Carlos Mencia Responds To South Park

After Kanye West posted his response to this week's South Park, Carlos Mencia felt the need to come out and say something as well on his blog. I'll post it here.

"HEY, MAN. SOUTH PARK WAS GREAT THIS WEEK. WHEN I FIRST CAME UP WITH THE IDEA FOR SOUTH PARK, I WAS IN MINNESOTA AND I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD COME THIS FAR, YOU KNOW? IT WAS A SILLY IDEA FOR THESE 4 KIDS TO BE ALL DIRTY AND STUFF. SO I WENT TO WORK IN MY LAB AND I BUILT TREY PARKER AND MATT STONE OUT OF SOME CRAP I HAD AROUND THE HOUSE. MACGUYVER-STYLE, YOU KNOW? WELL, MAYBE, DEL GUYVER-STYLE. HEHE. ANYWAYS, I MADE TREY AND MATT AND TOLD THEM TO HAVE FUN WITH THE SHOW AND IF THEY NEEDED ANYTHING, TO GIVE ME A RING. SOME PEOPLE ASKED ME IF I WAS OFFENDED BY THE EPISODE. SERIOUSLY, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK THEM THIS LONG TO PUT IT UP SINCE I WROTE THE SCRIPT FOR IT IN 1995. HOW DID THEY SIT ON 'FISH STICKS' THIS LONG? LOCO. SO, GLAD YOU ENJOYED MY EPISODE. I KNEW IT WOULD HOLD UP. LIKE I SAID TO BILL COSBY WHEN I FOUND HIM AT A GARAGE SALE IN 1960, 'IF IT'S FUNNY, PEOPLE WILL LAUGH AT IT NO MATTER HOW MANY YEARS PASS.' AND THEN I GAVE HIM SOME JOKES TO GET HIS CAREER STARTED. GOOD GUY. THAT'S IT FOR ME. LATER, BITCHEZ!"

I'm shocked personally. None of that stuff is on his Wikipedia page.

Goodbye, Blindy McNoSee (AI Top 8 Part 2)

I promised a good friend of mine that I would make that the title of my blog after Scott was sent home packing. However, I promise that is it for the Scott bashing. He doesn't deserve any more.

BOTTOM THREE:

Lil Rounds - The early favorite beside Danny finally found her way into the bottom three. There's only so many weeks you can spell the judges' hatred with popularity. Eventually, it catches up to you. Lil looks like she is going to snap any second. After she gets voted off, she's going to show up at Randy Jackson's house wearing Mary J. Blige's skin on her face yelling, "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?!?! IS IT?!?! I'M MARY J! REAL LOVE IS ABOUT TO TURN INTO REAL PAIN!!!" 

Anoop Desai - Anoop did not belong in the Bottom 3 after his last performance but we are getting down to the wire here so being good one night doesn't necessarily mean you will stay. When Anoop does get voted off, I would love for him to put each of the judges in their places. He seems like he's holding back some things. "Frat boy on a dare, Kara? Really? Let me ask you this: Did you really write all those songs or did you get help from four people? [holding up 3 fingers] I have your package artist right here! [a cruder gesture]"

Scott MacIntyre - I have been an awful person to Scott in these blogs. I took out my frustration with America and the judges on him which was misplaced. He seems like a genuinely nice guy with a great sense of humor. I feel like he has a long career ahead of him as an adult contemporary singer and what he accomplished was inspirational. I wish him all the best. (See? I told you I'd do it right.)

Final Thought: I was wrong about Allison! That made me so happy. She is the better female and one of the three best singers left in the competition. If this is going to shape up properly, Lil, Matt, and Anoop will be the next ones to go leaving an incredible Top 4. Finally, Ryan needs to give it up on the suspense dialogue. It's getting a little retarded. "Last week you were in the Bottom 3. This week you....will...also...be given a placement in the competition...[contestant's name] come over here...stop...turn around and sit...on those seats way over there...but not...I'm sorry, [contestant's name], you are...the opposite of not not safe. Here's a tissue. Your ears are bleeding....from joy!"

Funny Stuff That Ain't Mine: Everyone Poops

It's not fall down funny but it's enjoyable.

American Idol - Top 8 (Part 1)

It's Songs From The Year You Were Born" Week. I remember when I first started watching Idol, some of the songs were from before I was born. Now, I think some were from last week. I'm so glad they got rid of the judges' entrance. That was like when the bridal party enters the reception but with even more forced applause and no promise of good food at the end. This week, I'm going to review the performance and then put what song that person should have done (if they picked the wrong song) or could have done (if they picked the right song but I wanted to hear another one).

