Drink when:
- the captains approach midfield and start choosing players for their team
- a player is actually canonized
- a player turns to the camera and talks about DirectTV
- Drew Brees leaves for Disney Land before the game ends
- a pig storms the field to confirm the ball is made of cow skin
- a fire breaks out in one of Kim Kardashian's luxury boxes forcing her ass cheeks to share one
- a commercial is funny
- an English professor storms the field to teach fans "Who IS that?"
- an announcer questions Peyton Manning's decision making
- a mysterious murder is discovered right before the Who begins the halftime show
- the Saints sign Brett Favre during halftime
- a cow storms the field to confront the pig about farm animal decency
- the Saints score a TD when Manning passes to lesser-known, always runs the wrong way target, Wayne Reggie
- the Saints win
