American Idol Season 9 - Top 16 (Girls)

The girls made this week's decision on who's going home very easy. The right people stepped up and the producers fell in love with the faded-center split screen.

Katie Stevens - "Breakaway" - So dreary. Notes weren't hit. This competition swallowed her up like snake after one of those famous religious snake fasts. It was the problem of listening to the judges too much. They are merely there to guide you to the sixth floor of your local hospital, not to help you get a record deal.

Siobhan Magnus - "House of the Rising Sun" - Her voice sometimes goes off on that Shakira "I should wear a helmet and safety mittens" twang. The acapella at the front was really good but the rest got a little dull. She's more than safe though.

Lacey Brown - "The Story" - I thought it was really pretty. She was supposed to leave and now I don't know what's going to happen. Up is down. Simon is Randy. A miracle happened on the stage tonight and the 20-year-too-soon cougar may survive to the Top 12.

Katelyn Epperly - "I Feel the Earth Move" - She said she was going for less corny and she does this. She could have sung this while standing in a pool of niblets and not been any more so. I hope this doesn't make people forget how good she is. Hopefully, Didi won't step up and make her chances shakier.

Didi Benami - "Rhiannon" - Sorry Katelyn. I was happy to find out that Didi's reading my blog. How else can you explain how she knew to use an acoustic guitar and sing with little accompaniment? Oh, the judges told her the same thing? Nevermind. Favorite part: Thanks to split screen, she was singing to her guitar playing at one point. Something that normally wouldn't be possible unless this were Cirque du Soleil.

Paige Miles - "Smile" - She sounded terrible. The arrangement was a mess and she couldn't keep up with it. It was like the Idol band hated her. I have no more defenses for her. This case is unwinnable. Can we settle? You're offering a Top 16 finish? We'll take it! Here's my fee, Miss Miles.

Crystal Bowersox - "Give Me One Reason" - She is so good. I don't know what was worse, the audience clapping or the background singers. I may have liked this better than the Tracy Chapman version. Is that allowed? Judges?

Randy

You know I like you, right? I just didn't get it. I didn't get it. Ellen, what do you think?

Ellen

I don't know. I'm TORn.

(hold for laughter)

I still really like you as a blogger.

Kara

I feel like you weren't connected to the listening of the song. You have a great instrument for commentary but you need to rope it in. Maybe another year of blogging. Really working at it. But I'm a fan.

Simon

Look, I don't want to keep going with this. It wasn't good. It's hard when the criticisms of your criticisms are so confusing. But when you look at the other American Idol bloggers out there, you pale in comparison. I don't want to be rude but it's like a wanker in a booth with some crumpets dilly-dallying with a blunderbuss. Sorry.

Lilly Scott - "I Fall To Pieces" - She wore scrunchie earrings. She's so eccentric. I didn't like this one as much. Is her voice getting annoying to me? It could be. She is like a better version of Megan Joy and that might not be a good thing. Next week has to be better.

Going Home: Katie Stevens and Paige Miles

Worried For: Katelyn Epperly

American Idol Season 9 - Top 20 (Girls)

The women brought their A game and won the week from the guys. It was such a beating, they should get rid of 4 guys instead. Well, at least 3. There was one girl that should definitely go.

Crystal Bowersox - "Long As I Can See The Light" - I am glad she's ok to do this. She needs to be here. Kara reverted back to Season 8 Kara by forgetting what song Crystal did last week. It's frustrating when Kara does this because you see such greatness in her as a judge but she fails with consistency. If she ever gets it together, she is going to shine.

Haeley Vaughn - "The Climb" - It's funny that Smiley did Miley. This was soooo Johan Santana - very pitchy. It just wasn't good. Simon gave her his traditional song title turned into an insult and that's not good for anyone.

Lacey Brown - "Kiss Me" - It was pretty good. Definitely better than last week. She should be performing in a lacy robe and furry mules with a pool boy on each arm. If they ever do a flashback episode of "Cougar Town," she can play the older real estate agent in the past.

Lacey in 20 years?

Katie Stevens - "Put Your Records On" - She's an adult contemporary singer as a teenager. It's like an old lady got a second chance at life and came back as a 17 year old. It's only a matter of time before TMZ catches her doing the Lindy Hop, pinching a long cigarette holder between her fingers, fawning over stories of Errol Flynn. She's good. I don't agree with the judges saying she should be singing Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus. She'll find it.

Didi Benami - "Lean On Me" - I liked how she sang this. She suffers from the same thing as Casey James. Their voices shouldn't be fighting over a band. Heavy singing. Bumbling around. A Didi craves not these things. She is a crier and I love how she didn't let a tear tumble down her cheek after all the judges ripped her. Impeccable tear duct control. Well done.

Michelle Delamor - "With Arms Wide Open" - This was one of those risks the judges wanted. It was ok. The chorus was the dull part. Unfortunately, she sang the chorus a lot. She also forgot the rest of her gloves. It had to be distracting to sing with half-cold hands.

