1) I woke up to
a) my wife bringing me breakfast in bed.
b) my wife snoring loudly with her back turned.
Answer: b - But here's the whole story: Loly woke up early and made me pancakes, bacon, waffles, steak, ham, lasagna, and home fries just like I like every morning. However, when she went to get the orange juice, she found out we were out of it so she put everything down the garbage disposal and went back to bed. Understandable and the right move. A for Affort. God, she snores loudly.
2) True or False - Every year, my parents give me a different flavor of Baskin Robbins on my birthday not expecting me to live past this year.
Answer: False - I don't like ice cream.
3) What's the best birthday present I've ever gotten?
a) my wife's love
b) my Toyota Camry
c) original Nintendo
d) 3 way tie
Answer: No way it could be a 3-way tie. The answer is c) Original Nintendo - I can't begin to describe the joy I felt when I opened this present. I was probably the last of my friends to get it because my dad thought it would make me a shut-in but he caved. I played so much Mario and while I do love a practical car, it does not compare. Oh right, my wife told me she loved me on a day in February. Just a regular day. Totally wasted that one. She's not good at waiting.
4) Where am I going to lunch with my parents and grandpa?
b) Penthouse Strip Club
Answer: a) Though my wife tells me the steaks are great there, we will be passing on the Penthouse Strip Club because my grandpa doesn't like to go to the city. And Friendly's is just more ice cream. I was seeing if you were paying attention to the whole quiz. Anyway, I love me some Houlihan's chicken fingers! The best best best honey mustard sauce ever!! EVER!!
5) What is my biggest wish for 2010?
b) healthy baby
c) xbox 360
d) why can't I have them all?
Answer: b) What am I? A monster? Of course I want a healthy baby over an Xbox 360. That would be ridiculous. Now, as for Fame, I meant the DVD of the fantastic remake of the TV show so of course I want a healthy baby over that. I don't care how good Frasier was in in it.
6) Essay - What would be my perfect birthday?
Loly wakes up early and makes me pancakes, bacon, waffles, steak, ham, lasagna, and home fries but this time with orange juice, thank you very much. (You should have gotten this part if you were playing along today. Just saying.) I eat my large breakfast while watching "Anchorman" twice, back-to-back. (It's a big breakfast and I want to savor it.)
Then I take a bath using Watermelon Elmo Bubble Bath. It leaves me feeling baby soft and smelling like a jolly rancher. After I run around the house, both to air dry and avoid my licking dogs, I take Loly to a park where we recreate "I'll Cover You" from the wonderful musical "Rent." I'm sure it's self-explanatory who will sing what parts.
After the applause from the other people at the park dies down, we get lunch at Houlihan's because I love their chicken fingers with honey mustard. I let Loly get Snickers Crunch Pie because I like to share my daily joy with the love of my life and, also, she's paying.
Needing some exercise, Loly takes me to the miniature golf course that Happy Gilmore plays in the movie. I've always wanted to play mini-golf there. Haven't you?
We are there for a while because I keep winning free rounds on the 18th hole. In fact, when I leave they make a rule limiting the amount of free rounds a person can win. It is called the "18th LimiTortion."
We go to dinner at Calle Ocho for delicious steak with an egg on it. Loly has dessert again.
My birthday ends with Loly and I getting into bed. She rolls over, looks me in the eye, hesitates, and oh so slowly tells me I'm funny. We say good night and I fall asleep hoping to dream about the day all over again.