American Idol Season 9 - Top 7 (Eliminations)

Idol Gives Back would be more successful if they could find a way, in addition to the charity, to give us the time we lost in our lives due to the following performances:

• Everything sung by Jermaine Sellers, John Park, and Haeley Vaughn
• Lacey Brown's "Landslide" and "Ruby Tuesday"
• Paige Miles' "Smile"
• Andrew Garcia's "Gimme Shelter" and "Heard It Through The Grapevine"
• Tim Urban's "Apologize," "Sweet Love," and "Crazy Little Thing Called Love"
• Siobhan Magnus' "Through the Fire"
• Most of Aaron, Katie, and Big Mike

Highlights of the show were Carrie Underwood, Elton John, and Mary J. Blige. Lowlights were the Black Eyed Peas, Alicia Keys, and George Lopez.

Bottom Three:

Aaron Kelly - He's fearless but he's also naive. He's American Idol's equivalent of Wile E. Coyote. He can strap all of the rockets he wants to his back and shoes but he's never going to catch the Road Runner (Season 9 crown).

Don't look for it here, Aaron

Casey James - The dreamy-haired Adonis found the Bottom 3 for the first time. I hope he liked the taste of it because this is where he will stay until he leaves in 2 weeks. Some would suggest that a haircut would be a welcome change but rumors are that the hair is his source of mediocrity. Best to leave it. Why mess with an average thing?

Tim Urban - I will give Tim credit for making it this far. I think he will have a solid CW career going forward and I appreciate how much he lived in the moment and cherished all that Idol allowed him to do. Best of luck to him.

Hallelujah

Final Thoughts: There is no one right now even coming close to the greatness of Lee and Crystal. It will be a real shame if that isn't the Final. Frankly, I won't watch. Can America deal with that kind of boycott because there won't be any hilarious recaps? I vow it. Think about it, Nation. (I've been watching some Colbert lately.)

American Idol Season 9 - Top 7

Alicia Keys was the mentor for Inspirational Songs Week. Over the years, she's inspired countless horrible versions of her "Falling" in American Idol auditions. She mentored like she was assigned to monitor detention. There was no effort at all. This led to a down week on Idol after two strong ones. Fortunately, we made it through the show without "Wind Beneath My Wings" but we weren't lucky enough to avoid "I Believe I Can Fly." Thankfully, it wasn't Big Mike. He doesn't need to associate himself with R. Kelly to scare 12-year-old girls. He does that already. All this week did was further the gap between Crystal/Lee and the rest.

Casey James - "Don't Stop" - This song was like a person who only went halfway into the crosswalk and stopped because it was so middle of the road. The usual Casey. He's never bad. He's just never great with the exception of "Jealous Guy" two weeks ago. He's also getting faux-tan enough to be on "Jersey Shore."

Lee DeWyze - "The Boxer" - This is what I was talking about last week. Going back and forth between the nice softer voice and the harsher screaming voice. It was really well done. If the final isn't Lee and Crystal, America will be watching the cruise ship leave from the dock while holding their bags. Do you know why? BECAUSE THEY MISSED THE BOAT!!

Tim Urban - "Better Days" - The votes are in and the population of Stinkville just elected their mayor. Wow, that was terrible. I was actually yearning to hear the Goo Goo Dolls version. He made the Goo Goo Dolls sound rugged and tough. What's next? Brainy Smurf joining the Crips? No! Bad Tim! Bad!

Aaron Kelly - "I Believe I Can Fly" - The end was decent and might have saved him. Can he stop his hips from moving back and forth? They are like the pendulum in a grandfather clock that you have to take back to the store because an hour goes by in 48 seconds. Slow the hips. It can't be good for your internal organs.

Siobhan Magnus - "When You Believe" - She sings like someone from England or Australia with the extreme enunciation she puts into each word. It was very stiff and this song was too much for her. The butterflies actually tried to put themselves back into their fabric cocoons. She's lucky this is a weak season.

