American Idol Season 9 - Top 5 (Elimination)

And then there were 2.

Wait, I got ahead of myself. Big Mike and Casey are still around. I advanced the show to its logical conclusion before the producers got to do it. Think I'm being silly, though? How much were Big Mike and Aaron involved in the Ford commercial or the medleys? Not much. The judges are so pro-Lee that they haven't commented on his pitch problems since pre-Top 12. I've read many American Idol blogs talking about his pitch problems. I don't claim to know about singing in tune. However, I did hear a bad note or two when I rewatched this week's show. Still, they want him in the finals and Crystal too. No amount of love for Big Mike is going to change that or shots of Casey's butt for that matter.

There was no Bottom 3 this week.

Bottom 2:

Big Mike - The voting public must love pork because that's the only way to explain how this ham has made it this far. He will have another week of Randy praising him and America not voting for him. It really bothers me how much joy his wife shows in his survival while someone else's dream is shattered. I swear significant others in the past have shown much more subtlety in their celebrations of earning another week. Though, I wouldn't expect Big Mike to marry someone who is subtle. That's like a bear marrying an unsubtle bear.

Aaron Kelly - I never liked him but he's in the right place for Idol losers - country. If you don't win Idol, it is best to go country. This isn't a knock on the type of music but former Idol contestants have found solid careers in country music.

1. Kelly Pickler - She has won actual awards!?!?
2. Josh Gracin - He was the marine.
3. Bucky Covington - He was not very good but he's apparently good now!
4. Phil Stacey - Bet you never thought you'd see his lemur-like face again.
5. Kristy Lee Cook - She's got some looks to her...
6. Danny Gokey - Really??

Final Thoughts: We are a week away from getting to hear Lee and Crystal sing twice. That's something to look forward to. I have no other thoughts other than the fact that I love Lady Gaga. For me, for you, this wasn't her best performance but I'm still a fan. She just entertains. She can sing the phone book or monotone speak the phone book. It doesn't matter. I love when she takes the stage. I wish she would mentor. Maybe next season.

American Idol - Top 3 (Part 2)

Dear Danny,

To say my feelings for you have changed since I started blogging this season of American Idol would be a nice way of putting it. It's not your fault that the judges were incapable of giving you any negative comments except for the occasional "clumsy" or "too much swagger." You and Adam were their favorite and, conspiracy theories about Simon helping you through so his March prediction on Leno would be correct aside, you used to be my favorite. Therefore, I feel it's only right that I go back in time and ask March Kevin to write the goodbye.

Sincerely,

Current Kevin

~~SCENE~~

Current Kevin gets in a time machine and goes back to March 18. He walks into March Kevin.

March Kevin

What the-

Current Kevin

There's no time for that. I'm you from the future.

March Kevin

I guess not very far in the future.

Current Kevin

I'm from May. I need you to write a letter saying goodbye to Danny Gokey from American Idol for the blog. He got voted off in Top 3 week.

March Kevin

You have a time machine and this is what you use it for. Did something happen to me that resulted in brain damage? I'd like to avoid it.

Current Kevin

Look, can you do it? I wanted Danny to get a nice send-off and I can't do it because I don't like him anymore.

March Kevin

Wow. You did have an accident. How could you not like Danny?

Current Kevin

You'll see. Just write the letter. Do it for Danny.

March Kevin sits down and writes the letter. He hands it to Current Kevin.

Current Kevin

Well, good luck to you.

March Kevin

So how are the Mets doing?

Current Kevin

Ok.

March Kevin

Oliver Perez?

Current Kevin

Just as you feared. Farewell.

Current Kevin gets back in the time machine.

~~END SCENE~~

This is what March Me wrote:

Dear Danny,

I was saddened to hear that you will be voted off American Idol. I have enjoyed the performances of yours that I have seen. I'm guessing it's a travesty that you are not going to make the Finals. Seriously, though, what happened? You were the front runner. I heard Qkcrisseette got in over you. How did that happen? What did you do? Did you stop playing the wife card? I'm just baffled. I just watched you sing "Jesus Take The Wheel" and it was fantastic. You deserve better than third in my book. Well, my March book. You will be missed when the time comes for me to miss you. Make a great album, Gokes.

Sincerely,

March Kevin

Final Thoughts: I forgot that I called him Gokes. Wow, that takes me back. I was as shocked as Kris when they said he was safe. I am so happy. Now, it doesn't matter who wins. I get my money's worth of Kris and we move on. Though, as much as I like Kris, how awful would a Kris/Danny finale have been? Eek. Lowest ratings ever. Danny had a great run and he will sell some records. I see him having an Elliot Yamin-like career even though that doesn't seem to fit him. Then again, it doesn't fit what I saw for Elliot either. See you next week when Adam takes the crown and Kris gets to sing three more songs. Everybody wins!

American Idol - Top 3 (Part 1)

Each contestant got to sing two songs tonight. The first song is a judge's choice and the second song is a personal one. But wait. You say there are four judges and three contestants. How is that going to work? I'm glad you asked. When Kara and Randy are focused and on their game, they combine to equal one mediocre representative of the record industry. Now, do you see how it works out? (Also of note, Kara was not focused and on her game tonight.)

