American Idol - Top 5 (Part 2)

The results came in and WOW. Talk about being wrong. I wasn't even close tonight and I'm glad about it but we'll get to that in a second. First, I'm glad to see the Idols singing the medley instead of lip synching. When they all have careers on Broadway, they are going to have to sing and move around as a group. It's just good practice. 

Natalie Cole looks more and more like her father every day. Not the way he used to look. The way he looks now. (EDIT: I'm leaving this in to show what a jerk I am but Natalie Cole is in need of a kidney transplant and is on dialysis 3 times a week. I'm awful.) Taylor Hicks played something really quickly and muted based on how I watched it. And Jamie Foxx auto-tuned away his genuinely good singing voice. It was a poor night for superstar guests. 

One more thing: Did Simon make me like him again with his praise for Danny and Allison and his other comments at the end? I think he did. I can never stay mad at you, Cowell.

BOTTOM 3:

Kris Allen - Kris does not belong here. I was definitely surprised but he was the first one sent back to the safety couch. Guess that iTunes leak wasn't a good gauge for the public's voting. If you can't trust that, what can you trust? Now, I know how Jack Bauer feels. I'm still going to download Kris' performance off Tony Almeida - I mean, iTunes.

Adam Lambert - This was the biggest shock since the flash forward episode of "Lost." My jaw dropped as much as Kara's. Should I wait for Randy and Simon's immature gigglefest or continue with my blog? I'll continue. I cannot believe he was in the Bottom 2. This brought me joy. I know there are huge Adam Lambert fans and he can truly sing but I'm so glad. An American Idol should be a genuine performer not an actor that can sing. Good job, America. This is pure payback for picking sides in the "Which group do you think you belong in?" crap they do every season.

Matt Giraud - He was the one that should have gone home this week. He was so elusive though. He was turning American Idol in "Final Destination 5." (I can't believe there are four of them, either.) He made it really far and he gave a great performance but the other Idols were simply better than him.

Final Thought: Danny and Allison? I'm so happy for Allison but I am definitely confused by what happened. In all fairness, when my mom asked me who the best ones were this week, I said Danny and Allison. It's just surprising that this happened. Does this mean that supposed frontrunner Adam will be making a Chris Daughtry-like fourth place exit? Can Kris overcome Danny for the Finals? Did I just put Allison in the driver's seat? Well she is 17 now. See you next week.

American Idol - Top 5 (Part 1)

It's Rat Pack Week. The host for Rat Pack Week...Jamie Foxx. I was confused by this but I will never doubt Jamie Foxx again. How can you? Look at all he's accomplished. After watching him with the Idols, I felt like I could do anything with Jamie Foxx at my side. Is he rentable?

Kris Allen - "The Way You Look Tonight" - It was so beautiful. Like him. I said it. He's a beautiful person. You wanna fight? A recent leak on iTunes showed he's the second-most downloaded Idol (after Adam). How can he not be in the finals? Except Simon, the judges loved him tonight. Why does Simon hate him so much? He doesn't think he can win the competition? He's the only guy who's album I would buy. Jamie Foxx agrees.

Allison Iraheta - "Someone To Watch Over Me" - Ever since I read that she adds an 'H' in front of some words in her phrasing, it's glaring. "Someone to hwatch over meeeee." It's like when Stewie does the Kool HWhip thing on Family Guy. 

But she still sings amazingly. I just wish I had never had that pointed out. The judges liked it but that doesn't seem to matter. While Paula has been tremendously better this year, she is still awkward. I figured out what it was. Paula has an multi-syllable-adjective-a-day calendar. Alluring? Stellar? I'm on to you, Abdul.

Matt Giraud - "My Funny Valentine" - Jaime Foxx fixed him! Wow. He snuck in a falsetto at the end but it was fine. This was probably my favorite Matt performance since "Georgia." I didn't know he could sing that well. It makes me question what else I don't know about the world. Should I be eating beets? Is it time to start reading the Twilight books? Do my dogs need more attention? Jamie Foxx, thank you. Because of this, I will see "The Soloist"...on DVD.

Danny Gokey - "Come Rain Or Come Shine" - This week is ridiculously good. I said that Danny needed a magical performance in last week's blog and he went for it. The end was arranged differently and I really liked it. Though Danny usually tends to leave you thinking a performance was better than it was by blowing out the ending with huge singing. However, this time I believe it was a good performance. Also, I think that hand gesture during the phone numbers was supposed to be a heart but it looked like a bean. Do a better heart, Danny.