Lilly Scott - "A Change Is Gonna Come" - Fantastic. She's like an anime character infused with the spirit of Woodstock (the first one). Everything about her is something I should shallowly hate but together, those parts create beautiful music.

Katelyn Epperly - "The Scientist" - I know it was slow but I was captivated. Maybe it's because I'm not a big Coldplay person so I'm not tied to the original. She's pretty and talented like a unicorn that can juggle. I think she is easily in the Top 10.

Paige Miles - "Walk Away" - She does have a great voice but she is focusing on having fun and not winning the competition. This is a cutthroat business. People can't be enjoying themselves. What are the Idol hopefuls of tomorrow going to think when they see her out there having the time of her life? Because "I want that" is not going to be one of them. I'll bet Haeley's chances of winning on that.

Siobhan Magnus - "Think" - The opening was shaky but that note. That's all anyone is talking about. She hit that note. That note had the power to move her into the Top 5. I also like how Simon doesn't know how to handle her. She seems impervious to his personality attacks. She's Simon's Kryptonite.

Going Home: Haeley Vaughn and Michelle Delamor

American Idol Season 9 - Top 24 (Girls)

American Idol posts are back on Tor's Take but, like the Top 24, a little nervous and tight out of the gate.

Paige Miles - "It's Alright Now" - The Top 24 gets off to a rocking start. Well, by categorization. She adds h's to the front of words. Doctors will tell you that a soft h sound contributes to bladder control which is good because she was sewn into her outfit and had to pee for 5 hours. Thanks, Seacrest interview.

Ashley Rodriguez - "Happy" - I don't know this song. It did not seem like she was singing the same one the band was playing. However, the background singers were with her. That's good because, at a live show, you want at least 2/3rds of the lead singer/background vocals/band combination to be performing the same song. Regardless, this was pretty bad.

Janell Wheeler - "What About Love?" - This is someone who did their Idol homework. Last season, Allison Iraheta knocked a Heart song out of the park and jumped into the lead. Janell doesn't have the voice to do Heart so I cannot accept her homework. And there will be no extra credit. The would be unfair to the rest of the class. Not good but she has the "look" so Simon gave a minor complement that should keep her around.

Lilly Scott - "Fixin a Hole" - She's like Jewel but from Colorado. I got all ready to post a "She should skip the singing and go straight to obscure poetry" shot but she was cool. I like what she did with this. Obscure Beatles song is the way to go. Also a rare quality and thought-out Randy Jackson critique. Nothing is predictable.

Katelyn Epperly - "Oh Darlin" - Two good ones in a row. Clarification: Two good ones in a row by comparison to the terrible start. She's cute and safe. I agree with Kara that she's dressed too sexy. Randy thinks she "can go places and do stuff." Welcome back, Randy and predictability.

Haeley Vaughn - "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" - The stylists were like, "More white! More glitter! More! More! More!" She smiles and moves like she's in the Chuck E. Cheese band. Regardless, I dug what she did with the arrangement and the phrasing. If she had incorporated a voice that wasn't annoying, she might have had something. As it was, it was bad as Simon said.

Lacey Brown - "Landslide" - Really, really bad. Worst of the night and probably the end of the line for her. I really wanted her to be good. I like her whole "I'm what a hot 40 year old wants Botox to make her look like" appearance. At least she made it further than last year.

Michelle Delamor - "Falling" - The opening was cool because she did it differently than Alicia Keys. But then she just tried to sound like her which is hard because Alicia is soooo good. And now I'm becoming a judge sound-a-like and I don't like my chances of coming back next week. I'm forgettable.

Didi Benami - "The Way I Am" - She managed to slow down an already slow song. How does that work? The good news is that she didn't cry so I guess she mixed it up this week. This song works for my iPod but not for American Idol. This is the second time someone sang this song this season and Simon did not like it either time even though both did a good job. It's time for Ingrid Michaelson to step in.

Siobhan Magnus - "Wicked Games" - She is so weird. Ever since Ellen told her to make her look younger, she dressed more like a child each appearance. I'm glad the stylists stepped in before she came on stage in a diaper and protective mittens. Even though she can sing on key in the voice of a woman impersonating a man, I don't think she should. She will be fine, however.

Crystal Bowersox - "Hand In My Pocket" - It was good but I've been more blown away by her in the past. She is the the leader of the females which is good because Kara thinks she has the ability to take us on a journey. One second, Bowersox, I have to pack an overnight bag. Stop talking in cliches, Kara. Talk like a person.

Katie Stevens - "Feeling Good" - It made me uncomfortable. She's 17. Why was this allowed for a girl who has been portrayed as sweet, nice, and family-oriented? I'm too disturbed by this. She'll be back next week. Probably in leather strutting to Christina Aguilera's "Dirty."

Bottom Three: How do I narrow this down? Lacey Brown is a given. There was nothing salvageable from that one. Ashley Rodriguez and Haeley Vaughn should finish up the trio.

Going Home: Lacey Brown and Ashley Rodriguez