Danny Gokey - "Dance Little Sister" - It was very shouty. It seemed to all be in the upper part of Danny's register or the "Gruff Zone" as I like to call it. I went on YouTube and watched the Terence Trent D'Arby version and this is what it sounds like, gruff and all. So, once again, Danny did a good job of sounding like the original version and no, I will not count the scat with the saxophone thing as original. That's a throw in and we are not searching for the next Scatman John. The judges loved it even though they weren't big on the song choice.

Kris Allen - "Apologize" - When I heard that Kris was singing this, I made the same face he did when he got the text message from Kara and Randy. This was pure sabotage. We all know he's not moving on but to make him sing a song that's out of his range is garbage. I thought he did a good job considering you could tell he wanted nothing to do with the song. When he stayed out of his falsetto in the parts of the song that go falsetto, it sounded really cool. Then, on top of making him sing an awful song (for him), Kara got on his case for doing it too much like the original!?! They only have a couple of days to put it all together especially with going to their hometowns. Where was he going to find the time to learn the song and make it his own? At least Simon was the voice of reason and scolded Kara for complaining. Kara is an evil harpy with a lack of brain cells. Bad combination. This was the equivalent of telling Kris to pull her finger and then complaining that it smells. 

Adam Lambert - "One" - It seemed like a mess once he got passed the opening few lines. I thought it started well and then got weird. Then I wanted it to end, so much so that I yearned to hear the U2 version and I can't stand U2. It doesn't matter though. Adam is in the Finals. He could bomb miserably on the next song and still make it. Apparently, Simon helped Adam arrange the song which I didn't know Simon was capable of. Simon and Kara got in a genuine argument in which Kara did a terrible British accent to mock Simon. I think Kara could have had him if she only finished with "I know you are but what am I?" or "So's your face" but I don't think such advanced forms of rebuttal are in her arsenal.

Danny Gokey - "You Are So Beautiful" - He's trying for tender and sounding like his voice is giving up. He came strong at the end like usual but what about the beginning? Good thing he's preordained in the finals so he could do the song with armpit farts and move on. The judges loved it. (sarcasm from this point on) Really? Crazy. I never would have thought it. Danny is the greatest singer this competition has ever known. His effort alone is enough to advance. I wish he could sing me to sleep at night.

Kris Allen - "Heartless" - That was amazing. Brilliant. I went back and watched it two more times. I want this version on my iPod stat. Two things: 1. I'm aware of the similarities to The Fray's version but, after listening to it, this is different enough and sung much better. 2. I knew Kara was going to substitute praise for scolding. Instead of saying it was great, she took the time to complain that he didn't do this for "Apologize." She's the worst. She needs an entry in Dickipedia. 

Adam Lambert - "Cryin'" - Remember that thing I said about tanking the second song and still getting in the Finals? Well, he set out to prove that theory. Wow, this was a mess. The background singer was ruining it even more than Adam was. I kinda miss his first song now. Truthfully, I know I've been anti-Adam from the beginning but this felt like his worst night. I still think he deserves the Finals based on his overall oeuvre.

Final Thoughts: Adam is safe no matter what. Simon ensured it by urging people to vote for him and not assume he's there. Sometimes I like to asskararandy. (Think about it.) That leaves Danny and Kris. Based on how easily my wife was getting through on Kris' lines, it doesn't look good. I don't understand how Danny could be so immune to criticism all season. It doesn't make sense. Is he a good singer? Yes. Does he make the songs his own? Not really. If this was Season 1, Danny would coast to the Finals but American Idol has evolved into a musical talent and singing competition. You still need to be able to sing but you have to bring more like Kris does. Unfortunately, it looks like Kris is done bringing it. It appears it's already been broughten. Sigh.

Going Home: Kris Allen

American Idol - Top 4 (Part 2)

Dear Allison,

You will be missed. You won me over with your "Alone" performance in Top 36 Week. I remember thinking it was going to be a disaster and then you rocked it. Your red hair was reminiscent of the head wrap on the Mumm-Ra action figure from my youth but probably more plastic.

See?

You gave amazing performance after amazing performance and you deserved better than 4th place. Then again, some great people finished 4th in the past (Chris Daughtry, Tamyra Gray, Jason Castro). Like you, they were all beloved and a shocking exit. 

Now, it's time you learn something from this. Never stick up for yourself. You held back every week amidst the ridiculously unfounded judges' comments and you advanced. Then you had enough of Simon, Kara, and Randy's nitpicking and you spoke up. Dumb. As Ryan reminds us every week, "THIS...is A-MER-ican Idol." You don't talk back to the judges. You don't try to take away a spot from the pre-chosen finalists (Adam and Danny). And you don't get credit for being original because you are a woman. But you're 17. Much too young to know this. 

So good luck to you. Hopefully, you'll put out an album. I'll buy it.

Sincerely,

Someone you don't know

Final Thoughts: This was an awful week on American Idol. Allison was called a soundalike for her Janis Joplin performance while Adam was called an original rock god for his copy of a Led Zeppelin song. Adam sounded great but he got too much credit this week. Still, he has grown on me and I'm fine with him in the Top 3. Danny was awful. The worst performance by a Top 4 Idol ever. It's wrong that he's still around. Unfortunately, this is what the judges wanted at this point. Allison should have pulled a Tom Hanks in "Saving Private Ryan" and pulled Danny's plaid shirt yelling "Earn this!" It's wrong that so many Idols had to die for Danny to be in the Top 3. See you next week when Kris is voted off. I'd say not to bother with the performances but I want to see him do 2 more songs.

