American Idol Season 9 - Top 5 (Elimination)

And then there were 2.

Wait, I got ahead of myself. Big Mike and Casey are still around. I advanced the show to its logical conclusion before the producers got to do it. Think I'm being silly, though? How much were Big Mike and Aaron involved in the Ford commercial or the medleys? Not much. The judges are so pro-Lee that they haven't commented on his pitch problems since pre-Top 12. I've read many American Idol blogs talking about his pitch problems. I don't claim to know about singing in tune. However, I did hear a bad note or two when I rewatched this week's show. Still, they want him in the finals and Crystal too. No amount of love for Big Mike is going to change that or shots of Casey's butt for that matter.

There was no Bottom 3 this week.

Bottom 2:

Big Mike - The voting public must love pork because that's the only way to explain how this ham has made it this far. He will have another week of Randy praising him and America not voting for him. It really bothers me how much joy his wife shows in his survival while someone else's dream is shattered. I swear significant others in the past have shown much more subtlety in their celebrations of earning another week. Though, I wouldn't expect Big Mike to marry someone who is subtle. That's like a bear marrying an unsubtle bear.

Aaron Kelly - I never liked him but he's in the right place for Idol losers - country. If you don't win Idol, it is best to go country. This isn't a knock on the type of music but former Idol contestants have found solid careers in country music.

1. Kelly Pickler - She has won actual awards!?!?
2. Josh Gracin - He was the marine.
3. Bucky Covington - He was not very good but he's apparently good now!
4. Phil Stacey - Bet you never thought you'd see his lemur-like face again.
5. Kristy Lee Cook - She's got some looks to her...
6. Danny Gokey - Really??

Final Thoughts: We are a week away from getting to hear Lee and Crystal sing twice. That's something to look forward to. I have no other thoughts other than the fact that I love Lady Gaga. For me, for you, this wasn't her best performance but I'm still a fan. She just entertains. She can sing the phone book or monotone speak the phone book. It doesn't matter. I love when she takes the stage. I wish she would mentor. Maybe next season.

American Idol Season 9 - Top 5

Harry Connick, Jr. is a great musician. And a total goofball. I was nervous when I heard that he was arranging the songs for them because I like when the Idols (Lee and Crystal) do their own thing but I think it worked out. Truthfully, I feel like as long as Lee is ok, the mentor did a good job. Also, they still found a way to go over the hour and cut into Glee with only 5 singers. How?!?!

Aaron Kelly - "Fly Me to the Moon" - When his hips wiggle like that, I like to picture him with 12 hula hoops about his waist. It makes the boring performances more entertaining. "Keep going, Aaron! Oh no, one's falling! Wait, the song's over?" Perfect.

Something to shoot for, Aaron. That's 100.

Casey James - "Blue Skies" - The Brookstone massage chair was at the highest setting for this song. Now I know why Casey never holds notes. It's because the world isn't ready for it. Casey needs to find another world where they will accept that kind of singing. And I think he can book a ticket on an exploratory rocket for tomorrow morning.

Crystal Bowersox - "Summer Wind" - I thought it was dull. It sounded pretty but I didn't want to hear it a second time which I have for past Crystal performances. She talks back too much and the stylists dress her horribly. If she was on "What Not to Wear," Stacy and Clinton would throw out her whole Idol wardrobe before they gave her a shopping spree.

"It all starts with a bra that really fits."

Big Mike - "The Way You Look Tonight" - It's never good when he's my other favorite besides Lee. It was good. I'll begrudgingly give it to him. I'm handing over the positive critique with a tight grip as Big Mike tries to take it but I won't let go. "Good job, Big Mike," comes off my tongue just as easily as "Here, you can have my winning Mega Millions ticket," but he deserves it. Damn it.

Lee DeWyze - "That's Life" - Minus a strange arrangement at the end, I loved it. A good performance from Lee is like waking up in the morning. You just know it's going to happen. Lee took the top spot from Crystal tonight after being second all season. Just like Phil will take Tiger's spot this weekend. Great job.

Bottom Three: We will finally have Crystal in the Bottom 3. She'll be fine but I think she belongs here after two so-so weeks. Aaron will be here as usual but he has more of a teenage girl following than Casey does so he'll be safe. That leaves Casey who failed to put consistent weeks together. If he was in trouble after being good last week, then he will easily go home after this crapfest.

Going Home: Casey James

American Idol - Top 5 (Part 2)

The results came in and WOW. Talk about being wrong. I wasn't even close tonight and I'm glad about it but we'll get to that in a second. First, I'm glad to see the Idols singing the medley instead of lip synching. When they all have careers on Broadway, they are going to have to sing and move around as a group. It's just good practice. 

Natalie Cole looks more and more like her father every day. Not the way he used to look. The way he looks now. (EDIT: I'm leaving this in to show what a jerk I am but Natalie Cole is in need of a kidney transplant and is on dialysis 3 times a week. I'm awful.) Taylor Hicks played something really quickly and muted based on how I watched it. And Jamie Foxx auto-tuned away his genuinely good singing voice. It was a poor night for superstar guests. 

