American Idol - Top 9 (Part 2)

Top Downloads week was a disaster (minus Kris and Danny) so I'm going to work quickly and put it behind us. We need as much time as possible to recuperate before next week. I want start by saying that David Cook and Lady GaGa made the night. David Cook is still awesome even if I'm not so sure about his new album. And Lady GaGa rocked Poker Face. I know I'm apparently anti-Lady GaGa (I'm not) but her piano and violin opening to Poker Face was incredible. Once she got into the regular version, it was ok but that opening...Wow! Anyway, onto the results:

BOTTOM THREE:

Allison Iraheta - This is not good. If you make it into the Bottom Three once, it could be an accident but if it happens twice, it means America is not digging you for realsies. I don't get it. She's one of the four best singers in the competition no matter how you rank them. Even if the judges use the save on her in the next two weeks, what stops her from going home the following week? She's in trouble.

Anoop Desai - Uptempo song = Bottom Three. Slow ballad = Safe. It really comes down to whether Anoop wants to have fun or stay in the competition. I don't think Anoop can win so I hope he has fun next week and enjoys touring. Top 8 is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm kinda down on Anoop for back-talking to Kara. It was pointless and made him look like a bully. Kara has four phrases ("package artist," "not the right song," "I have words," " i.e. Everyone wants to get it on with you") and you don't debate someone like that. It's like telling off a duck.

Megan Joy - It was time and she knew it. She put on a brave face because she achieved what she wanted, she didn't want to get ripped to shreds anymore, and she needed to be back with her son. I also liked that the judges didn't even care about the Judges' Save and told her to enjoy the moment. Spiggles will be missed but she was a cool, uninhibited, klutzy, hot girl.

Final Thought: This was my worst week of predicting the Bottom Three thus far (1 out of 3). Unfortunately, unless the judges really praise Allison next week, it looks like she'll be back. I think it's time for Anoop or Scott to go next but we'll see. Lil should be in more trouble than she is but she can thank Ryan for playing the adorable-kids-hugging-the-judges card.

American Idol - Top 13 (Part 1)

Oh man. We've made it to the competition! I don't know why everyone hates Randy. Who else is going to reach that elusive demographic of people who only understand 2 words and 4 random noises/grunts? 

It's Michael Jackson night and that could mean only one thing: I predict over 50 percent suckage. (Actual suckage percentage after the performances)

Lil Rounds - "The Way You Make Me Feel" - Lil Rounds likes to change the words of songs to sound adorable. So does Weird Al. Her pants are making her rounds the opposite of lil, though. I thought it was good overall. She's more than safe.

Scott MacIntyre - "Keep The Faith" - I fell asleep before the first note was over. He's not a pop star. He's got a future on Lite FM. His voice is fine and he tickles ivories like a polite elephant poacher. (That was a bigger reach than Manute Bol going for a rebound. [That was also a stretch in the vain of Mr. Armstrong.] ) Is it me or does he look like a Mike Myers character that's constantly mugging for the camera? He'll be fine because he's blind and he wasn't terrible. There will be terrible.

Danny Gokey - "P.Y.T." - He is going for it. This is awesome. He enjoys the moment and will be safe. Also, his wife is not living anymore.

Michael Sarver - "You Are Not Alone" - I have a feeling this is the first bad across-the-board judgment. Lots of "You're a nice guy" coming. I was wrong. What did the judges see? It was boring. He's safe and this will postpone his History Channel reality show, Warbling Roughnecks. (Followed by the Season Premiere of Ax Men)

Jasmine Murray - "I'll Be There" - Skinny Mo'Nique has won the high school talent show for the second week in a row. I don't think it was that great. She might be in trouble.

Qrisse Allen - "Remember The Time" - He has the same leg movements as Dave Matthews. That's the second time I've mentioned Dave Matthews' legs in these Idol blogs. I thought he was good and sounded a little Jason Mraz-like at times. Damn it! Randy said the same thing as I typed that. I have to get a CAT scan to make sure my frontal lobe is missing. That would be the only way to justify this accord.

Allison Iraheta - "Give In To Me" - She's so good. It's scary. They really gave her a Kelly Clarkson makeover. Really ramming that comparison home, eh stylists? Eh? Plus I thought her line about not being too dark and cutting herself was hilarious. She does have a personality. She's coasting.

Anoop Desai - "Beat It" - They made Anoop look so tough. I don't know who would win in a fight, Michael Jackson in his red studded jacket or Anoop with his turned up collar. Either way, he had fun and that's code for should be going home.