Big Mike - "Hero" - The mouth lick will haunt my dreams forever. That was so awful. This never had a chance to be good. My least favorite contestant singing a song by my least favorite singer (Nickelback). I hope people were inspired to not vote for him. Enjoy the lick below.

Crystal Bowersox - "People Get Ready" - Best of the night. I have nothing to add. No jokes. She's awesome.

Bottom Three: I think Siobhan is safe. If she's here, I'm overestimating her fan base. This will be a guys' Bottom Three. Tim Urban was really bad this week. Big Mike was also horrific. And Aaron Kelly was not good enough to avoid this distinction. Tim's squealing girl following will be enough. Aaron sang well enough to make it. Big Mike is just not a likable human being. Watch the tongue lick again if you want help coming to that conclusion.

Going Home: Big Mike

American Idol - Top 7 (Part 4)

Disco week is over and we're down to the Final Five. Hopefully with this Final Five, the last one standing won't be a ridiculous letdown (Thanks Battlestar Galactica). Anyway, my wife made me fast forward through the washed-up disco superstars of the past. After going back, I can't blame her. They moved so carefully, it felt like the Hall of Presidents in Disney World. I had bad dreams of an animatronic KC attacking me because I refused to get down on the specific night he asked me to. Also, I can't take David Archuleta. He's always out of breath and smiling. How does he do a whole concert if he can't perform one song without being winded? Is he still using his baby lungs? When do those fall out so he can breathe like a grownup?

BOTTOM 3:

Allison Iraheta - I'm praying this position is merely a result of Matt getting saved by the judges and everyone rallying behind him. She should not leave until the Top 3. It's time for America to start thinking about albums. Are you going to buy a Danny or a Matt album? Now answer the question imagining the physical album is in front of you. (That was my "A Time To Kill" moment.)

Lil Rounds - Everyone knew she was going home so they didn't waste any time. She was gone before any guest performances. If she didn't come back out at the end to hug Anoop, I would have sworn Idol had security escort her out. I've never seen an early favorite flounder this badly in 8 seasons of Idol.

Anoop Desai - He's a better singer than Matt. This is a singing competition. Anoop had almost as many chances as Matt throughout the season. (I forgot that they made it a Top 13 for Anoop.) He wasn't going to win but I was pulling for a Top 5 for him. On a side note, he's the second Idol to be booted for singing a song about making the room darker ("Dim All The Lights"). Megan "Spiggles" Joy sang "Turn Your Lights Down Low" on her last week. Is there something to that? The remaining five should stay away from Nelly Furtado's "Turn Off The Light" just to be safe.

Final Thought: Danny needs to do something other than just sing a song next week. I think he can pull off an acapella version of something beautifully. If he keeps his vocals tender, he can put himself back in the Finals discussion. As for Allison, there isn't much she can do. Even a "brilliant" from Simon got her nowhere. She's in trouble. Next week's Bottom 3 is going to be crazy. Adam, Danny, and Kris have never been and one of them has to go according to my superior mathematics skills (each remaining Idol is a finger on my hand). Who will join Matt and Allison in the Bottom 3? I guess we'll have to wait for the performances.

American Idol - Top 7 (Part 3)

It should be the Top 6 but they saved Matt Giraud last week so we have 7 again. However, two will go home this week and all will be well again. Was it me or did Ryan mail in the "THIS is A-MER-ican Idol?" There should be a good ten second pause between "THIS" and "is." Disappointing. It's disco week and I expected awful. Did I get it?

Lil Rounds - "I'm Every Woman" - She finally gave the judges what they wanted in song choice and it still didn't work for her. I hate when I agree with Randy because it means I may have had a stroke or regressed back to the age of 15 months. Regardless, I did feel this was all over the place and simply not good. She tried to put too much Lil into it without having a plan. If there was an upside, this was her best wig. Hands down.