Adam Lambert - "Feelin' Good" - Hair down. Didn't like it. The trend continues. It was over the top. The arrangement was rough. It was so theatrical like always. And then for Simon to say that theatrical is fine because that's who he is. How do all the awesome theatrical singers of Idol past feel about that statement? I'm done with Simon. He's wet. He's indulgent. He needs to leave the show or start critiquing the actual performance on stage and not giving a prepared response leading to a predetermined Finals of Adam and Danny! Where am I? 

Bottom Three: This is tough because you have to put people that you like in the Bottom 3. I predict Allison, Matt, and Danny. I really think Kris is more popular than Danny even though he has one of those living wives. Matt isn't one of the top two popular people and neither is Allison (she wasn't even top four last week). As much as I hate to do it, I think it is time for Allison to take her red hair and go. We get one more week of the Mole Man. I hope I'm wrong. I hope I'm so wrong.

Going Home: Allison Iraheta 

American Idol - Top 7 (Part 2)

I feel empty after last night's results show. On the one hand, I got the Bottom 3 correct (though it was easy). On the other hand, we still have seven contestants. The show started off with the Idol medley of "Maniac" from "Flashdance." I did not enjoy it at all. For me, "Maniac" is one of those untouchable songs because no one will ever do it as well as Chris Farley. Anyway, on to the results:

BOTTOM 3: 

Anoop Desai - Like he said on the show, it's not up to the judges or him to say whether his performance was good enough to be safe. America is not a big fan of Anoop. He has put in two great performances in a row and gotten Bottom 3 status each time. He will be lucky to crack the Top 5. Still nothing to sneeze at. I mean, I'd sneeze at it but I hold myself to higher standards. 

Lil Rounds - I thought she was going home but she was not the lowest vote getter. This means Simon will actually set her on fire next week after she's done singing. Part of me thinks she's ready for it though. She seems to be carrying a lot of supplies in the back of her pants. Hopefully amidst all of that junk, there's a fire extinguisher.

Matt Giraud - He was the lowest vote getter and sang worse than the previous night. How could he not? He was away from his comfort instrument and had his Idol fate on the line. Simon said to him that he doesn't think he can win the competition and then proceeded to use the Judges' Save on him. What? You don't have to use it, judges. Do they know that? Why would you waste it on someone that you don't think can win it all? That's like landing on $5000 and giving Pat Sajak your Free Spin. It doesn't make any sense. Sure Matt was happy and crying. He should be. Now he has to go through the process of getting voted off again next week.

Final Thought: So there will be two contestants voted off next week. I predict Lil and Matt will be those two. I don't see how another week saves them. Truthfully, that would leave the best five. Disco week should be fun. I can't wait to hear Adam do "Don't Leave Me This Way" or even better, "Disco Duck."

American Idol - Top 10 (Part 2)

Someone got voted off American Idol last night in addition to the sweatiness, creepiness, and awesomeness but let's start with those: 

Sweatiness: Ruben Studdard always looks like the guy who is having a heart attack but is going to smile and play it off like nothing is wrong. I fast forwarded but the parts I stopped on sounded nice.

Creepiness: Smokey Robinson looked like a real old man in hot pursuit of Joss Stone. He just needed to wheeze, "I'm comin' to getcha" as he waddled towards her and security would have been necessary. And his dreamy eyes were reminiscent of Michael Jackson before he changed (in the Thriller video not in real life).

Awesomeness: Stevie Wonder can still rock at whatever age he's at. The older he gets, the more he looks like the Super Orc from Lord of The Rings but that doesn't mean that Orc can't party. He is one of the greats and it was really cool to see the Idol contestants make fools of themselves fawning over him on stage. I would have. Did I see repeated Wayne's World "We're not worthy" gestures from Anoop, Lil, and Kqwriss? I think I did.

BOTTOM THREE:

Matt Giraud - He should not be in the Bottom 3. He was one of the tops of the night and gave his best performance since "Georgia" in Hollywood Week. Fortunately, he did not go home. I'm not sure if I like him yet but he's too good to find himself in this position.

Scott MacIntyre - I didn't think he was going home but at least America is starting to send him there. This was an important first step in his eventual booting (Next week? Hmm?). It's not fair to him to be ripped apart by the judges. Have mercy on him. He's on the tour. That should be enough.