American Idol - Top 4 (Part 1)

Rock Week brought Slash as the Idol Mentor. Slash was very cool. He cooled his way through the whole mentoring process. I think he really brought a level of cool out of the performers tonight. I know the editors cut it up so we don't see everything but I think I could have done that job. The only thing he did was intimidate some of them. I could have held a gun and told them to sing next to me and gotten the same effect. I may be wrong but look at the performances. Last week's mentor was great and the show was one of the best ever. This week's was unhelpful and it was my least favorite of the season.

Adam Lambert - "Whole Lotta Love" - This is the music I'm thinking he should be making. It was shouty but so was Zeppelin. Overall, it was good but what was with the outfit? It was like the outfit Michael Jackson would wear if he was asked to be in one of the Blade movies. 

Allison Iraheta - "Cry Baby" - She went to Adam's hair girl? This wouldn't be disturbing if she didn't say that Adam's been going to her for 2 years. Am I going about show biz all wrong? Should I have assistants even when I'm nobody? It's like dressing for the job you want. I should be entouraging for the fame status I want. Anyway, I actually thought Allison was ok. She sounded great. Simon gave her some trouble and she snapped back at him which I think is what he was going for, the little puppet master.

Kris Allen & Danny Gokey - "Renegade" - I don't even know what happened here. I guess the producers came up with the idea to do a couple of duets this week. This one was uncomfortable. Kris and Danny don't have powerful rock voices. They tried but it just made them sound bad and provided no momentum with the judges (or me) for the solos. 

Kris Allen - "Come Together" - I'm going to do a Randy on this. When I heard Kris was doing "Come Together," I was like, "Oh, man. I don't know." But you know what? He worked it out. Not really. It was fine but I think that was because I'm a huge Kris fan. I have a feeling it wasn't very good at all. I was hoping he would reverse David Cook it. Take a heavy song and lighten it up. Any rock song would have sounded so cool slowed down like he can do. I was disappointed in Kris and I hope it's not the end of him.

Danny Gokey - "Dream On" - Oof. That last note might be the thing that saves Kris from elimination. That was putrid. It was like somebody asked him to do his best cicada impression. Oof. Danny seems full of himself. I fought it off because I liked him so much in the beginning of the show but he was awful tonight. Steven Tyler? He thinks he can sing like Steven Tyler?!? It would be one thing to sing the song and make it your own. He tried. To sing it. Like Steven Tyler?!? He will be in the Bottom 3.

Allison Iraheta & Adam Lambert - "Slow Ride" -   It was really good. I'm thankful the producers put these two together and didn't split them to embarrass Kris and Danny. Adam was in control. He didn't overdo it and Allison brought the power vocals. (I notice the more I watch American Idol, the more I use terms like "power vocals" and "pipes" when I have no business using them. American Idol brings out my inner record promoter.)

Bottom Three: I think Adam will be the safe one this week. He was the best of the four by an unfortunately large amount. That leaves Allison, Kris, and Danny as the Bottom 3. Allison should be fine because she was not beat up by the judges as much. So that leaves Kris or Danny going home. Kris is more talented but Danny has never been in the Bottom 3. Can you go from season-long safe straight to home? I hope so but I doubt it. Cicada Man stays and my favorite leaves.

Going Home: Kris Allen

American Idol - Top 5 (Part 2)

The results came in and WOW. Talk about being wrong. I wasn't even close tonight and I'm glad about it but we'll get to that in a second. First, I'm glad to see the Idols singing the medley instead of lip synching. When they all have careers on Broadway, they are going to have to sing and move around as a group. It's just good practice. 

Natalie Cole looks more and more like her father every day. Not the way he used to look. The way he looks now. (EDIT: I'm leaving this in to show what a jerk I am but Natalie Cole is in need of a kidney transplant and is on dialysis 3 times a week. I'm awful.) Taylor Hicks played something really quickly and muted based on how I watched it. And Jamie Foxx auto-tuned away his genuinely good singing voice. It was a poor night for superstar guests. 

One more thing: Did Simon make me like him again with his praise for Danny and Allison and his other comments at the end? I think he did. I can never stay mad at you, Cowell.

BOTTOM 3:

Kris Allen - Kris does not belong here. I was definitely surprised but he was the first one sent back to the safety couch. Guess that iTunes leak wasn't a good gauge for the public's voting. If you can't trust that, what can you trust? Now, I know how Jack Bauer feels. I'm still going to download Kris' performance off Tony Almeida - I mean, iTunes.

Adam Lambert - This was the biggest shock since the flash forward episode of "Lost." My jaw dropped as much as Kara's. Should I wait for Randy and Simon's immature gigglefest or continue with my blog? I'll continue. I cannot believe he was in the Bottom 2. This brought me joy. I know there are huge Adam Lambert fans and he can truly sing but I'm so glad. An American Idol should be a genuine performer not an actor that can sing. Good job, America. This is pure payback for picking sides in the "Which group do you think you belong in?" crap they do every season.