Kris Allen - "She Works Hard For The Money" - It was so good. He's back (as he should be) in the "Who's going to be in the finals with Adam?" talk. The judges tried to ruin Kris' chances again by babbling like children but at least they ended on praise. I can't wait for his album.

Danny Gokey - "September" - He has not been that great for a couple of weeks now. This was a little boring for an upbeat song. I agree with Simon that he doesn't seem to have a special moment in him. He comes out and sings a song well and that's it. I'm running out of love for the Gokes.

Allison Iraheta - "Hot Stuff" - She rocked out Hot Stuff. I agree that it was a weird arrangement but she stayed true to herself. Oh no. Did I just say that? It wasn't karaoke or pitchy. What's happening? For her, for me, that wouldn't have happened on a cruise ship or in a hotel lobby. Make it stop. It was authentic Allison. She knows who she is as an artist. Mommy. Give that girl a phonebook. I have to go.

Adam Lambert - "If I Can't Have You" - His hair was in "Kevin's going to enjoy this one" mode. It's like Robin Williams' beard and an Oscar nomination. It just happens. It was really good. True to his hair. Kara said he looks like a cross between the guy from Saturday Night Live and Clark Kent. Some people are going to get on her because they think she meant Saturday Night Fever but I see it. There's some Chris Kattan in there. I'm with you Kara.

Matt Giraud - "Stayin' Alive" - I'll take a cue and do this Simon-style. "No, he's not." He tried really hard again. When he goes into a falsetto, it hurts my head. It has been good to see him go from cocky in the auditions to giving it his all each week. I still think he's going home with Lil but he deserves to go home second.

Anoop Desai - "Dim All The Lights" - The stylists really got him ready to try out for a Wham tribute band. That or he needs to catch that time machine if he wants to make his audition for Miami Vice. Hurry, Anoop! He can sing and Top 5 is nothing to be ashamed of.

Bottom Three: I'm feeling Lil, Matt, and Anoop. Anoop has been in the bottom three the last few weeks and with there not being many weeks left, that should change. To be fair, Anoop is not far behind Danny but I still think Danny is better. Though, if Anoop does well next week and Danny continues his decline, anything can happen. Remember Chris Daughtry? There's not much left to say about Lil and Matt. I said it all last week. Time to go home.

Going Home: Lil Rounds and Matt Giraud

American Idol - Top 7 (Part 2)

I feel empty after last night's results show. On the one hand, I got the Bottom 3 correct (though it was easy). On the other hand, we still have seven contestants. The show started off with the Idol medley of "Maniac" from "Flashdance." I did not enjoy it at all. For me, "Maniac" is one of those untouchable songs because no one will ever do it as well as Chris Farley. Anyway, on to the results:

BOTTOM 3: 

Anoop Desai - Like he said on the show, it's not up to the judges or him to say whether his performance was good enough to be safe. America is not a big fan of Anoop. He has put in two great performances in a row and gotten Bottom 3 status each time. He will be lucky to crack the Top 5. Still nothing to sneeze at. I mean, I'd sneeze at it but I hold myself to higher standards. 

Lil Rounds - I thought she was going home but she was not the lowest vote getter. This means Simon will actually set her on fire next week after she's done singing. Part of me thinks she's ready for it though. She seems to be carrying a lot of supplies in the back of her pants. Hopefully amidst all of that junk, there's a fire extinguisher.

Matt Giraud - He was the lowest vote getter and sang worse than the previous night. How could he not? He was away from his comfort instrument and had his Idol fate on the line. Simon said to him that he doesn't think he can win the competition and then proceeded to use the Judges' Save on him. What? You don't have to use it, judges. Do they know that? Why would you waste it on someone that you don't think can win it all? That's like landing on $5000 and giving Pat Sajak your Free Spin. It doesn't make any sense. Sure Matt was happy and crying. He should be. Now he has to go through the process of getting voted off again next week.

