American Idol - Top 36 (Week 2) Part 1

My title needs more numbers, I think. Anyway. I am going to blog this while I watch the show on my DVR. It makes it easier to remember everything I want to say about each person and avoids me forgetting all that comedy gold I come up with during playback.

Jasmine Murray - "Love Song" - She picked a cool song. I'm a huge Sara Bareilles fan. Her problem is she didn't sing the song fast enough. The thing with uptempo songs is that there is really no room for interpretation unless you change the arrangement. She tried for interpretation without rearrangement and that's why she failed.

Matt Giraud - "Viva La Vida" - He sang an awesome "Georgia On My Mind" during Hollywood Week. He made a large mistake trying to bring a soulful feel to a Coldplay song. The problem is that Chris Martin has no soul so it can't be done. If he would have succeeded, it would have been like Cindy Loo Who getting the Grinch's heart the grow three sizes. Sorry, Matt. Maybe you'll get one of the wild cards.

Jeanine Vailes - "This Love" - I was distracted by her changing all the female pronouns to male pronouns. Just lesbian it up for normalcy. Unfortunately, she made Adam Levine seem like he should be in the pantheon with Mariah and Whitney. So that's good for Adam Levine.

Nick Mitchell - "And I'm Telling I'm You" - Something might be wrong with me because I enjoyed this. Since he will be singing this every week (he sang it at Hollywood Week), I'm sure it will bother me by Week Six but tonight, it was fun. Please don't vote for him.

Allison Iraheta - "Alone" - Heart is usually a terrible pick. Not this time. She was awesome. Finally! Because this show was awful until now. However, I agree with Simon that she has a rough personality. She put off a Joaquin-Phoenix-on-Letterman vibe with Ryan before singing.

Kris Allen - "Man In The Mirror" - It started out not so great but it ended really strong. I was sitting here when he started singing thinking ugh but then he hit a note and it made me look up from my laptop. I even deleted the first sentence I wrote. Not bad. Will it get a spot? I don't think so.

Megan Corkrey - "Put Your Records On" - This girl knows how to enunciate. Wow. She must have gone to a Catholic school and gotten smacked if she ignored one letter in any word. She also wiggles nicely.

Matt Breitzke - "If You Could Only See" - This was boring. He seems like a nice guy but there are better guys than him, singing-wise. At least when this is over, he can remove one of his eyes and have a life feasting on Odysseus' crew.

Jesse Langseth - "Bette Davis Eyes" - It's pretty good. It was safe but what do you expect? She just died in Daniel Faraday's arms from temporal displacement a couple of weeks ago. It's good to have her back.

Kai Kalama - "What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted" - It was nice to listen to. He's got the hair of Sideshow Bob's brother, Cecil, so that's cool. He won't be back.

Mishavonna Henson - "Drops of Jupiter" - It sounded really good but the judges thought she looked too serious. I went back to watch it because I was too busy searching for the spelling of Cecil to look up the first time. She did look serious. Like angry that no one was answering her questions. Yes, Mishavonna, the wind swept me off my feet. Oh God, just don't hurt me.

Adam Lambert - "Satisfaction" - The dude can sing, in most cases not like a dude but he can sing. I think he overdid it but he's working the theater out of himself so that he can then put the theater back in himself after the competition. (Cause he'll be on Broadway with most of the other American Idol finalists from times past.) He'll be fine.

I think the Top 3 will be Adam Lambert, Allison Iraheta, and Megan Corkrey. Matt Giraud will hopefully get a Wild Card.

American Idol Top 36 (Week 1)

I'm a huge American Idol fan. I don't know why people feel the need to be embarrassed by watching it. It's awesome. Embrace it. So, here are my thoughts:

Jackie Tohn - "A Little Less Conversation" - I want to say this was good because she seems quite likable but it wasn't. She brought back spandex, however. (We all know how i feel about spandex. The answer's good if you didn't know.) Flailing around the stage like she was on fire, she "entertained" but not in the way I think she was going for. But she had fun which is all that matters when she looks back on this as she heads home.

Ricky Braddy - "A Song For You" - There's always one person that gets no screen time during the audition period and Hollywood Week. That's Ricky Braddy. He really rocked this song. Not Elliot Yamin rocked but still, rocked. He doesn't make the top 3 for the week but there is no way he's not in the talks for a wild card.

Alexis Grace - "I Never Loved A Man The Way I Loved You" - She apparently got dirty by dying her hair pink. She's Kelly Clarkson dirty at best but she has a long way to go to the Christina Aguilera or Nicole Scherzinger level of dirty, also known as the Pig-Pen Class of female pop stardom. Still, she's really good and deserved the first spot in the Top 12.

Casey Carlson - "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" - She is really pretty and now she can go be pretty with common folk.

Anoop Desai - "Angel of Mine" - How is Anoop going home? I know he wasn't great like he has been but he should be in the Top 12. Sadly, we now have two wild cards given out in the first week leaving one for the next two weeks. Doesn't look good for both Anoop and Ricky.

Brent Keith - "Hick Town" - He seems like a good guy but if he couldn't win Nashville Star, a show totally in his element, how could he win a contest that really doesn't care for country stars. (Yes, I know Carrie Underwood won but she was an awesome singer and won singing pop songs.)

Michael Sarver - "I Don't Wanna Be" - This was not very good. When Ryan asked him what his roughneck coworkers would think, I fast forwarded because my wife gets very angry when we watch any more Idol content than necessary. Still, I like to think his roughneck friends would be saying, "Where the hell is he? He's been out of work for months! No good bum! These giant wrenches don't turn themselves!" Welcome to the Top 12, second-best feel-good story.

Ann Marie Boskovich - "Natural Woman" - She got the words right. That's something.

Stevie Wright - "You Belong With Me" - She younged herself up by singing Taylor Swift. I don't know a lot about Taylor Swift but she apparently can't sing her own songs very well. Maybe that's why Stevie tried it. This is one of those song choices where you might be able to be better than the original. Nice thought. Regardless, she failed miserably but she's young and she'll be back in Season 9 (unless you aren't allowed to come back if you make the Top 36).

Stephen Fowler - "Rock With You" - Seriously, he deserved to go home just for picking this song. This is what he does with his second chance? Really? REALLY? Why not sing a medley of Stevie Wonder, Queen, and Whitney Houston? That could work.

Tatiana Del Toro - "Saving All My Love For You" - I was just saying something about Whitney Houston, I think. Anyway, Tatiana is the scariest person to ever grace the stage of American Idol. More like Tatiana Del Loco. Am I Right? High five. She had the last few weeks to see that she was depicted as a psychopath but here's the thing: the camera never lies. She's guano crazy. I loved her controlled, "I'm not really like that" attitude this week. She held it in just enough to snap. I wouldn't be surprised if she is eventually charged with the murders of all four judges. Police will find her in her basement singing to the decapitated heads of Simon, Paula, Randy, and Kara that she will have impaled on sticks so they seem like they are paying attention. Beware all involved in American idol especially that crew member she thanked during Hollywood week. You're on her radar. Yikes and good riddance.

Danny Gokey - "Hero" - He's not going home, probably ever. His singing was good but he's sounded better. He's still my favorite and I like that Simon tried to keep him grounded. Simon always says the right thing to each person. Sometimes he talks too long and gets excessively mean but what he says is always the thing that needs to be said to that contestant at that moment. It's amazing. Simon likes Danny and wants him to stay around and I do too.

Bonus thought:

Michael Johns and Carly Smithson - "The Letter" - Can we vote them off again? This was rough.