Danny Gokey - "Stand By Me" - This was a terrible arrangement of the song. It started off good but the middle was totally mailed in and then the end was better. This was not that great of a performance for Gokes. The judges liked it, as usual, but he has been hit or miss lately. Also, isn't it cheating to find a cover for a song you like? If he wanted to do "Stand By Me," he should have done the right thing and been born in 1961. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Bette Midler's "The Rose"

Kris Allen - "All She Wants To Do Is Dance" - He's in the middle of the crowd like Matt last week. Not a cool spot. Why did he pick this song? I enjoyed it but the judges did not and why should they? They won't praise Kris because he wasn't one of the three they picked on Leno (Danny, Adam, Lil). After last week's amazing performance, he was screwed this week no matter what. Also, Simon needs to give up on the word indulgent. Simon has not been great this year. Too busy flirting with Paula to give his usual correct assessment. SHOULD HAVE DONE: John Waite's "Missing You"

Lil Rounds - "What's Love Got To Do With It?" - This is the best Lil has been in my opinion. Her look was better though leather vests belong on someone leaning against a hog outside the Broken Spoke Saloon. Oddly, the judges were not impressed. They ripped her to shreds again. Can she take it anymore? This was the first time she said "If there's a next time..." as opposed to "Next week, I'll do better." Not looking good for Lil. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Lionel Richie's "Hello" or Phil Collins' "Against All Odds"

Anoop Desai - "True Colors" - Wow, Anoop! I thought you were on your way out. It was beautiful. So good. I loved Anoop's reaction after Randy said, "Dude, you can really sing." It was like, "Gee thanks, jerkoff. Yeah, and I had sex with your wife and you're still fat." Anoop is the first contestant to wear on his face the realization that all the judges (even Simon sometimes) are idiots. COULD HAVE DONE: Eddie Murphy's "Party All The Time" 

Scott MacIntyre - "The Search Is Over" - This was awful. I wanted it to stop. That near the end note was something special (in that it came from a special person?). He needs to go home before I get meaner and crueler. I can't take hearing Kara and Paula stumble to find complements for an awful performance. Send him home. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Chaka Khan's "I Feel For You" (See? I need him to go home.)

Allison Iraheta - "I Can't Make You Love Me" - They can't stop Kelly Clarkson-ing her red hair. It's distracting. The performance was really good. After last week's ok No Doubt, she came back strong. She is one of the Top 3 in this competition right now but the judges won't give her praise (see Kris above). Simon said she's not likable? Really? That's not going to help keep her out of the Bottom 3 this week. COULD HAVE DONE: En Vogue's "My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It) or Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Under The Bridge"

Matt Giraud - "Part Time Lover" - In my wife's mind, Nikko Smith made this song untouchable. I actually thought Matt did a good job with it. They put the hat on him to cover the forehead mole. He got to move around and show his rhythm. It was no Nikko but it was still good. Not standing o good, Kara, but regular good. SHOULD HAVE DONE: Wham!'s "Careless Whisper" or Prince's "Raspberry Beret"

Adam Lambert - "Mad World" - Simon gave him a standing ovation. Simon. It was good. He didn't do the screaming thing. Adam is funny to me. I understand his talent. I find him tremendously likable when they interview him. He's just hit or miss for me when he sings in terms of my own personal taste. Regardless, tonight was very good. The last note was a little tough but he did nail it in the practice performance that they use for the night's recap so the lasting memory is of him hitting it. COULD HAVE DONE: Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" or "Open Arms" or Tommy Tutone's "867-5309"

Bottom Three: I'm looking at Scott, Allison, and Lil. It kills me to put Allison here but I have to be realistic. America is not voting for her like they should and the judges aren't helping. She should be safe for another week, though. For me, it was a toss up between Lil and Anoop for the third spot. I went with Lil because Anoop was better and gave a genuine apology for the Kara thing which makes two great performances this week to Lil's one.

Going Home: Scott MacIntyre

NoBuddies - Pregnant Girl Part 2 (Episode 8)

Wondering how Cal will handle being a dad? Don't know what I'm talking about? (Click here, jerk.) Welcome back. Good, right? You still didn't watch it. Come on! It's good. Do it. Do it. Do it.

The second part of pregnancy episode. Will Cal do the right thing and be a father to Alexis and his baby? If you've been watching NoBuddies at all, the answer is no.

Bill - William Franke
Cal - Kevin Tor
Girl - Sue White
Gray - Sean McCormack
Alexis - Catherine Nicora

Directed by William Franke
Written by Kevin Tor

Music - "Flow is Special" by rockamic (ccMixter)

American Idol - Top 9 (Part 2)

Top Downloads week was a disaster (minus Kris and Danny) so I'm going to work quickly and put it behind us. We need as much time as possible to recuperate before next week. I want start by saying that David Cook and Lady GaGa made the night. David Cook is still awesome even if I'm not so sure about his new album. And Lady GaGa rocked Poker Face. I know I'm apparently anti-Lady GaGa (I'm not) but her piano and violin opening to Poker Face was incredible. Once she got into the regular version, it was ok but that opening...Wow! Anyway, onto the results:

BOTTOM THREE:

Allison Iraheta - This is not good. If you make it into the Bottom Three once, it could be an accident but if it happens twice, it means America is not digging you for realsies. I don't get it. She's one of the four best singers in the competition no matter how you rank them. Even if the judges use the save on her in the next two weeks, what stops her from going home the following week? She's in trouble.