Matt Giraud - He was the one that should have gone home this week. He was so elusive though. He was turning American Idol in "Final Destination 5." (I can't believe there are four of them, either.) He made it really far and he gave a great performance but the other Idols were simply better than him.

Final Thought: Danny and Allison? I'm so happy for Allison but I am definitely confused by what happened. In all fairness, when my mom asked me who the best ones were this week, I said Danny and Allison. It's just surprising that this happened. Does this mean that supposed frontrunner Adam will be making a Chris Daughtry-like fourth place exit? Can Kris overcome Danny for the Finals? Did I just put Allison in the driver's seat? Well she is 17 now. See you next week.

American Idol - Top 5 (Part 1)

It's Rat Pack Week. The host for Rat Pack Week...Jamie Foxx. I was confused by this but I will never doubt Jamie Foxx again. How can you? Look at all he's accomplished. After watching him with the Idols, I felt like I could do anything with Jamie Foxx at my side. Is he rentable?

Kris Allen - "The Way You Look Tonight" - It was so beautiful. Like him. I said it. He's a beautiful person. You wanna fight? A recent leak on iTunes showed he's the second-most downloaded Idol (after Adam). How can he not be in the finals? Except Simon, the judges loved him tonight. Why does Simon hate him so much? He doesn't think he can win the competition? He's the only guy who's album I would buy. Jamie Foxx agrees.

Allison Iraheta - "Someone To Watch Over Me" - Ever since I read that she adds an 'H' in front of some words in her phrasing, it's glaring. "Someone to hwatch over meeeee." It's like when Stewie does the Kool HWhip thing on Family Guy. 

But she still sings amazingly. I just wish I had never had that pointed out. The judges liked it but that doesn't seem to matter. While Paula has been tremendously better this year, she is still awkward. I figured out what it was. Paula has an multi-syllable-adjective-a-day calendar. Alluring? Stellar? I'm on to you, Abdul.

Matt Giraud - "My Funny Valentine" - Jaime Foxx fixed him! Wow. He snuck in a falsetto at the end but it was fine. This was probably my favorite Matt performance since "Georgia." I didn't know he could sing that well. It makes me question what else I don't know about the world. Should I be eating beets? Is it time to start reading the Twilight books? Do my dogs need more attention? Jamie Foxx, thank you. Because of this, I will see "The Soloist"...on DVD.

Danny Gokey - "Come Rain Or Come Shine" - This week is ridiculously good. I said that Danny needed a magical performance in last week's blog and he went for it. The end was arranged differently and I really liked it. Though Danny usually tends to leave you thinking a performance was better than it was by blowing out the ending with huge singing. However, this time I believe it was a good performance. Also, I think that hand gesture during the phone numbers was supposed to be a heart but it looked like a bean. Do a better heart, Danny.

Adam Lambert - "Feelin' Good" - Hair down. Didn't like it. The trend continues. It was over the top. The arrangement was rough. It was so theatrical like always. And then for Simon to say that theatrical is fine because that's who he is. How do all the awesome theatrical singers of Idol past feel about that statement? I'm done with Simon. He's wet. He's indulgent. He needs to leave the show or start critiquing the actual performance on stage and not giving a prepared response leading to a predetermined Finals of Adam and Danny! Where am I? 

Bottom Three: This is tough because you have to put people that you like in the Bottom 3. I predict Allison, Matt, and Danny. I really think Kris is more popular than Danny even though he has one of those living wives. Matt isn't one of the top two popular people and neither is Allison (she wasn't even top four last week). As much as I hate to do it, I think it is time for Allison to take her red hair and go. We get one more week of the Mole Man. I hope I'm wrong. I hope I'm so wrong.

Going Home: Allison Iraheta 

American Idol - Top 7 (Part 3)

It should be the Top 6 but they saved Matt Giraud last week so we have 7 again. However, two will go home this week and all will be well again. Was it me or did Ryan mail in the "THIS is A-MER-ican Idol?" There should be a good ten second pause between "THIS" and "is." Disappointing. It's disco week and I expected awful. Did I get it?

Lil Rounds - "I'm Every Woman" - She finally gave the judges what they wanted in song choice and it still didn't work for her. I hate when I agree with Randy because it means I may have had a stroke or regressed back to the age of 15 months. Regardless, I did feel this was all over the place and simply not good. She tried to put too much Lil into it without having a plan. If there was an upside, this was her best wig. Hands down.

Kris Allen - "She Works Hard For The Money" - It was so good. He's back (as he should be) in the "Who's going to be in the finals with Adam?" talk. The judges tried to ruin Kris' chances again by babbling like children but at least they ended on praise. I can't wait for his album.

Danny Gokey - "September" - He has not been that great for a couple of weeks now. This was a little boring for an upbeat song. I agree with Simon that he doesn't seem to have a special moment in him. He comes out and sings a song well and that's it. I'm running out of love for the Gokes.

Allison Iraheta - "Hot Stuff" - She rocked out Hot Stuff. I agree that it was a weird arrangement but she stayed true to herself. Oh no. Did I just say that? It wasn't karaoke or pitchy. What's happening? For her, for me, that wouldn't have happened on a cruise ship or in a hotel lobby. Make it stop. It was authentic Allison. She knows who she is as an artist. Mommy. Give that girl a phonebook. I have to go.

