American Idol Season 9 - Top 3

There will be an abbreviated American Idol recap today. There is a lot of baby stuff to get done around the house so I don't think I can take the time. Tonight was Lee's night. Everyone can agree on that. Let's start with the Idols' choices.

Casey James - "Ok, It's Alright With Me" - I don't know the song. It sounded fine. Nothing exciting. Still, I think this is a song style that Casey can be good at. He could go the John Mayer route of limited vocals/awesome guitar. He just has to avoid Jessica Simpson.

Crystal Bowersox - "Come To My Window" - That was a weird arrangement of it. Did she take all of the lyrics and put them in bingo machine? It was such a mess and didn't sound that great, either.

To window come my

Lee DeWyze - "Simple Man" - It was very good. So much better than last week. They should have called him BP because he killed that Seal but this is how you move on. This first round was like picking between LeBron James and two of me from my high school JV team. Hint -Take LeBron.

And now the judges' choices:

Casey James - "Daughters" - This was pure sabotage by Kara and Randy. Everyone was pretty sure Casey was going home this week before he opened his mouth but Kara and Randy did all they could to ensure it short of giving him "I'm Every Woman." I know I said he's a John Mayer type but this is a terrible John Mayer song and there was little he could do with it.

Crystal Bowersox - "Maybe I'm Amazed" - Surprisingly good. I did not know she could do the screaming parts. Light years better than the Melissa Etheridge song. This was Empire Strikes Back and that was Phantom Menace. Way to make the Finals, StarWarsox.

Lee DeWyze - "Hallelujah" - I was not happy with this choice by Simon. It felt lazy. Not only does this song belong to Jason Castro but Tim Urban did it about ten weeks ago. It's been done this season! Regardless, Lee sang it so well. This contest was like my groceries when I get back from the store - in the environmentally-safe bag. He deserves to win the whole thing. Sorry, Crystal.

Going Home: Casey James

American Idol Season 9 - Top 6

Shania Twain Week was better than I thought it was going to be. She's so likable. Is she Irish Canadian? Her accent is confusing. She sounded like Brad Pitt in "Snatch" at times. Anyway, I guess if there has to be a "country" week on American Idol, this was the way to do it.

Lee DeWyze - "You're Still The One" - Lee is like a 1994 Ford Taurus. He's reliable. Another solid performance from him and that's all he needs to do on this show. I simply like hearing him sing. More like Lee DeBecauze! Am I right?

Big Mike - "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing" - The stairs have been bad luck this season. Aaron and Siobhan had terrible moments starting on the stairs. Big Mike licks his lips too much. Are they chapped? Also, I think he wears all of the jewelry and accessories to hold him down from floating away on his inflated ego. He must have studied Wanya Morris from Boyz II Men because he does all of his movements. Watch.

The difference is that Wanya Morris earned the right to look like a pompous ass by selling millions and millions and millions of albums.

Casey James - "Don't" - I liked Jealous Guy better but this was good, too. It's nice when he doesn't stand on stage and jam on the electric. We all know he can play a mean ax. (Is that right? Or is it "axe?") When he pushes his voice, he vibrates like he's sitting in a massage chair on high at Brookstone. Casey James - he's gr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-e-a-a-t!

Crystal Bowersox - "No One Needs To Know" - I'm not enjoying this at all. What's happening? Will she be in the Bottom 3? It's possible. She got very defensive when the judges actually criticized her. America doesn't like that and because she has been shining every week, this is the first time we've seen this side of her. Ew, Crystal. Bad form.

Aaron Kelly - "You Got a Way" - Aaron was like a giant drill making a tunnel in the side of a mountain because...wait for it...he was boring! What kind of musical career could he possibly have? The only thing I can think of is he could play Ben Stein's teacher part in a Ferris Bueller musical.

Bueller! Have you seen that student?

Bueller! His attendance would be prudent.

Bueller! Bueller! BUELLERRRR!

(Cue Dancers)

Siobhan Magnus - "Any Man of Mine" - At one point, the mic tried to stop working to put us out of our misery. Actually, I don't know if it was her or the song. At times, it felt like she was singing the "Time Warp." That might have been better. Can Shania Twain go back in time and write that song instead? In fact, that's the perfect nickname for Siobhan - Rocky Horror. Her performances are shaky and frighteningly bad.

Bottom Three: I don't really care how much Randy thought this week was in Aaron's wheelhouse, he's in the Bottom Three. Joining him will be Big Mike because the voters don't even know who Luther Vandross is, let alone want someone who sounds like him. Also, he's icky to look at. For the last spot, it would be fun to see Crystal here because that would guarantee her a spot in the Final but I think it will be Casey over Siobhan. He had a good week but Rocky Horror has a loyal following.

