Showing posts with label tim gunn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tim gunn. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Tor's News Nuggets: 9/16/09

A Florida woman is carrying around a cardboard cutout of her boyfriend who is serving in Iraq, taking pictures with the cutout wherever she goes to try to cheer him up. I think a better way to cheer him up would be to have the real boyfriend in front of a cardboard cutout of Iraq.

After hearing about the Kanye West-Taylor Swift incident, Barack Obama called Kanye a "jackass." He then followed Kanye West around ruining his golf outing with Bob Barker.

An elementary school boy found a rare pink grasshopper at a wildlife event he attended for fun with his great-grandfather. When asked to comment, the bully at the boy's school struggled to say, "Pink grasshopper...wildlife event for fun...too...much" and then exploded.

Snuggie presented new styles of their comfort loungewear at NY Fashion Week. New styles included leopard print, zebra print, and a wooden casket with sleeves for Tim Gunn.

Kate Gosselin changed her image by getting a new hairstyle which she debuted on "The View." Most people are disappointed. They hoped her new image would be something along the lines of "gone from our lives forever."

A 68-year-old man was honored at McDonald's for 50 years of service. The man said he's one summer away from saving up for that new Ford Fairlane. A coworker then responded, "Like the movie with Andrew Dice Clay?" before getting his award for 20 years of service.

Michael Moore says he may quit making documentaries. As a response, corruption tentatively rose.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Is That A Gunn In My Pocket? I Wish!

I watch Project Runway. I've watched it since Season One when my wife and I got hooked on a Saturday Bravo marathon and didn't move from the couch for six hours. Now we are near the end of Season Five and I've been there for every "auf wiedersehen" and catty confessional along the way. However, what I love most about this show is Tim Gunn. I wish there was a Tim Gunn in my house at all times guiding me through my comedy creations.

I could be editing my YouTube video:

Tim Gunn
Kevin, what do we have here?

Kevin
This is my latest YouTube video. I was going for funny but different.

Tim Gunn
I'm concerned. It feels late 1990s SNL .

Kevin
It does? I guess I can cut it more here and here.

Tim Gunn
I would. Cut it as much as possible.
(beat)
Well, you have a lot of work to do.

Kevin
Thanks, Tim.

I could be writing a blog:

Tim Gunn
Kevin, tell me about this.

Kevin
I was trying to take the traditional blog and turn it on it's head.

Tim Gunn
It's definitely avant-garde.

Kevin
It is? I mean, it is.

Tim Gunn
It's exquisite. I love it. Carry on.

Kevin
Thanks, Tim. That makes me so happy.

When I get booted out of comedy:

Tim Gunn
We're going to miss you.

Tim Gunn hugs Kevin.

Kevin
(crying)
I'm going to miss you, too, Tim.

Tim Gunn
Now pack up your Mac and your camcorder. You're going back to teaching.

Cut to Kevin in the confessional.

Kevin
(to camera, choked up)
I really don't want to give up on comedy. I love it too much. This is not the end of the line for me. You will hear the name Kevin Tor again.