Adam Lambert - "If I Can't Have You" - His hair was in "Kevin's going to enjoy this one" mode. It's like Robin Williams' beard and an Oscar nomination. It just happens. It was really good. True to his hair. Kara said he looks like a cross between the guy from Saturday Night Live and Clark Kent. Some people are going to get on her because they think she meant Saturday Night Fever but I see it. There's some Chris Kattan in there. I'm with you Kara.

Matt Giraud - "Stayin' Alive" - I'll take a cue and do this Simon-style. "No, he's not." He tried really hard again. When he goes into a falsetto, it hurts my head. It has been good to see him go from cocky in the auditions to giving it his all each week. I still think he's going home with Lil but he deserves to go home second.

Anoop Desai - "Dim All The Lights" - The stylists really got him ready to try out for a Wham tribute band. That or he needs to catch that time machine if he wants to make his audition for Miami Vice. Hurry, Anoop! He can sing and Top 5 is nothing to be ashamed of.

Bottom Three: I'm feeling Lil, Matt, and Anoop. Anoop has been in the bottom three the last few weeks and with there not being many weeks left, that should change. To be fair, Anoop is not far behind Danny but I still think Danny is better. Though, if Anoop does well next week and Danny continues his decline, anything can happen. Remember Chris Daughtry? There's not much left to say about Lil and Matt. I said it all last week. Time to go home.

Going Home: Lil Rounds and Matt Giraud

American Idol - Top 8 (Part 1)

It's Songs From The Year You Were Born" Week. I remember when I first started watching Idol, some of the songs were from before I was born. Now, I think some were from last week. I'm so glad they got rid of the judges' entrance. That was like when the bridal party enters the reception but with even more forced applause and no promise of good food at the end. This week, I'm going to review the performance and then put what song that person should have done (if they picked the wrong song) or could have done (if they picked the right song but I wanted to hear another one).

Danny Gokey - "Stand By Me" - This was a terrible arrangement of the song. It started off good but the middle was totally mailed in and then the end was better. This was not that great of a performance for Gokes. The judges liked it, as usual, but he has been hit or miss lately. Also, isn't it cheating to find a cover for a song you like? If he wanted to do "Stand By Me," he should have done the right thing and been born in 1961. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Bette Midler's "The Rose"

Kris Allen - "All She Wants To Do Is Dance" - He's in the middle of the crowd like Matt last week. Not a cool spot. Why did he pick this song? I enjoyed it but the judges did not and why should they? They won't praise Kris because he wasn't one of the three they picked on Leno (Danny, Adam, Lil). After last week's amazing performance, he was screwed this week no matter what. Also, Simon needs to give up on the word indulgent. Simon has not been great this year. Too busy flirting with Paula to give his usual correct assessment. SHOULD HAVE DONE: John Waite's "Missing You"

Lil Rounds - "What's Love Got To Do With It?" - This is the best Lil has been in my opinion. Her look was better though leather vests belong on someone leaning against a hog outside the Broken Spoke Saloon. Oddly, the judges were not impressed. They ripped her to shreds again. Can she take it anymore? This was the first time she said "If there's a next time..." as opposed to "Next week, I'll do better." Not looking good for Lil. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Lionel Richie's "Hello" or Phil Collins' "Against All Odds"

Anoop Desai - "True Colors" - Wow, Anoop! I thought you were on your way out. It was beautiful. So good. I loved Anoop's reaction after Randy said, "Dude, you can really sing." It was like, "Gee thanks, jerkoff. Yeah, and I had sex with your wife and you're still fat." Anoop is the first contestant to wear on his face the realization that all the judges (even Simon sometimes) are idiots. COULD HAVE DONE: Eddie Murphy's "Party All The Time" 

Scott MacIntyre - "The Search Is Over" - This was awful. I wanted it to stop. That near the end note was something special (in that it came from a special person?). He needs to go home before I get meaner and crueler. I can't take hearing Kara and Paula stumble to find complements for an awful performance. Send him home. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Chaka Khan's "I Feel For You" (See? I need him to go home.)

Allison Iraheta - "I Can't Make You Love Me" - They can't stop Kelly Clarkson-ing her red hair. It's distracting. The performance was really good. After last week's ok No Doubt, she came back strong. She is one of the Top 3 in this competition right now but the judges won't give her praise (see Kris above). Simon said she's not likable? Really? That's not going to help keep her out of the Bottom 3 this week. COULD HAVE DONE: En Vogue's "My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It) or Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Under The Bridge"

Matt Giraud - "Part Time Lover" - In my wife's mind, Nikko Smith made this song untouchable. I actually thought Matt did a good job with it. They put the hat on him to cover the forehead mole. He got to move around and show his rhythm. It was no Nikko but it was still good. Not standing o good, Kara, but regular good. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Wham!'s "Careless Whisper" or Prince's "Raspberry Beret"

Adam Lambert - "Mad World" - Simon gave him a standing ovation. Simon. It was good. He didn't do the screaming thing. Adam is funny to me. I understand his talent. I find him tremendously likable when they interview him. He's just hit or miss for me when he sings in terms of my own personal taste. Regardless, tonight was very good. The last note was a little tough but he did nail it in the practice performance that they use for the night's recap so the lasting memory is of him hitting it. COULD HAVE DONE: Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" or "Open Arms" or Tommy Tutone's "867-5309"

Bottom Three: I'm looking at Scott, Allison, and Lil. It kills me to put Allison here but I have to be realistic. America is not voting for her like they should and the judges aren't helping. She should be safe for another week, though. For me, it was a toss up between Lil and Anoop for the third spot. I went with Lil because Anoop was better and gave a genuine apology for the Kara thing which makes two great performances this week to Lil's one.