Going Home: Aaron Kelly

American Idol Season 9 - Top 12 (Eliminations)

The night started off amazing (not with David Cook) but with Randy Jackson not booing Simon Cowell's introduction for the first time in 3 seasons. This is unprecedented, folks. I never thought the day would come. It just goes to show that there's hope in this crazy world. (Pause to gather myself.)

Bottom 3:

Tim Urban - His take on the Rolling Stones focused more on the "rolling." Am I right, mon? I'm not. I don't know what I'm talking about. Was that Jamaican? Should I go with a Jamaican joke now that puns "You're making?" No? Good. This was my mistake in my Bottom 3 predictions from yesterday. I expected his cuteness to carry him through but it's good to know he's vulnerable. I still expect him to make the Tour.

Paige Miles - The pity votes for laryngitis were not as big as I expected.. Time to step it up with a bigger disease next week. I would start by licking the fake Elvis outside Grauman's Chinese Theatre. He's gotta be covered in 20 years of LA germs. She needs a performance that is unanimously heralded by the judges to avoid going home next week.

Lacey Brown - It's the end of the road for the cub (that's a baby cougar). Her problem was she never figured out what jungle cat she wanted to be. She had a cougar face but wore leopard print and sometimes cheetah print. At this point in the competition, they are looking for someone that knows what exotic animal they want to be. That's why she's going home.

Final Thought: Andrew Garcia is more popular than I thought. How many weeks can he be ripped apart by the judges and stay out of the Bottom 3? I can't see it being much longer. I was surprised that the Idols are allowed to pick their "Save" song instead of being forced to sing the one that got them kicked off. That's a nice touch as it was always my complaint last year. Next week's theme has not been announced so I can't make a prediction as to who will go home. Let's say Paige for the heck of it.

American Idol Season 9 - Top 16 (Eliminations)

Well, that was something. I went 1 for 4 on my picks this week and I'm glad I got them wrong. I would never want to be associated with guessing last night's debacle of eliminations correctly. What is wrong with America?

Going Home:

Katelyn Epperly - I was worried about her. She picked one of the least enjoyable songs out of a list of every song ever created. I guess that was enough to condemn her to a four-person montage goodbye package. If anything, Katelyn deserved her own goodbye package. This was a big mistake by America. She was talented and pretty. Isn't that what this competition usually dreams of?

Todrick Hall - He never really shined. The Queen song was not enough to save him. Of all the people going home this week, he deserved it the most and not just because I picked him. Of consolation, I'm sure Fantasia will allow him to dance behind her again. Maybe not.

Alex Lambert - Mullets can do anyone in but I don't think that's what happened. If his performance this week was another step in the right direction, he would have been safe. A rugged, manly song of heartache does not fit his innocence. America doesn't like people who don't feel connected with their instrument. Kara's been right all along.

Lilly Scott - This was also ridiculous. Two of the Top 3 girls don't make the Top 12? She was right to be outraged. It couldn't have been the white hair. People love white hair more than mullets. Look at the major online push to get Betty White on SNL. This was a matter of her sound appealing to too small an audience. Talent doesn't always matter and it's a shame.

Going Forward: This was a bad week for Season 9. All four of these ousted performers had the chance to be great and America settled for good enough with Katie, Tim, Lacey, Paige, and Aaron. I anticipate they will be going home first. These four were intriguing. You don't know what they were going to do and that's good television. Todrick could have done a country version of Lady Gaga or a jazzy Kings of Leon and you wouldn't have blinked. Katelyn could have done a slow version of "Old Man River." We just don't know. And we never will.

American Idol Season 9 - Top 24 (Eliminations)

There's something fun about seeing the first week of group song lip synching. Nobody knows how to do it. Just wonderful. Can't wait for next week's 20 person take on "Tik Tok" with Bowersox starting off, "Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy."

Going Home:

Janell Wheeler - I did not expect her to go home. She was one of the weaker girls on Tuesday but she deserved another shot. She's now going to go the way of what's her name from Season 5 and what's her name from Season 2.

Ashley Rodriguez - She never really got highlighted in the weeding out process and, while that worked for Kris Allen, it didn't work for her. She seemed swell.

Joe Munoz - I got this one right. I will take this paragraph to congratulate myself on a choice well done. I have been watching American Idol for a long time and I have a good grasp on how the public votes. You see, his hairline was converging on his face and America sees that. They don't want someone whose face is blocked by hair. Can't see his mouth, his eyes. Ew.

Tyler Grady - This was surprising. I thought he had the teenage girl vote based on his sexy, ugly confidence but I guess not. He took a shot at the judges for not giving him enough criticism, too. It's always a smart move to go out on bottom.

Final Thought: I got 50 percent on this one. Not bad. It's so random at the beginning. Terrible isn't enough to go home. Much like Private Ryan, it is up to Lacey Brown and Jermaine Sellers to earn this. Unfortunately (especially with Lacey), I don't know if they can. See you next week when the singers, and hopefully this blogger, will be more comfortable and ready to shine.