Final Thought: So there will be two contestants voted off next week. I predict Lil and Matt will be those two. I don't see how another week saves them. Truthfully, that would leave the best five. Disco week should be fun. I can't wait to hear Adam do "Don't Leave Me This Way" or even better, "Disco Duck."

American Idol - Top 7 (Part 1)

It's Songs From The Movies Week with mentor Quentin Tarentino. The guy can direct anything. His suggestions for the singers were so perfect each time tonight. I know he's a little off in terms of public comportment but he does know how to make something better. This night was a large improvement over last week and it was not as easy to pick an actual Bottom 3 (I can pick a voted Bottom 3 but for bad singing, not easy). Only 2 judges get to talk this week because of last week's gigantic overrun (and they still went over).

Allison Iraheta - "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" - Odd arrangement of it. Not the music but the words she got to sing. It seemed to skip around. Kind of like she took all of the lyrics and threw them at the wall and sang the 30 closest to her. Anyway, it was really good as usual and Simon finally liked it without saying an unnecessary vote-draining insult (awful clothes/not likable).

Anoop Desai - "Everything I Do, I Do It For You" - I hate this song so much. It was so overplayed when it came out and then it became a love song cliche like anything off the Bodyguard soundtrack. But I liked it tonight which is a testament to Anoop. He sang it really well. Too bad there isn't room left in the competition for him. The judges (Kara and Randy) liked it and Simon was angry he didn't get to say anything.

Adam Lambert - "Born To Be Wild" - I did not enjoy his prance out onto the stage to start the song. It was awful. I hate when they say he is the real deal. Everything is so calculated. It's a performance from the moment the song starts. Here's how I picture Adam's preparation: "When I was in Tommy, I got a lot of good reviews for this fist pump I did so I thought I would give it a shot here." I may be old fashioned but a fist pump should come from the soul and not some predetermined plan. Rocking should not be choreographed.

Matt Giraud - "Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman" - Big night for Bryan Adams. Is this Canadian Idol? I kid. I feel like a broken record but it started out good (just like "Let's Get It On" and "Part Time Lover"). Then it got not so good and then ugly. I would have preferred it to just be him at the piano instead of the whole band and the background singers. Anyway, I still think he's back next week. 

Danny Gokey - "Endless Love" - No glasses. Is that allowed? Quentin took away his hands too. Danny does tend to use his hand to "knit" through the lyrics. It's a knitting motion. Anyway, this was Stripped-Down Danny. Paula thought the beginning was not so good. Simon thought it was boring. I have to agree. I like Danny and he can sing but he is not the frontrunner I thought him to be. He's just an awesome singer and this makes me sad.

Kris Allen - "Falling Slowly" - Brilliant. I love this song. So good. I'm so angry that my wife told me that Randy didn't like it before I watched it this morning. Randy said he knew the song but I don't think he did. He likes to name drop and that would have been the perfect time to drop Glen Hansard. Kara loved it and so did Paula but because of time restraints, Ryan cut Kara off leaving Kris with minimal praise. Not right. I'm sure he's thrilled. Still, my favorite of the night.

Lil Rounds - "The Rose" - I thought she did fine and she added the gospel part to it which was actually really good. Simon ripped her apart again and was extra cruel. She fought back which was good and she did it respectfully which was smart. Though, I know how Lil could have done better tonight. She should have written the Mary J. Blige story, made it into a movie, and done a song from that. She's just not trying anymore if you ask me.

Bottom Three: I'm looking at Matt, Anoop, and Lil. Matt was not that great this week and he could have been. I think he's been hanging on to that last safe spot and this week it's not there. Anoop was in the Bottom 3 with his "True Colors" last week so there's no reason to think another great performance like tonight will land him anywhere but. Poor Anoop. Lil has been beat up too many weeks now. She is not going to win and I truly feel everyone else is better. I'm also feeling a slight chance of a Danny shocker but I hope not.

Going Home: Lil Rounds