Michael Sarver - I feel like he's a better singer than Scott but he is not going to win like Simon said. This was the end for Michael and he left with the dignity and humor that got him this far. In fact, I thought his farewell performance of "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" was the best he's been in a while. I also liked how he told Lil she was fine before Ryan did and how he pointed at Matt for the guy who shouldn't be in the Bottom 3. The best part is that you could tell he meant it.  Part of me wishes he could hang out every week and just not sing.

Final Thought: I was partially hoping Lil would get in the Bottom 3 to scare her into upping her game but when it was between her and Michael, I stopped rooting for that. It was good to see Allison get the broken Windows treatment. (She got rebooted in Safe Mode? Yeah, that wasn't that good.) Spiggles is around for another week so hopefully she'll pick a good song and not go down in flames. See you next week.

American Idol - Top 10 (Part 1)

This week is Motown week and that means Lil Rounds should be the best because she's black or at least that's what the judges implied but I'll get to that later.  Smokey Robinson was the celebrity Motown rep for the week. Interestingly, he was dressed like a skater during the mentoring sessions. Was he performing at the Spring X Games later in the day? Nothing gets Ryan Sheckler tearing up the half pipe like some Miracles. Anyway, on to the performances.

Matt Giraud - "Let's Get It On" - It started off really good and really cool. Even original. Then he left the piano and it went back to how it always sounds. Still good but I thought it was going to be awesome when it started. Does anyone else get stuck staring at that flesh mole in the middle of his forehead? It works for Russell Crowe but I think that's because Russell's is about an inch and a half south of Matt's. Maybe the Idol stylists can move it down.

CKrissss Allen - "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)" - It was very good. He sounds so much like Jason Mraz and I love Jason Mraz. He moves up on my favorites list each week. Don't you just want to squeeze him until he gets one of those blood vessel pops in his eye? Then you'd look at him and think, "Man, he'd be perfect if he didn't have that red thing in his eye. I still like him, though." I'm just saying, you need a flaw, Qwrisse.

Scott MacIntyre - "You Can't Hurry Love" - Or this song for that matter. Wait, did that make sense? I tried to do what Simon does where he takes the lyric and uses it against the singer. Anyway, it was boring and the judges finally threw away the "we can't say he was bad because he's blind" attitude. In fact, Simon was extra cruel and at one point, it looked like Scott might tear up a bit. Fortunately, those parts of his eyes don't work either and he should find himself in the Bottom 3.

Megan Joy - "For Once In My Life" - Spiggles did not bring it this week. I don't know if there were any notes that she hit. She's officially occupied the "The camera loves you" distinction for Season 8. I love her but I think it's time for her to go.

Anoop Desai - "Ooo Baby Baby" - I like that they raided Kevin Arnold's closet for Anoop. That brings it to retro real easy. He just needed to ride out on the stage with Paul Pfeiffer on matching Schwinns. The performance was pretty good. At least good enough to move on.

Michael Sarver - "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" - He had some fun out there. He's like an offensive lineman who had a great game protecting the quarterback and then jumped up on the bench in the locker room and starting belting out a tune in his towel. Was that Varsity Blues? Necessary Roughness? It was something. Anyway, he needs to go. Can we send off 3 this week? I don't even need to see the rest of the show to pick my Bottom 3.

Lil Rounds - "Heat Wave" - It seemed like Motown week was made for her. They showed her genuinely breaking down upon seeing Motown Records. They dressed her up like a Dreamgirls extra. It was all for Lil Rounds and then the song started. Not good. Good thing three other people already sucked. Apparently, this is the same song that landed Kimberley Locke and Jennifer Hudson in the Bottom 3 during their time on Idol. "Heat Wave" is Idol poison. Anyway, Simon saved her by saying she's one of the best singers in the competition so she should be fine as long as people stop pitying Scott.

Adam Lambert - "Tracks Of Our Tears" - The Elvis look for this week is a little gross but I guess he's rolling with his lip curl. It was really good. Even I am pro-Adam tonight. At some points, I wished it wasn't sung as high but he still nailed it. I'm giving him a pass this week from excessive ridicule. Well done, Adam.

Danny Gokey - "Get Ready" - Danny needs to stop having fun and get back into the competition. He should skate to the Top 5 but there are two guys (Kkckristte and Adam) that have moved ahead of him in my opinion. Time to step it up, Gokes.

