? He killed this song and he has gone two weeks without mentioning his wife.

Anoop Desai - "You Were Always On My Mind" - I like that Anoop likes to have fun and did Bobby Brown and Beat It but he can sing. It's about time he sang in this competition. I think this will get him out of the Anoop Dawghouse(?). Does that exist? Am I using that right?

Megan Joy - "I Go Walking After Midnight" - Spiggles dropped her last name. I'll allow it because she's awesome. I think the coolest thing about this is that she had the flu and I didn't know. She sounded great.

Matt Giraud - "So Small" - He did a fine job. There was a piano.

I don't know if they are doing a bottom three but, if so, I think it will be Michael, Scott, and a surprise Alexis. I think Michael will go home. He's the weakest one. This really is the best year of Idol. I have people I want to go home (Adam, Scott) but none that outright stink.

American Idol - Top 13 (Part 1)

Oh man. We've made it to the competition! I don't know why everyone hates Randy. Who else is going to reach that elusive demographic of people who only understand 2 words and 4 random noises/grunts? 

It's Michael Jackson night and that could mean only one thing: I predict over 50 percent suckage. (Actual suckage percentage after the performances)

Lil Rounds - "The Way You Make Me Feel" - Lil Rounds likes to change the words of songs to sound adorable. So does Weird Al. Her pants are making her rounds the opposite of lil, though. I thought it was good overall. She's more than safe.

Scott MacIntyre - "Keep The Faith" - I fell asleep before the first note was over. He's not a pop star. He's got a future on Lite FM. His voice is fine and he tickles ivories like a polite elephant poacher. (That was a bigger reach than Manute Bol going for a rebound. [That was also a stretch in the vain of Mr. Armstrong.] ) Is it me or does he look like a Mike Myers character that's constantly mugging for the camera? He'll be fine because he's blind and he wasn't terrible. There will be terrible.

Danny Gokey - "P.Y.T." - He is going for it. This is awesome. He enjoys the moment and will be safe. Also, his wife is not living anymore.

Michael Sarver - "You Are Not Alone" - I have a feeling this is the first bad across-the-board judgment. Lots of "You're a nice guy" coming. I was wrong. What did the judges see? It was boring. He's safe and this will postpone his History Channel reality show, Warbling Roughnecks. (Followed by the Season Premiere of Ax Men)

Jasmine Murray - "I'll Be There" - Skinny Mo'Nique has won the high school talent show for the second week in a row. I don't think it was that great. She might be in trouble.

Qrisse Allen - "Remember The Time" - He has the same leg movements as Dave Matthews. That's the second time I've mentioned Dave Matthews' legs in these Idol blogs. I thought he was good and sounded a little Jason Mraz-like at times. Damn it! Randy said the same thing as I typed that. I have to get a CAT scan to make sure my frontal lobe is missing. That would be the only way to justify this accord.

Allison Iraheta - "Give In To Me" - She's so good. It's scary. They really gave her a Kelly Clarkson makeover. Really ramming that comparison home, eh stylists? Eh? Plus I thought her line about not being too dark and cutting herself was hilarious. She does have a personality. She's coasting.

Anoop Desai - "Beat It" - They made Anoop look so tough. I don't know who would win in a fight, Michael Jackson in his red studded jacket or Anoop with his turned up collar. Either way, he had fun and that's code for should be going home.

Jorge Nunez - "Never Can Say Goodbye" - Oh, Jorge. Your last name is so exciting with the tilde AND the accent mark (Who has that?) but this was so boring. I, with Simon, could not wait for it to end. He went from one of the most likable to the worst. Might be going home.

Megan Corkrey - "Rockin' Robin" - Spiggles' mom is hot like her. Holy crap. I think I have beer hearing aids because she can do no wrong with this blogger. She deserves to be around for awhile. And she cawed. She cawed at the end. The judges were not pleased but she's safe. Look at her.

Adam Lambert - "Black and White" - Crikey. I can't figure him out. He's good at Adam Lambert but I don't know if I like Adam Lambert. The judges thought he was the best of the week. I'm still not on his bandwagon but he's more than safe. As an aside, can you hit notes that don't exist? My one dog does bark when Adam sings so maybe he can.