Anoop Desai - Uptempo song = Bottom Three. Slow ballad = Safe. It really comes down to whether Anoop wants to have fun or stay in the competition. I don't think Anoop can win so I hope he has fun next week and enjoys touring. Top 8 is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm kinda down on Anoop for back-talking to Kara. It was pointless and made him look like a bully. Kara has four phrases ("package artist," "not the right song," "I have words," " i.e. Everyone wants to get it on with you") and you don't debate someone like that. It's like telling off a duck.

Megan Joy - It was time and she knew it. She put on a brave face because she achieved what she wanted, she didn't want to get ripped to shreds anymore, and she needed to be back with her son. I also liked that the judges didn't even care about the Judges' Save and told her to enjoy the moment. Spiggles will be missed but she was a cool, uninhibited, klutzy, hot girl.

Final Thought: This was my worst week of predicting the Bottom Three thus far (1 out of 3). Unfortunately, unless the judges really praise Allison next week, it looks like she'll be back. I think it's time for Anoop or Scott to go next but we'll see. Lil should be in more trouble than she is but she can thank Ryan for playing the adorable-kids-hugging-the-judges card.

American Idol - Top 9 (Part 1)

This week's American Idol had 2 great performances and then a whole lot of disappointment. It was Top Downloads Week and that meant that if a song has ever been downloaded, they could sing it tonight. Just looking at my downloads, I was looking forward to some kickin' tunes. Oh well, looks like Idol was not sexy enough for Right Said Fred tonight and it will be just another day without Jon Secada. I'm on today. You are in for a treat, readers.

Anoop Desai - "Caught Up" - It was weird. He slowed it down so much. Urshur would not be happy with this. Plus he had that chain that I'm thinking was holding his left arm on. Again, weird. Anoop should be fine.

Megan Joy - "Turn Your Light Down Low" - That was awful. Spiggles needs to go. It sounded like she was trying to do Charles Nelson Reilly. I couldn't wait for it to be over. I've already listened to the Lauryn Hill version six times this morning to try to get rid of it. Not working.

Danny Gokey - "What Hurts The Most" - Danny Gokey's grandfather died since the last show. It is both fortunate (haters are tired of his grieving) and unfortunate (the guy can't grieve) that it did not come up. Anyway, it was really good. I'm glad he did this because he's had a couple of rough weeks. This was one of those two great ones I talked about earlier.

Allison Iraheta - "Don't Speak" - I like her but I didn't love it. Still she's better than most. The judges were really focused on her clothes. I guess they didn't love it either but want her to stay in the competition so they picked on the outfit. Allison should stop listening to the stylist. Doesn't she remember how awful they made Carly Smithson look last year? Also of note: Paula called her guitar an axe. That sounded about as natural as a bear and a hamster getting it on. Don't be cool, Paula.

Scott MacIntyre - "Just The Way You Are" - Oh man, does he try to out-boring himself each week? "This week, I'm going to drone a single low note and next week, I'll sit in the middle of the stage with my back to the audience for three minutes doing nothing." Son of a... The judges thought it was his best performance so he's safe. Grrrreeeeeaaaaat.

Matt Giraud - "You Found Me" - This might be the newest song ever done on Idol. At the start of it, it seemed like we were headed back to Coldplay territory but he got it back. The judges did not like it and thought it sounded too much like The Fray. He may have taken a step back this week after some great weeks. At least, he can curl up with his giant face mole for comfort.

Lil Rounds - "I Surrender" - Celine Dion? Really? Why Lil? Moving her way through Destiny's Child looks, this week she had a Kelly Rowland thing going on. Well, Kelly Rowland if she was going to the prom. It started off a little crummy but then she belted notes and it was good. She should be fine but, like Simon said, she seems to be fading in terms of confidence and just flailing on the stage. (Not physically flailing like she's miming falling off a building but metaphorically flailing.)

Adam Lambert - "Play That Funky Music" - This is asking for trouble. I am not going to like this. It's the worst. The judges loved it. I don't get him. Does anyone else notice that he screams and looks ridiculous? It's all an act. A terrible, rapist-looking act. He makes me uncomfortable.

Kris Allen - "Ain't No Sunshine" - Brilliant. That was so good, I am going to spell his name right from now on. He's earned that. He's my new favorite. Hands down. Is it too early to Kris-en him the champion? (Oh God, that was so well done. I told you I was on.)

Bottom Three: I think Megan, Matt, and Lil are in the bottom three. I want Scott in there but I think he's going to get a huge boost from the judges' comments. Lil will be ruined mentally if she is in the bottom three but I have a bad feeling that's where we're headed. Matt was not great this week so I don't see how he avoids last week's fate. And Megan was downright terrible.

Going Home: Megan Joy