Rejected 7-Eleven Slurpees

7-Eleven has been doing a promotion this summer where they create a new slurpee flavor and tie it into a movie. For example, they made Apocalyptic Ice for "Terminator: Salvation." They also just launched the Liquid Artillery Slurpee for "G.I. Joe." But what slurpees didn't make the cut for the summer? I've got the answers.

1. Haunted and Shirtless Fizzie ("Ghosts of Girlfriends Past")
2. Soon, I'll Have 2 Bedrooms! Cooler ("My Sister's Keeper")
3. Frozen Jack and Coke Slurpee ("The Hangover")
4. Neurotic Sweat Juice ("Whatever Works")
5. Nectar of Additional Box Office Failure ("Imagine That")
6. Extract of Bruno ("Bruno")
7. Undeserved Love Blend ("Orphan")
8. 300 Reasons To Suck Slurpee ("The Ugly Truth")
9. Vocal Furry Rodent Float ("G-Force")
10. Public Enemy Number Punch ("Public Enemies")

Tor's News Nuggets: 5/18/09

7-11 is selling an Apocalyptic Slurpee. This is in honor of the new Terminator movie starring Christian Bale. I feel like there was already an Acopalyptic Slurpee. Maybe I'm just remembering that the last time I finished a Slurpee, I got so ill I wanted the world to end.

The Hubble Telescope was believed to be on its last legs but 1 billion dollars in repairs may have bought it 5 to 10 more years in space. You would think for 1 billion dollars, it would live forever. They should have used Magic Johnson's guy. He can fix anything.

A 66-year-old British woman is going to be a mother for the first time. You know, just because she's eligible for the Early Bird doesn't mean she has to partake in the worm.

A 66-year-old British woman is going to be a mother for the first time. At least when her water breaks, the splash will be minimal. (Because her vagina is by her knees.  I am so sorry.)

A 66-year-old British woman is going to be a mother for the first time. When her kid's friends call her a MILF, it will stand for Mom I'd Like to Feed the ducks with.

A 66-year-old British woman is going to be a mother for the first time. I saved the biggest joke for last: the kid's childhood.