Matt Giraud - "Human Nature" - I thought it was a little boring. He sang it well but the arrangement was rough. The judges liked it and thought it was good enough to move on.

Alexis Grace - "Dirty Diana" - She sang strong and tried a little too hard but she's so good and she belongs on the show. My fear for her is the strange phone number they had to give her because they couldn't get "IDOLS 13." She might be in trouble because of that.

Since 2 are going home, I think it will be Jorge and Jasmine with a spoiler of Alexis because of the phone number thing.

Suckage Percentage: 5/13 (Way to prove me wrong, Idols)

American Idol - Top 36 (Wild Card)

We will get our final 3. My money's on Anoop, Megan, and Matt. There are rumors of a Top 13 but I'll stick to picking 3.

Jesse Langseth - "Tell Me Something Good" - I don't think the judges will be telling her...something...uh...you know the rest. Kara and Paula said that it was sexy but I think it looked more like she was having sex than being sexy. I kinda wanted them to pixelate her at points. A little skeevy. Probably not a Wild Card choice.

Matt Giraud - "Who's Lovin' You" - It started off really good and then he "riffed" way too much. At times it was amazing and other times it was overkill. He really wanted it and he sang his butt off. He showed every note he can hit (or almost hit). That's all you can ask after the Coldplay debacle. Simon said he reminded him of Taylor Hicks. I saw a little Ray Charles myself. He should got one of the spots.

Megan Corkrey - "Black Horse And a Cherry Tree" - I dropped the joy from her name because she dropped the joy tonight. It was not good but I just like her so much! I want to squeeze her until her tattoo comes off. The song choice was right but she is limited vocally. However, she got the Simon endorsement so she might be back. In fact, I'm going to be positive. Spiggles will be back! Who doesn't want to see that dance again? Girl's got guilty feet (comment if you get the reference).

Von Smith - "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word" - The beginning is rough but he'll belt it out to make it better. He's like Anwar from Season 4. Rough until the big notes. The judges thought it was too serious, even dark. His face during the judgment showed that he knew he blew it. Maybe he's better off shouting. He could make tons on a subway platform. Those trains are loud.

Jasmine Murray - "Reflection" - She didn't go with Rihanna. I would have put money on that. She was really good and controlled. I liked it a lot and I'm now worried about my 3 prelim picks. Simon thinks she could be in. I have to agree. Side note: If she doesn't make the Top 12, she can always be the "After" photo if Mo'Nique gets an endorsement from Jenny Craig and she doesn't feel like putting in the effort.

Thanks, Jenny Craig!

Ricky Braddy - "Superstition" - Bring it, tight pants! Skinny Jeans never stood a chance tonight. I actually thought he was good but you could tell the judges wanted nothing to do with him. I guess I'll skip to the next singer just like the judges did.

Tatiana Del Toro - "Saving All My Love For You" - Didn't she sing this last time? I love that it's awful. I love it. I love love love it. I love that I love that I love it. Kiss me, awful singing. Kiss me. When she reached towards the screen on the last note, I thought she was going to come through the screen and kill me a la The Ring. Also, she picked up an accent because she noticed it worked for Jorge Nunez. Psycho. She's crazy crazy. Like carve "American Idol 4 Eva" into her chest and then use the ink from a Bic pen to fill it in crazy. The farce needs to end now.

Anoop Desai - "My Prerogative" - Oh, Anoop. I actually did not like this at all but the judges did which I think is awesome. I like Anoop and feel he can come into his own as the contest continues. I really hope this doesn't come off as racist but he seems like a combination of every character Kal Penn has ever played. He's got the suaveness of Kumar. He's got the heart of Kutner. He's got the he-could-go-into-a-crazy-rant-at-any-time twinkle in his eye of Taj. Plus, I loved when he wasn't sure what Randy meant by Anoop Brown Dawg. He'll get a spot.

And the Wild Cards go to...

Jasmine Murray (Gastric Bypass Mo'Nique deserved it)

Megan Corkrey (Spiggles!)

Matt Giraud (Now that he's in and can use half of his dueling pianos, he can be a force)

Anoop Desai (Lucky 13)

That's it for me this week. I can't wait for this competition to really start so we can think things like "How did we let that person in?" or "I remember her singing a lot better" or "Why did they do 13? There's barely 5 good ones" and the like.