Tor's Onion Stories: August 25, 2009

I thought I would start something new. I would love to write for The Onion one day and there's no better way to prepare for writing for something than to pretend to write for it. So I am going to periodically come up with 10 stories that I would submit to The Onion.

• Frank Caliendo Diets To Resemble People He Does Impressions Of
• Drunk Man Pees On Picasso Collection Turning It Green
• French Horn Playing Leads To Cat Ownership Later In Life
• Phish Fan Too High To Realize Band's Five Year Hiatus
• Sliced Bread Still Considered Really Great
• Google Maps Shows Country Roads NOT Best Route Home For John Denver
• New CBS Sitcom Enjoyed By Studio Audience
• Turns Out Father's Missing Child Was On Top Of His Head All Along
• Roger Turdburger Earns Nobel Prize, 5 Minutes Without Name Mocking
• Local Man Makes One Too Many "Don't Block The Box" Jokes To Girlfriend

What do you think?