Jorge Nunez - "Never Can Say Goodbye" - Oh, Jorge. Your last name is so exciting with the tilde AND the accent mark (Who has that?) but this was so boring. I, with Simon, could not wait for it to end. He went from one of the most likable to the worst. Might be going home.

Megan Corkrey - "Rockin' Robin" - Spiggles' mom is hot like her. Holy crap. I think I have beer hearing aids because she can do no wrong with this blogger. She deserves to be around for awhile. And she cawed. She cawed at the end. The judges were not pleased but she's safe. Look at her.

Adam Lambert - "Black and White" - Crikey. I can't figure him out. He's good at Adam Lambert but I don't know if I like Adam Lambert. The judges thought he was the best of the week. I'm still not on his bandwagon but he's more than safe. As an aside, can you hit notes that don't exist? My one dog does bark when Adam sings so maybe he can.

Matt Giraud - "Human Nature" - I thought it was a little boring. He sang it well but the arrangement was rough. The judges liked it and thought it was good enough to move on.

Alexis Grace - "Dirty Diana" - She sang strong and tried a little too hard but she's so good and she belongs on the show. My fear for her is the strange phone number they had to give her because they couldn't get "IDOLS 13." She might be in trouble because of that.

Since 2 are going home, I think it will be Jorge and Jasmine with a spoiler of Alexis because of the phone number thing.

Suckage Percentage: 5/13 (Way to prove me wrong, Idols)

American Idol - Top 36 (Wild Card)

We will get our final 3. My money's on Anoop, Megan, and Matt. There are rumors of a Top 13 but I'll stick to picking 3.

Jesse Langseth - "Tell Me Something Good" - I don't think the judges will be telling her...something...uh...you know the rest. Kara and Paula said that it was sexy but I think it looked more like she was having sex than being sexy. I kinda wanted them to pixelate her at points. A little skeevy. Probably not a Wild Card choice.

Matt Giraud - "Who's Lovin' You" - It started off really good and then he "riffed" way too much. At times it was amazing and other times it was overkill. He really wanted it and he sang his butt off. He showed every note he can hit (or almost hit). That's all you can ask after the Coldplay debacle. Simon said he reminded him of Taylor Hicks. I saw a little Ray Charles myself. He should got one of the spots.

Megan Corkrey - "Black Horse And a Cherry Tree" - I dropped the joy from her name because she dropped the joy tonight. It was not good but I just like her so much! I want to squeeze her until her tattoo comes off. The song choice was right but she is limited vocally. However, she got the Simon endorsement so she might be back. In fact, I'm going to be positive. Spiggles will be back! Who doesn't want to see that dance again? Girl's got guilty feet (comment if you get the reference).

Von Smith - "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word" - The beginning is rough but he'll belt it out to make it better. He's like Anwar from Season 4. Rough until the big notes. The judges thought it was too serious, even dark. His face during the judgment showed that he knew he blew it. Maybe he's better off shouting. He could make tons on a subway platform. Those trains are loud.

Jasmine Murray - "Reflection" - She didn't go with Rihanna. I would have put money on that. She was really good and controlled. I liked it a lot and I'm now worried about my 3 prelim picks. Simon thinks she could be in. I have to agree. Side note: If she doesn't make the Top 12, she can always be the "After" photo if Mo'Nique gets an endorsement from Jenny Craig and she doesn't feel like putting in the effort.

Thanks, Jenny Craig!

Ricky Braddy - "Superstition" - Bring it, tight pants! Skinny Jeans never stood a chance tonight. I actually thought he was good but you could tell the judges wanted nothing to do with him. I guess I'll skip to the next singer just like the judges did.

Tatiana Del Toro - "Saving All My Love For You" - Didn't she sing this last time? I love that it's awful. I love it. I love love love it. I love that I love that I love it. Kiss me, awful singing. Kiss me. When she reached towards the screen on the last note, I thought she was going to come through the screen and kill me a la The Ring. Also, she picked up an accent because she noticed it worked for Jorge Nunez. Psycho. She's crazy crazy. Like carve "American Idol 4 Eva" into her chest and then use the ink from a Bic pen to fill it in crazy. The farce needs to end now.

Anoop Desai - "My Prerogative" - Oh, Anoop. I actually did not like this at all but the judges did which I think is awesome. I like Anoop and feel he can come into his own as the contest continues. I really hope this doesn't come off as racist but he seems like a combination of every character Kal Penn has ever played. He's got the suaveness of Kumar. He's got the heart of Kutner. He's got the he-could-go-into-a-crazy-rant-at-any-time twinkle in his eye of Taj. Plus, I loved when he wasn't sure what Randy meant by Anoop Brown Dawg. He'll get a spot.

