American Idol Season 9 - Top 12 (Eliminations)

The night started off amazing (not with David Cook) but with Randy Jackson not booing Simon Cowell's introduction for the first time in 3 seasons. This is unprecedented, folks. I never thought the day would come. It just goes to show that there's hope in this crazy world. (Pause to gather myself.)

Bottom 3:

Tim Urban - His take on the Rolling Stones focused more on the "rolling." Am I right, mon? I'm not. I don't know what I'm talking about. Was that Jamaican? Should I go with a Jamaican joke now that puns "You're making?" No? Good. This was my mistake in my Bottom 3 predictions from yesterday. I expected his cuteness to carry him through but it's good to know he's vulnerable. I still expect him to make the Tour.

Paige Miles - The pity votes for laryngitis were not as big as I expected.. Time to step it up with a bigger disease next week. I would start by licking the fake Elvis outside Grauman's Chinese Theatre. He's gotta be covered in 20 years of LA germs. She needs a performance that is unanimously heralded by the judges to avoid going home next week.

Lacey Brown - It's the end of the road for the cub (that's a baby cougar). Her problem was she never figured out what jungle cat she wanted to be. She had a cougar face but wore leopard print and sometimes cheetah print. At this point in the competition, they are looking for someone that knows what exotic animal they want to be. That's why she's going home.

Final Thought: Andrew Garcia is more popular than I thought. How many weeks can he be ripped apart by the judges and stay out of the Bottom 3? I can't see it being much longer. I was surprised that the Idols are allowed to pick their "Save" song instead of being forced to sing the one that got them kicked off. That's a nice touch as it was always my complaint last year. Next week's theme has not been announced so I can't make a prediction as to who will go home. Let's say Paige for the heck of it.

American Idol Season 9 - Top 12

It's Rolling Stones Week and after the awful cuts last week, I was expecting a disaster but most of the performances were good to even great. Everyone must have gotten confidence from making the Top 12 because the singing was backed with a "Maybe I belong" attitude. Of note, I have begun fast-forwarding Kara because I can't stand hearing about needing a connection every single freaking time!

Big Mike - "Miss You" - He sings well but his movements, as Simon stated, are corny. It's all ham-fisted theatrics with him and then he eats those fists after blasting his pecs in the Idol gym. When Big Mike does get voted off, can you promise me Tom Hanks will escort him and the mouse whose life he saved off the stage?

Didi Benami - "Play With Fire" - When the cameras showed that she was doing this without a guitar, I got nervous. Were we going to have another "Lean on Me?" The answer was no. She had a determined, angry stare as she sang. It was a really good gamble. She's like a nonvoluptuous Joan from "Mad Men" that sings and cries a lot.

Casey James - "It's All Over Now" - Just like Didi, he decided to go with the setup that got him the most criticism from the judges - electric guitar. He belted it out and he finally had a good performance instead of a safe one. Way to listen to my advice, Casey. It took you three weeks.

Lacey Brown - "Ruby Tuesday" - This is the kind of Ruby Tuesday that would appear in a movie based on a Nicholas Sparks book. It's too sweet and lilting. Her shyness is going to be the end of her. I'm not even worried about her chances on Idol. They're ending soon enough. I'm more worried about how she's going to coax a college guy into her bed in 20 years because shyness won't do it.

Andrew Garcia - "Gimme Shelter" - This competition has broken Andrew. He doesn't know what to do on stage anymore. I thought this was good but it's not his style. He might as well have fun because he's done on the show. Next week's suggestion - cymbals between his knees, a bass drum on his chest and a plastic toy trumpet by his lips.

Katie Stevens - "Wild Horses" - She's wearing the dress she wore to her own 5th birthday party and singing a sexy song. Somewhere, Marky Mark is carving "Katie" into his chest while the guy from CSI is trying to figure out how to not let Katie grow up too fast. It was ok.

Tim Urban - "Under My Thumb" - It was the You-Just-Arrived-At-Sandals-Let-Us-Take-Your-Bags-While-You-Enjoy-A-Cocktail-By-Our-Pool-With-Another-Couple-That-Talks-Too-Much version. It just made me angry because I hate Sandals so much. He also went back to the falsetto from Week One. Oof. Just not good, Tim. However, you are adorable. You can stay.