One more thing: Did Simon make me like him again with his praise for Danny and Allison and his other comments at the end? I think he did. I can never stay mad at you, Cowell.

BOTTOM 3:

Kris Allen - Kris does not belong here. I was definitely surprised but he was the first one sent back to the safety couch. Guess that iTunes leak wasn't a good gauge for the public's voting. If you can't trust that, what can you trust? Now, I know how Jack Bauer feels. I'm still going to download Kris' performance off Tony Almeida - I mean, iTunes.

Adam Lambert - This was the biggest shock since the flash forward episode of "Lost." My jaw dropped as much as Kara's. Should I wait for Randy and Simon's immature gigglefest or continue with my blog? I'll continue. I cannot believe he was in the Bottom 2. This brought me joy. I know there are huge Adam Lambert fans and he can truly sing but I'm so glad. An American Idol should be a genuine performer not an actor that can sing. Good job, America. This is pure payback for picking sides in the "Which group do you think you belong in?" crap they do every season.

Matt Giraud - He was the one that should have gone home this week. He was so elusive though. He was turning American Idol in "Final Destination 5." (I can't believe there are four of them, either.) He made it really far and he gave a great performance but the other Idols were simply better than him.

Final Thought: Danny and Allison? I'm so happy for Allison but I am definitely confused by what happened. In all fairness, when my mom asked me who the best ones were this week, I said Danny and Allison. It's just surprising that this happened. Does this mean that supposed frontrunner Adam will be making a Chris Daughtry-like fourth place exit? Can Kris overcome Danny for the Finals? Did I just put Allison in the driver's seat? Well she is 17 now. See you next week.

American Idol - Top 5 (Part 1)

It's Rat Pack Week. The host for Rat Pack Week...Jamie Foxx. I was confused by this but I will never doubt Jamie Foxx again. How can you? Look at all he's accomplished. After watching him with the Idols, I felt like I could do anything with Jamie Foxx at my side. Is he rentable?

Kris Allen - "The Way You Look Tonight" - It was so beautiful. Like him. I said it. He's a beautiful person. You wanna fight? A recent leak on iTunes showed he's the second-most downloaded Idol (after Adam). How can he not be in the finals? Except Simon, the judges loved him tonight. Why does Simon hate him so much? He doesn't think he can win the competition? He's the only guy who's album I would buy. Jamie Foxx agrees.

Allison Iraheta - "Someone To Watch Over Me" - Ever since I read that she adds an 'H' in front of some words in her phrasing, it's glaring. "Someone to hwatch over meeeee." It's like when Stewie does the Kool HWhip thing on Family Guy. 

But she still sings amazingly. I just wish I had never had that pointed out. The judges liked it but that doesn't seem to matter. While Paula has been tremendously better this year, she is still awkward. I figured out what it was. Paula has an multi-syllable-adjective-a-day calendar. Alluring? Stellar? I'm on to you, Abdul.

Matt Giraud - "My Funny Valentine" - Jaime Foxx fixed him! Wow. He snuck in a falsetto at the end but it was fine. This was probably my favorite Matt performance since "Georgia." I didn't know he could sing that well. It makes me question what else I don't know about the world. Should I be eating beets? Is it time to start reading the Twilight books? Do my dogs need more attention? Jamie Foxx, thank you. Because of this, I will see "The Soloist"...on DVD.

Danny Gokey - "Come Rain Or Come Shine" - This week is ridiculously good. I said that Danny needed a magical performance in last week's blog and he went for it. The end was arranged differently and I really liked it. Though Danny usually tends to leave you thinking a performance was better than it was by blowing out the ending with huge singing. However, this time I believe it was a good performance. Also, I think that hand gesture during the phone numbers was supposed to be a heart but it looked like a bean. Do a better heart, Danny.

Adam Lambert - "Feelin' Good" - Hair down. Didn't like it. The trend continues. It was over the top. The arrangement was rough. It was so theatrical like always. And then for Simon to say that theatrical is fine because that's who he is. How do all the awesome theatrical singers of Idol past feel about that statement? I'm done with Simon. He's wet. He's indulgent. He needs to leave the show or start critiquing the actual performance on stage and not giving a prepared response leading to a predetermined Finals of Adam and Danny! Where am I? 

Bottom Three: This is tough because you have to put people that you like in the Bottom 3. I predict Allison, Matt, and Danny. I really think Kris is more popular than Danny even though he has one of those living wives. Matt isn't one of the top two popular people and neither is Allison (she wasn't even top four last week). As much as I hate to do it, I think it is time for Allison to take her red hair and go. We get one more week of the Mole Man. I hope I'm wrong. I hope I'm so wrong.

Going Home: Allison Iraheta