Allison Iraheta - "Papa Was A Rollin' Stone" - This may not have been the best performance but it was my favorite. She's so good. She better not be in the Bottom 3 again. That was a travesty. Also, shame on Simon for taking attention away from Allison with the juvenile Paula mustache. He couldn't do that during Scott or Michael's? Poor. Simon's getting me more agitated this year than usual.

Bottom 3 - Scott, Michael, and Megan. I have a bad feeling that Lil might be in it but I'm going to stay strong and hope that America does not vote for Scott. The criticism from the judges is just going to get worse for him if he stays. If you care about him, you'll let him go, America.

Going Home - Michael Sarver

American Idol - Top 36 (Wild Card)

We will get our final 3. My money's on Anoop, Megan, and Matt. There are rumors of a Top 13 but I'll stick to picking 3.

Jesse Langseth - "Tell Me Something Good" - I don't think the judges will be telling her...something...uh...you know the rest. Kara and Paula said that it was sexy but I think it looked more like she was having sex than being sexy. I kinda wanted them to pixelate her at points. A little skeevy. Probably not a Wild Card choice.

Matt Giraud - "Who's Lovin' You" - It started off really good and then he "riffed" way too much. At times it was amazing and other times it was overkill. He really wanted it and he sang his butt off. He showed every note he can hit (or almost hit). That's all you can ask after the Coldplay debacle. Simon said he reminded him of Taylor Hicks. I saw a little Ray Charles myself. He should got one of the spots.

Megan Corkrey - "Black Horse And a Cherry Tree" - I dropped the joy from her name because she dropped the joy tonight. It was not good but I just like her so much! I want to squeeze her until her tattoo comes off. The song choice was right but she is limited vocally. However, she got the Simon endorsement so she might be back. In fact, I'm going to be positive. Spiggles will be back! Who doesn't want to see that dance again? Girl's got guilty feet (comment if you get the reference).

Von Smith - "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word" - The beginning is rough but he'll belt it out to make it better. He's like Anwar from Season 4. Rough until the big notes. The judges thought it was too serious, even dark. His face during the judgment showed that he knew he blew it. Maybe he's better off shouting. He could make tons on a subway platform. Those trains are loud.

Jasmine Murray - "Reflection" - She didn't go with Rihanna. I would have put money on that. She was really good and controlled. I liked it a lot and I'm now worried about my 3 prelim picks. Simon thinks she could be in. I have to agree. Side note: If she doesn't make the Top 12, she can always be the "After" photo if Mo'Nique gets an endorsement from Jenny Craig and she doesn't feel like putting in the effort.

Thanks, Jenny Craig!

Ricky Braddy - "Superstition" - Bring it, tight pants! Skinny Jeans never stood a chance tonight. I actually thought he was good but you could tell the judges wanted nothing to do with him. I guess I'll skip to the next singer just like the judges did.

Tatiana Del Toro - "Saving All My Love For You" - Didn't she sing this last time? I love that it's awful. I love it. I love love love it. I love that I love that I love it. Kiss me, awful singing. Kiss me. When she reached towards the screen on the last note, I thought she was going to come through the screen and kill me a la The Ring. Also, she picked up an accent because she noticed it worked for Jorge Nunez. Psycho. She's crazy crazy. Like carve "American Idol 4 Eva" into her chest and then use the ink from a Bic pen to fill it in crazy. The farce needs to end now.

Anoop Desai - "My Prerogative" - Oh, Anoop. I actually did not like this at all but the judges did which I think is awesome. I like Anoop and feel he can come into his own as the contest continues. I really hope this doesn't come off as racist but he seems like a combination of every character Kal Penn has ever played. He's got the suaveness of Kumar. He's got the heart of Kutner. He's got the he-could-go-into-a-crazy-rant-at-any-time twinkle in his eye of Taj. Plus, I loved when he wasn't sure what Randy meant by Anoop Brown Dawg. He'll get a spot.

And the Wild Cards go to...

Jasmine Murray (Gastric Bypass Mo'Nique deserved it)

Megan Corkrey (Spiggles!)

Matt Giraud (Now that he's in and can use half of his dueling pianos, he can be a force)

Anoop Desai (Lucky 13)

That's it for me this week. I can't wait for this competition to really start so we can think things like "How did we let that person in?" or "I remember her singing a lot better" or "Why did they do 13? There's barely 5 good ones" and the like.