And the Wild Cards go to...

Jasmine Murray (Gastric Bypass Mo'Nique deserved it)

Megan Corkrey (Spiggles!)

Matt Giraud (Now that he's in and can use half of his dueling pianos, he can be a force)

Anoop Desai (Lucky 13)

That's it for me this week. I can't wait for this competition to really start so we can think things like "How did we let that person in?" or "I remember her singing a lot better" or "Why did they do 13? There's barely 5 good ones" and the like.

American Idol - Top 36 (Week 3)

I apologize for this not going up yesterday but I had a bunch of stuff to get done and did not watch Idol until late last night. And even though I picked the three who made it, I figured you wouldn't believe me based on the posting's timestamp. When will we have trust, readers? When? This is going to be a long one. It will be split into Performances, Results, and Wild Card Thoughts.

PERFORMANCES

Von Smith - "You're All I Need To Get By" - It was pretty good. I thought it was rough at the beginning but then he hit some solid notes. Simon said he had a Clay Aiken vibe but I felt more of an Ed Grimley vibe. He apparently has a huge fan base and may get in the Top 12 based on that. Should he get in the Top 12? I don't know but he didn't shout the song so he's improving.

Von? Is that you?

Taylor Vaifuna - "If I Ain't Got You" - Bad song choice. Alicia Keys is never the right move. Aren't you supposed to learn that after 8 seasons? The percentage of people who have gotten favorable judge reactions for doing Alicia Keys has to be around 4. She didn't sing fast enough. Maybe she was singing slower to make the band slow down and, thus, maximize her time on the show since tonight's it for her. Good strategy.

Alex Wagner-Trugman - "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" - If they let you into the Top 12 based on effort, this guy should get in. They don't. Still, he put everything he had into it and growled like the T-Rex in Toy Story before Buzz Lightyear gave him the confidence he needed. He's not getting in but he was enjoyable at least.

Arianna Afsar - "The Winner Takes It All" - ABBA has never been done on Idol. Hmmmm. At least she's aware of who takes it all and I hope she will congratulate that person in 12 weeks. Also, she's a button.

Ju'not Joyner - "Hey There, Delilah" - He sang it in Hollywood Week which makes me already need it to be better than it will be. He turned it into a ballad. The problem is that it's not a very good song which is why the Plain White Ts sing it faster. The only reason this was bearable was his singing. He has pipes. He also has a handcuff hanging from his pants. What was that doing there?

Kristen McNamara - "Give Me One Reason" - I thought this was a safe choice. It's a cool song and she sang it but it didn't give her a chance to belt out more than a handful of notes. She should have been one of the top girls but she missed the chance. Maybe a Wild Card for potential but they're already handing out a lot of those.

Nathaniel Marshall - "I Would Do Anything For Love" - So tonight he has Meatloaf on his skin. I believe that's called shingles. He has a special look. I kept hoping Buffy would come and ram a stake in his chest. That kind of evil does not belong on the stage. I was surprised Simon did not call it cruise shippy or theme parky.

Felicia Barton - "No One" - She made it because Joanna Pacitti was disqualified. With her second chance, she is singing...Alicia Keys. Does she not read the blog I haven't put up yet? Anyway, she modeled her look after Alicia Keys in Smokin' Aces minus the lesbianism with Benjamin Button's mom. But does looking like the singer make you sound like the singer? Actually, it did. She was good and bumped that 4 percent up to 5. She may make the Top 12.

Scott MacIntyre - "Mandolin Rain" - He's blind, right? Cause he sang like I would picture Marlee Matlin sings at times. I know that seems mean but what I did was I took all the criticism the judges should have given him and combined them into one mean comment. He's an adult contemporary singer who will have a career. I don't doubt that. Should he keep going in this competition? It would be heartless to say no. So no.

Kendall Beard - "This One's For The Girls" - I'm not a country fan but I thought she did a good job. Will take the girl spot away from the future Alicia Keys black jack dealer at the Imperial Palace in Las Vegas? Probably. For me, she is currently the top girl but Lil Rounds is still to come.

Jorge Nunez - "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" - He may look like a 24 villain but he sings like an angel. He had genuine tears when Paula started crying. He's in the Top 12 guaranteed.