Siobhan Magnus - "Paint It Black" - That was every sound that can come out of a human mouth all rolled into one song. The judges referenced Adam Lambert and it was true. So much happening vocally. It was one of those performances that I hated. I thought it sounded terrible. She's more than fine, though. She will coast to the Top 5 but I'm glad that was over.

Lee DeWyze - "Beast of Burden" - He does get better every week which is awesome because I have liked him since the beginning. I wish Ellen and Simon would shut up. If he's good, let him be good. Don't put doubts in the voters' minds. He better not go home too soon.

Paige Miles - "Honky Tonk Woman" - She sounded scared. There are times where you can hear the big voice and then there are times where all I can think about is how she took Katelyn Epperly's spot. However, for having laryngitis, it was really good and she should get a bunch of sympathy votes.

Aaron Kelly - "Angie" - I love when they show his growing up pictures. One of them was taken yesterday! Unfortunately, it was very good. Rabbits hopped onto the stage midway through and died from smiling too hard. He's going to be safe. Bummer.

Crystal Bowersox - "You Can't Always Get What You Want" - She is immaculate on stage. I'm glad Simon said Siobhan took her spot as frontrunner because the frontrunners never win. Crystal was too hyped until now and hopefully she can play catch up for a couple of weeks before taking back the top spot.

Bottom Three: This is a tough one because there are people I want to put in the Bottom Three but they won't go there (Tim, Aaron, Katie). Also, last week has me questioning my feel for America's preferences. I think Lacey Brown is a definite. She was mediocre and she made the mistake of thinking she'll be back. When Ryan was showing her the rest of the stage she said she'd remember that for the next week. Never good to assume. You make a Randy out of...wait. After that, I would say Andrew Garcia. He has to start being vulnerable after four weeks of negative criticism from the judges. Finally, I will go with Paige Miles. I think she is safe because of pity for her illness but she has yet to impress.

Going Home: Lacey Brown

American Idol Season 9 - Top 16 (Girls)

The girls made this week's decision on who's going home very easy. The right people stepped up and the producers fell in love with the faded-center split screen.

Katie Stevens - "Breakaway" - So dreary. Notes weren't hit. This competition swallowed her up like snake after one of those famous religious snake fasts. It was the problem of listening to the judges too much. They are merely there to guide you to the sixth floor of your local hospital, not to help you get a record deal.

Siobhan Magnus - "House of the Rising Sun" - Her voice sometimes goes off on that Shakira "I should wear a helmet and safety mittens" twang. The acapella at the front was really good but the rest got a little dull. She's more than safe though.

Lacey Brown - "The Story" - I thought it was really pretty. She was supposed to leave and now I don't know what's going to happen. Up is down. Simon is Randy. A miracle happened on the stage tonight and the 20-year-too-soon cougar may survive to the Top 12.

Katelyn Epperly - "I Feel the Earth Move" - She said she was going for less corny and she does this. She could have sung this while standing in a pool of niblets and not been any more so. I hope this doesn't make people forget how good she is. Hopefully, Didi won't step up and make her chances shakier.

Didi Benami - "Rhiannon" - Sorry Katelyn. I was happy to find out that Didi's reading my blog. How else can you explain how she knew to use an acoustic guitar and sing with little accompaniment? Oh, the judges told her the same thing? Nevermind. Favorite part: Thanks to split screen, she was singing to her guitar playing at one point. Something that normally wouldn't be possible unless this were Cirque du Soleil.

Paige Miles - "Smile" - She sounded terrible. The arrangement was a mess and she couldn't keep up with it. It was like the Idol band hated her. I have no more defenses for her. This case is unwinnable. Can we settle? You're offering a Top 16 finish? We'll take it! Here's my fee, Miss Miles.

Crystal Bowersox - "Give Me One Reason" - She is so good. I don't know what was worse, the audience clapping or the background singers. I may have liked this better than the Tracy Chapman version. Is that allowed? Judges?