Going Home: Scott MacIntyre

American Idol - Top 10 (Part 1)

This week is Motown week and that means Lil Rounds should be the best because she's black or at least that's what the judges implied but I'll get to that later.  Smokey Robinson was the celebrity Motown rep for the week. Interestingly, he was dressed like a skater during the mentoring sessions. Was he performing at the Spring X Games later in the day? Nothing gets Ryan Sheckler tearing up the half pipe like some Miracles. Anyway, on to the performances.

Matt Giraud - "Let's Get It On" - It started off really good and really cool. Even original. Then he left the piano and it went back to how it always sounds. Still good but I thought it was going to be awesome when it started. Does anyone else get stuck staring at that flesh mole in the middle of his forehead? It works for Russell Crowe but I think that's because Russell's is about an inch and a half south of Matt's. Maybe the Idol stylists can move it down.

CKrissss Allen - "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)" - It was very good. He sounds so much like Jason Mraz and I love Jason Mraz. He moves up on my favorites list each week. Don't you just want to squeeze him until he gets one of those blood vessel pops in his eye? Then you'd look at him and think, "Man, he'd be perfect if he didn't have that red thing in his eye. I still like him, though." I'm just saying, you need a flaw, Qwrisse.

Scott MacIntyre - "You Can't Hurry Love" - Or this song for that matter. Wait, did that make sense? I tried to do what Simon does where he takes the lyric and uses it against the singer. Anyway, it was boring and the judges finally threw away the "we can't say he was bad because he's blind" attitude. In fact, Simon was extra cruel and at one point, it looked like Scott might tear up a bit. Fortunately, those parts of his eyes don't work either and he should find himself in the Bottom 3.

Megan Joy - "For Once In My Life" - Spiggles did not bring it this week. I don't know if there were any notes that she hit. She's officially occupied the "The camera loves you" distinction for Season 8. I love her but I think it's time for her to go.

Anoop Desai - "Ooo Baby Baby" - I like that they raided Kevin Arnold's closet for Anoop. That brings it to retro real easy. He just needed to ride out on the stage with Paul Pfeiffer on matching Schwinns. The performance was pretty good. At least good enough to move on.

Michael Sarver - "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" - He had some fun out there. He's like an offensive lineman who had a great game protecting the quarterback and then jumped up on the bench in the locker room and starting belting out a tune in his towel. Was that Varsity Blues? Necessary Roughness? It was something. Anyway, he needs to go. Can we send off 3 this week? I don't even need to see the rest of the show to pick my Bottom 3.

Lil Rounds - "Heat Wave" - It seemed like Motown week was made for her. They showed her genuinely breaking down upon seeing Motown Records. They dressed her up like a Dreamgirls extra. It was all for Lil Rounds and then the song started. Not good. Good thing three other people already sucked. Apparently, this is the same song that landed Kimberley Locke and Jennifer Hudson in the Bottom 3 during their time on Idol. "Heat Wave" is Idol poison. Anyway, Simon saved her by saying she's one of the best singers in the competition so she should be fine as long as people stop pitying Scott.

Adam Lambert - "Tracks Of Our Tears" - The Elvis look for this week is a little gross but I guess he's rolling with his lip curl. It was really good. Even I am pro-Adam tonight. At some points, I wished it wasn't sung as high but he still nailed it. I'm giving him a pass this week from excessive ridicule. Well done, Adam.

Danny Gokey - "Get Ready" - Danny needs to stop having fun and get back into the competition. He should skate to the Top 5 but there are two guys (Kkckristte and Adam) that have moved ahead of him in my opinion. Time to step it up, Gokes.

Allison Iraheta - "Papa Was A Rollin' Stone" - This may not have been the best performance but it was my favorite. She's so good. She better not be in the Bottom 3 again. That was a travesty. Also, shame on Simon for taking attention away from Allison with the juvenile Paula mustache. He couldn't do that during Scott or Michael's? Poor. Simon's getting me more agitated this year than usual.

Bottom 3 - Scott, Michael, and Megan. I have a bad feeling that Lil might be in it but I'm going to stay strong and hope that America does not vote for Scott. The criticism from the judges is just going to get worse for him if he stays. If you care about him, you'll let him go, America.

Going Home - Michael Sarver

American Idol - Top 11 (Part 1)

It's country music week on American Idol. Yee to the haw! Randy Travis helped out the Idols by smiling, looking around awkwardly, and drawling.

Michael Sarver - "Ain't Goin Down Til The Sun Comes Up" - It was fun. There were a lot of words. He's a nice guy.