Lil Rounds - "Be Without You" - She has a huge voice. She knows she has a huge voice and that she's a favorite and yet, she comes off as humble. Impressive. She enjoys the moment and it shows. Even Simon was nodding his head. She's through.

Predictions - Scott MacIntyre, Jorge Nunez, and Lil Rounds

RESULTS

The group song was horrendous. "Hot and Cold" does not sound good when Katy Perry sings it, let alone when 12 awkwardly-put-together people do. Let's move on to who got in.

Lil Rounds - Of course she got in. Even Idol couldn't figure out a way to make it suspenseful so they put her through right away.

Scott MacIntyre - Paper beats rock. Rock beats scissors. And blind beats country. Side note: My wife was fascinated with how Scott knew to look towards the camera during the dance number. I think we are heading towards a "Scott can see" conspiracy theory in the Tor household. Further side note: This is the reason our kids have no chance of being not disabled in some or many ways. Karma's a bastard.

Jorge Nunez - He was so happy and he deserved it. I'm not sure what he said in Spanish but I think I heard the word "apple" so there's that.

WILD CARD THOUGHTS

They picked eight wild cards that will sing for three spots tonight. This gives them better odds than in previous weeks. I know my fractions. Oddly, only one person got a spot from Week 3 even though I thought Week 3 was the best overall for performances. Here are the eight:

Von Smith - He can sing when he doesn't overdo it. The world doesn't need another Scream sequel. (Both in his singing and the movie. That's why the line works.)

Jasmine Murray - She's cute and she can sing. She messed up on the Sara Bareilles song but I expect her to be back and singing a Rihanna song. That's what the judges basically told her to do. American Idol needs Umbrella. I'm available for the Jay-Z part.

Ricky Braddy - He was the best singer that didn't get voted in. Simon doesn't really like him and that's why. Hopefully he can turn that around. You do need Simon's backing to win this competition.

Megan Corkrey - The Spiggler is back! (That would be my new nickname for her, a smush-together of Spastic Wiggler. It'll catch on.) I really enjoyed her and I think I have a crush. My wife's ok with it. Go Spiggler!

Tatiana Del Toro - This is a total ratings pick. It makes me so mad. I don't want to say anymore.

Matt Giraud - He deserved another shot based on his "Georgia On My Mind." I confuse him with Ricky Braddy sometimes and I think American Idol only has room for one of them. Some part of me wants him to create a love child with Braddy so I don't have to decide. I'll vote for Macky Giraddy.

Jesse Langseth - If only she would come back to Daniel Faraday, the way she comes back to our living rooms. Oh well. She was good and it will be good to see what she does with a second chance. Well, if all the previous second chances on Idol are any indication, I predict terribly.

Anoop Desai - I'm glad Anoop's back and he seemed genuinely shocked and thankful that he's getting another shot. I'm pulling for Anoop.

My preliminary three, sans performances, would be Anoop Desai, Megan Corkrey, and Matt Giraud. Be back tomorrow to see if we're right.

American Idol - Top 36 (Week 2) Part 2

There isn't much to say. The group came out and sang "Closer" by Ne-Yo. Seeing the two-eyed Cyclops hip hop bounce was worth not fast forwarding. Advancing into the Top 12:

Allison "Two-Face" Iraheta - She was easily the best of the night for me with the exception of her interview but she'll get more comfortable. Did anyone else notice that her legs got cold from the opening of the show to when she was in the stool? She went from normal-colored legs to grey legs during commercial break. Should I have noticed that? Let's move on.

Kris "Chick Magnet" Allen - He got the Simon bump and probably knocked out Megan Corkrey. "Man in the Mirror" is such a weird song. I haven't heard it since we sang it as a class for 3rd Grade Parent Night and I still knew all of the words. How is that possible? Anyway, this wasn't a bad choice. He can sing but I'm not a fan of his name beginning with a K. For the rest of his time on this blog, he will be known as Qrisse. That'll teach his parents not to make mistakes like this anymore.

Adam "Siren Harpie" Lambert - I was somewhat pleased that his second version of "Satisfaction" was not an exact copy of the first version. Maybe he's not a musical robot. He's got a tremendous voice but I'm still not sure if I like him. Since I judge books by their covers, I'm going to let the Idol stylists make him more palatable in my eyes over the coming weeks.

Who should get the Wild Card? I think Megan Corkrey. She's fun. She has an odd stage dance that's the most fun, awkward thing to watch since Dave Matthews started that leg thing he does in the 90s. I know I was pushing for Matt Giraud yesterday but I don't think he's in. There are only so many spots left.