Thoughts On My New "Head Shot"

NOTE - This is not photoshopped. I swear on my wife.

The following picture is a still from a new video where I play Jacob from Twilight (coming Monday!). Like the mysterious Bigfoot, sometimes the camera catches things we did not know were real. Please don't stare at it too long. I want you to still desire other things in life besides me.

It's not everyday that the camera captures how you see yourself in your dreams. It's about time my outside caught up to the beautiful person I am on the inside. I didn't know Canon made a sexy lens attachment. (I've learned that the camera refuses to take any more pictures because it can never achieve this again. Also, the camera is pregnant.) Look at those eyes. You ladies are lucky I'm happily married because those eyes can melt your heart. Then I would catch those meltings in a cup and drink them so you would be a part of me. My shirt fought valiantly trying to contain that chest and those arms but failed. It will be missed.

I think the world needs this Kevin Tor more than it needs the one typing this blog entry.

Let's look at how the two Kevin Tors (labeled "Hot Kevin" and "Bland Kevin") would talk in life:

Bland Kevin - "I like to make people laugh."

Hot Kevin - "New studies show that I'm the best medicine."

Bland Kevin - "Hey honey, dinner is almost ready."

Hot Kevin - "Do you smell what Hot Kevin is cooking?"

Bland Kevin - "I think motorcycles are scary."

Hot Kevin - "I make love to motorcycles...slowly."

Bland Kevin - "I think I'm coming down with something."

Hot Kevin - "I sneezed once. My nose knows better than to try that again."

Bland Kevin - "Hey, can I borrow a pencil?"

Hot Kevin - "Write this down for me and I'll let you stare at my pec."

Bland Kevin - "What do you want to watch tonight?"

Hot Kevin - "I want to take you to a meadow and smear you in sap so our bodies can fuse together as one! Then, Night Court."

Bland Kevin - "I live in a nice townhouse."

Hot Kevin - "I have a sweet loft on Mount Olympus. I let Hercules crash on my futon."