Allison Iraheta - "Blame It On Your Heart" - I didn't care for it. The judges liked it and she'll be fine. Randy thought it was dope. I don't think 16 year olds should be associated with drugs.

CQriss Allen - "To Make You Feel My Love" - First off, that video image of him on the floor as they panned up to him on the stool was fun house weird. I thought it started off real strong but got a little boring. The judges loved it and I assume he'll be safe.

Lil Rounds - "Independence Day" - She can sing but why did the stylist make her look like a WNBA player showing up at the red carpet? Sittmone didn't like it and embarrassed himself by mispronouncing Lil's name repeatedly. Being British doesn't require you to add letters to a name, Simon. Sound it out. Now, take a lift to the booth and put on a jumper, ya wanker.

Adam Lambert - "Ring Of Fire" - Randy Travis was speechless and I can see why. That was creepy. I thought it was awful. I just want to punch him in the face but I don't think my wife has enough makeup remover for my fist when I get home. Randy Jackson thought it was current and fresh. He said it was like Nine Inch Nails doing country. That's current? Why not Devo?

Scott MacIntyre - "Wild Angels" - Boring. Boring. Boring. I'm tired of the judges not treating him like the other contestants and it's not fair that I rip him apart because of it. I'm actually sure he wants to be treated like anyone else. That got real.

Alexis Grace - "Jolene" - This seems like a stumble. There was a falsetto that made me cringe. Regardless, she's too good to get voted off yet. Maybe the judge save?

Danny Gokey - "Jesus Take The Wheel" - This was awesome. I don't know why Entertainment Weekly hates Danny Gokey. Put the go in Gokey? How can you be so mean? He killed this song and he has gone two weeks without mentioning his wife.

Anoop Desai - "You Were Always On My Mind" - I like that Anoop likes to have fun and did Bobby Brown and Beat It but he can sing. It's about time he sang in this competition. I think this will get him out of the Anoop Dawghouse(?). Does that exist? Am I using that right?

Megan Joy - "I Go Walking After Midnight" - Spiggles dropped her last name. I'll allow it because she's awesome. I think the coolest thing about this is that she had the flu and I didn't know. She sounded great.

Matt Giraud - "So Small" - He did a fine job. There was a piano.

I don't know if they are doing a bottom three but, if so, I think it will be Michael, Scott, and a surprise Alexis. I think Michael will go home. He's the weakest one. This really is the best year of Idol. I have people I want to go home (Adam, Scott) but none that outright stink.

American Idol - Top 13 (Part 1)

Oh man. We've made it to the competition! I don't know why everyone hates Randy. Who else is going to reach that elusive demographic of people who only understand 2 words and 4 random noises/grunts? 

It's Michael Jackson night and that could mean only one thing: I predict over 50 percent suckage. (Actual suckage percentage after the performances)

Lil Rounds - "The Way You Make Me Feel" - Lil Rounds likes to change the words of songs to sound adorable. So does Weird Al. Her pants are making her rounds the opposite of lil, though. I thought it was good overall. She's more than safe.

Scott MacIntyre - "Keep The Faith" - I fell asleep before the first note was over. He's not a pop star. He's got a future on Lite FM. His voice is fine and he tickles ivories like a polite elephant poacher. (That was a bigger reach than Manute Bol going for a rebound. [That was also a stretch in the vain of Mr. Armstrong.] ) Is it me or does he look like a Mike Myers character that's constantly mugging for the camera? He'll be fine because he's blind and he wasn't terrible. There will be terrible.

Danny Gokey - "P.Y.T." - He is going for it. This is awesome. He enjoys the moment and will be safe. Also, his wife is not living anymore.

Michael Sarver - "You Are Not Alone" - I have a feeling this is the first bad across-the-board judgment. Lots of "You're a nice guy" coming. I was wrong. What did the judges see? It was boring. He's safe and this will postpone his History Channel reality show, Warbling Roughnecks. (Followed by the Season Premiere of Ax Men)

Jasmine Murray - "I'll Be There" - Skinny Mo'Nique has won the high school talent show for the second week in a row. I don't think it was that great. She might be in trouble.

Qrisse Allen - "Remember The Time" - He has the same leg movements as Dave Matthews. That's the second time I've mentioned Dave Matthews' legs in these Idol blogs. I thought he was good and sounded a little Jason Mraz-like at times. Damn it! Randy said the same thing as I typed that. I have to get a CAT scan to make sure my frontal lobe is missing. That would be the only way to justify this accord.

Allison Iraheta - "Give In To Me" - She's so good. It's scary. They really gave her a Kelly Clarkson makeover. Really ramming that comparison home, eh stylists? Eh? Plus I thought her line about not being too dark and cutting herself was hilarious. She does have a personality. She's coasting.

Anoop Desai - "Beat It" - They made Anoop look so tough. I don't know who would win in a fight, Michael Jackson in his red studded jacket or Anoop with his turned up collar. Either way, he had fun and that's code for should be going home.

Jorge Nunez - "Never Can Say Goodbye" - Oh, Jorge. Your last name is so exciting with the tilde AND the accent mark (Who has that?) but this was so boring. I, with Simon, could not wait for it to end. He went from one of the most likable to the worst. Might be going home.

