Tor's News Nuggets: 5/18/09

7-11 is selling an Apocalyptic Slurpee. This is in honor of the new Terminator movie starring Christian Bale. I feel like there was already an Acopalyptic Slurpee. Maybe I'm just remembering that the last time I finished a Slurpee, I got so ill I wanted the world to end.

The Hubble Telescope was believed to be on its last legs but 1 billion dollars in repairs may have bought it 5 to 10 more years in space. You would think for 1 billion dollars, it would live forever. They should have used Magic Johnson's guy. He can fix anything.

A 66-year-old British woman is going to be a mother for the first time. You know, just because she's eligible for the Early Bird doesn't mean she has to partake in the worm.

A 66-year-old British woman is going to be a mother for the first time. At least when her water breaks, the splash will be minimal. (Because her vagina is by her knees.  I am so sorry.)

A 66-year-old British woman is going to be a mother for the first time. When her kid's friends call her a MILF, it will stand for Mom I'd Like to Feed the ducks with.

A 66-year-old British woman is going to be a mother for the first time. I saved the biggest joke for last: the kid's childhood.