Randy

You know I like you, right? I just didn't get it. I didn't get it. Ellen, what do you think?

Ellen

I don't know. I'm TORn.

(hold for laughter)

I still really like you as a blogger.

Kara

I feel like you weren't connected to the listening of the song. You have a great instrument for commentary but you need to rope it in. Maybe another year of blogging. Really working at it. But I'm a fan.

Simon

Look, I don't want to keep going with this. It wasn't good. It's hard when the criticisms of your criticisms are so confusing. But when you look at the other American Idol bloggers out there, you pale in comparison. I don't want to be rude but it's like a wanker in a booth with some crumpets dilly-dallying with a blunderbuss. Sorry.

Lilly Scott - "I Fall To Pieces" - She wore scrunchie earrings. She's so eccentric. I didn't like this one as much. Is her voice getting annoying to me? It could be. She is like a better version of Megan Joy and that might not be a good thing. Next week has to be better.

Going Home: Katie Stevens and Paige Miles

Worried For: Katelyn Epperly

American Idol Season 9 - Top 20 (Girls)

The women brought their A game and won the week from the guys. It was such a beating, they should get rid of 4 guys instead. Well, at least 3. There was one girl that should definitely go.

Crystal Bowersox - "Long As I Can See The Light" - I am glad she's ok to do this. She needs to be here. Kara reverted back to Season 8 Kara by forgetting what song Crystal did last week. It's frustrating when Kara does this because you see such greatness in her as a judge but she fails with consistency. If she ever gets it together, she is going to shine.

Haeley Vaughn - "The Climb" - It's funny that Smiley did Miley. This was soooo Johan Santana - very pitchy. It just wasn't good. Simon gave her his traditional song title turned into an insult and that's not good for anyone.

Lacey Brown - "Kiss Me" - It was pretty good. Definitely better than last week. She should be performing in a lacy robe and furry mules with a pool boy on each arm. If they ever do a flashback episode of "Cougar Town," she can play the older real estate agent in the past.

Lacey in 20 years?

Katie Stevens - "Put Your Records On" - She's an adult contemporary singer as a teenager. It's like an old lady got a second chance at life and came back as a 17 year old. It's only a matter of time before TMZ catches her doing the Lindy Hop, pinching a long cigarette holder between her fingers, fawning over stories of Errol Flynn. She's good. I don't agree with the judges saying she should be singing Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus. She'll find it.

Didi Benami - "Lean On Me" - I liked how she sang this. She suffers from the same thing as Casey James. Their voices shouldn't be fighting over a band. Heavy singing. Bumbling around. A Didi craves not these things. She is a crier and I love how she didn't let a tear tumble down her cheek after all the judges ripped her. Impeccable tear duct control. Well done.

Michelle Delamor - "With Arms Wide Open" - This was one of those risks the judges wanted. It was ok. The chorus was the dull part. Unfortunately, she sang the chorus a lot. She also forgot the rest of her gloves. It had to be distracting to sing with half-cold hands.

Lilly Scott - "A Change Is Gonna Come" - Fantastic. She's like an anime character infused with the spirit of Woodstock (the first one). Everything about her is something I should shallowly hate but together, those parts create beautiful music.

Katelyn Epperly - "The Scientist" - I know it was slow but I was captivated. Maybe it's because I'm not a big Coldplay person so I'm not tied to the original. She's pretty and talented like a unicorn that can juggle. I think she is easily in the Top 10.

Paige Miles - "Walk Away" - She does have a great voice but she is focusing on having fun and not winning the competition. This is a cutthroat business. People can't be enjoying themselves. What are the Idol hopefuls of tomorrow going to think when they see her out there having the time of her life? Because "I want that" is not going to be one of them. I'll bet Haeley's chances of winning on that.

Siobhan Magnus - "Think" - The opening was shaky but that note. That's all anyone is talking about. She hit that note. That note had the power to move her into the Top 5. I also like how Simon doesn't know how to handle her. She seems impervious to his personality attacks. She's Simon's Kryptonite.

Going Home: Haeley Vaughn and Michelle Delamor