Thursday, December 31, 2009

Tor's New Year's Resolutions for 2KX

Happy New Year's from all of us at Tor's Take! It's time to make proclamations that none of us are going to keep, I mean, am I riiighhh(incoherent coughs and harrumphs)? Here they are, dammit.
  • Be more consistent with my 2010 letter shorthand.
  • Find a nice girl and settle down.
  • Guess correctly on a "How Many Jelly Beans Are In This Barrel?" contest.
  • Shoot a sheriff and admit to it melodically.
  • Get a parole officer to keep me focused.
  • Give back to the world with more popular YouTube videos.
  • Teach a homeless man how to recycle his home so that he will recycle forever.
  • Punch Jeff Daniels.
  • Break a mirror to get 7 years bad luck thus ensuring the world won't end in 2012. You're welcome, everyone!
  • Market my new video game, Stand-Up Hero, for XBox 360, Wii, and Playstation 3.
  • Stage an intervention for Krazy Glue.
  • Set up meeting with Coach and Louis Vuitton to create a stylish bindle as part of a Hobo Couture collection.
  • Take over at least 2 of Tiger Woods' lost endorsements.
  • Lead a New Jersey invasion hell-bent on overtaking and absorbing Pennsylvania.
  • Perform in a 16 city tour of a 2-person Vaudeville show with William Peterson entitled "Tor-Pete-o."
  • Make baked ziti.
  • Finally rid the world of stereotypes by replacing them with iPodtypes (for the kids!).
  • Make sure people never forget Michael Jackson.
  • Get a blank check from Miguel Ferrer and spend 90 minutes eluding him and Tone Loc.
  • Start campaign to make Alex Trebek a contestant on "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" to put him in his stupid place.
  • Learn a parlor trick.
  • Have tea with any available queen.
  • Free the puppets from the tyrannical rule of Metallica. 24 years is enough.
  • Open an East Coast location of the Peach Pit.
  • Keep blogging.
What are yours?


Anoush said...

Wait, wait why are we punching Jeff Daniels?

Anoush said...

I'm not horribly against it, it's just important that I know why.

Kevin Tor said...

He's so likable. I bet he goes around thinking no one wants to punch him. So, believing that, it's what I feel needs to be done.

Willy said...

My resolution is to not make a resolution this year.