Megan Corkrey - "Rockin' Robin" - Spiggles' mom is hot like her. Holy crap. I think I have beer hearing aids because she can do no wrong with this blogger. She deserves to be around for awhile. And she cawed. She cawed at the end. The judges were not pleased but she's safe. Look at her.

Adam Lambert - "Black and White" - Crikey. I can't figure him out. He's good at Adam Lambert but I don't know if I like Adam Lambert. The judges thought he was the best of the week. I'm still not on his bandwagon but he's more than safe. As an aside, can you hit notes that don't exist? My one dog does bark when Adam sings so maybe he can.

Matt Giraud - "Human Nature" - I thought it was a little boring. He sang it well but the arrangement was rough. The judges liked it and thought it was good enough to move on.

Alexis Grace - "Dirty Diana" - She sang strong and tried a little too hard but she's so good and she belongs on the show. My fear for her is the strange phone number they had to give her because they couldn't get "IDOLS 13." She might be in trouble because of that.

Since 2 are going home, I think it will be Jorge and Jasmine with a spoiler of Alexis because of the phone number thing.

Suckage Percentage: 5/13 (Way to prove me wrong, Idols)

American Idol Top 36 (Week 1)

I'm a huge American Idol fan. I don't know why people feel the need to be embarrassed by watching it. It's awesome. Embrace it. So, here are my thoughts:

Jackie Tohn - "A Little Less Conversation" - I want to say this was good because she seems quite likable but it wasn't. She brought back spandex, however. (We all know how i feel about spandex. The answer's good if you didn't know.) Flailing around the stage like she was on fire, she "entertained" but not in the way I think she was going for. But she had fun which is all that matters when she looks back on this as she heads home.

Ricky Braddy - "A Song For You" - There's always one person that gets no screen time during the audition period and Hollywood Week. That's Ricky Braddy. He really rocked this song. Not Elliot Yamin rocked but still, rocked. He doesn't make the top 3 for the week but there is no way he's not in the talks for a wild card.

Alexis Grace - "I Never Loved A Man The Way I Loved You" - She apparently got dirty by dying her hair pink. She's Kelly Clarkson dirty at best but she has a long way to go to the Christina Aguilera or Nicole Scherzinger level of dirty, also known as the Pig-Pen Class of female pop stardom. Still, she's really good and deserved the first spot in the Top 12.

Casey Carlson - "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" - She is really pretty and now she can go be pretty with common folk.

Anoop Desai - "Angel of Mine" - How is Anoop going home? I know he wasn't great like he has been but he should be in the Top 12. Sadly, we now have two wild cards given out in the first week leaving one for the next two weeks. Doesn't look good for both Anoop and Ricky.

Brent Keith - "Hick Town" - He seems like a good guy but if he couldn't win Nashville Star, a show totally in his element, how could he win a contest that really doesn't care for country stars. (Yes, I know Carrie Underwood won but she was an awesome singer and won singing pop songs.)

Michael Sarver - "I Don't Wanna Be" - This was not very good. When Ryan asked him what his roughneck coworkers would think, I fast forwarded because my wife gets very angry when we watch any more Idol content than necessary. Still, I like to think his roughneck friends would be saying, "Where the hell is he? He's been out of work for months! No good bum! These giant wrenches don't turn themselves!" Welcome to the Top 12, second-best feel-good story.

Ann Marie Boskovich - "Natural Woman" - She got the words right. That's something.

Stevie Wright - "You Belong With Me" - She younged herself up by singing Taylor Swift. I don't know a lot about Taylor Swift but she apparently can't sing her own songs very well. Maybe that's why Stevie tried it. This is one of those song choices where you might be able to be better than the original. Nice thought. Regardless, she failed miserably but she's young and she'll be back in Season 9 (unless you aren't allowed to come back if you make the Top 36).

Stephen Fowler - "Rock With You" - Seriously, he deserved to go home just for picking this song. This is what he does with his second chance? Really? REALLY? Why not sing a medley of Stevie Wonder, Queen, and Whitney Houston? That could work.

Tatiana Del Toro - "Saving All My Love For You" - I was just saying something about Whitney Houston, I think. Anyway, Tatiana is the scariest person to ever grace the stage of American Idol. More like Tatiana Del Loco. Am I Right? High five. She had the last few weeks to see that she was depicted as a psychopath but here's the thing: the camera never lies. She's guano crazy. I loved her controlled, "I'm not really like that" attitude this week. She held it in just enough to snap. I wouldn't be surprised if she is eventually charged with the murders of all four judges. Police will find her in her basement singing to the decapitated heads of Simon, Paula, Randy, and Kara that she will have impaled on sticks so they seem like they are paying attention. Beware all involved in American idol especially that crew member she thanked during Hollywood week. You're on her radar. Yikes and good riddance.

Danny Gokey - "Hero" - He's not going home, probably ever. His singing was good but he's sounded better. He's still my favorite and I like that Simon tried to keep him grounded. Simon always says the right thing to each person. Sometimes he talks too long and gets excessively mean but what he says is always the thing that needs to be said to that contestant at that moment. It's amazing. Simon likes Danny and wants him to stay around and I do too.

Bonus thought:

Michael Johns and Carly Smithson - "The Letter" - Can we vote them off again? This was rough.